Piranesi(25)

‘No,’ I said. ‘No, I do not think that I would.’

‘Well,’ he said and took a deep breath. ‘In those circumstances, if I find you are mad, then I think it’s best if I kill you. For both our sakes.’

‘Oh!’ I said. This was rather unexpected.

There was a short silence.

‘But perhaps, given time and help, I might recover?’ I suggested.

‘It’s unlikely,’ said the Other. ‘And in any case I really couldn’t take the chance.’

‘Oh,’ I said.

There was a longer silence.

‘How will you kill me?’ I asked.

‘You don’t want to know that,’ he said.

‘No. I suppose not.’

‘Don’t think like that, Piranesi. Do what I’ve told you. Avoid 16 at all costs, then we won’t have a problem.’

‘Why have you not gone mad?’ I asked.

‘What?’

‘You have spoken to 16. Why have you not gone mad?’

‘I told you before. I have certain ways to protect myself. Besides,’ he said with a rueful screwing up of his mouth, ‘it’s not as if I’m completely immune to it. God knows I feel half-mad with everything at the moment.’

We fell into silence again. We were both in a state of shock, I think. Then the Other put on a slightly forced smile and made an effort to appear more normal. A thought struck him. ‘How did you know?’ he asked.

‘What?’ I said.

‘I thought you said … You seemed to be saying that you already knew that 16 was looking for you. You in particular. But how could you? How could you know that?’ I could see by his face that he was trying to work it out.

Now was the time to tell him about the Prophet. It was on the tip of my tongue to do so. I hesitated. I said, ‘It was revealed to me. By the House. You know how I have these revelations?’

‘Oh. Right. That. And what was it that you wanted to say to me? You said you had something important to tell me.’

Another short pause.

‘I saw an octopus swimming in the Lower Halls that are reached from the Eighteenth Vestibule,’ I said.

‘Oh,’ said the Other. ‘Did you? That’s nice.’

‘It was nice,’ I agreed.

The Other took a deep breath. ‘So! Keep away from 16! And don’t go mad!’ He smiled at me.

‘You may be certain that I will keep away from 16,’ I said. ‘And I will not go mad.’

The Other clapped me on the shoulder. ‘Excellent,’ he said.

My reaction to the Other’s declaration that he may, under certain circumstances, kill me

ENTRY FOR THE TWENTY-FIFTH DAY OF THE SEVENTH MONTH IN THE YEAR THE ALBATROSS CAME TO THE SOUTH-WESTERN HALLS

I had had a lucky escape! I had almost told the Other about the Prophet! And then he (the Other) would have said, ‘Why did you speak to an Unknown Person when you promised me you would not? Did you not think that it might be 16?’

And what would I have answered? Because I did think that he was 16 when I spoke to him. I did break my promise to the Other. There is no excuse for it. Thank the House I had not told him! At best he would have thought me an untrustworthy person. At worst it would have inclined him all the more to kill me.

And yet I cannot help thinking that if the situation was reversed and if it were the Other’s sanity that was threatened by 16, I would not resort to killing him quite so quickly. To be honest I do not think that I would ever want to kill him – the idea of it is abhorrent to me. Certainly I would try other things first, like finding a cure for his madness. But the Other is rather inflexible in his character. I would not go so far as to say it is a fault, but it is a definite tendency.

I change my appearance in anticipation of the coming of 16

ENTRY FOR THE FIRST DAY OF THE EIGHTH MONTH IN THE YEAR THE ALBATROSS CAME TO THE SOUTH-WESTERN HALLS

Just now I am practising hiding from 16.

Imagine, (I say to Myself) that you have just seen someone – 16! – in the Twenty-Third South-Eastern Hall. Now hide Yourself!

Then I run swiftly and silently to a Wall and I spring into the Gap between two Statues. I press Myself into it and remain still and silent. Yesterday a buzzard flew into the Hall where I was hiding, looking for smaller birds to eat. He circled the Hall and perched on the Statue of a Man and a Boy mapping Stars. He remained there for half an hour but did not perceive me.

My clothes are perfect for camouflage. When I was younger my shirts and trousers were different colours: blue, black, white, grey, olive brown. One shirt was a very nice cherry red colour. But they have all faded to mere ghosts of colours. All are now an undistinguished and indistinguishable grey, which fades into the greys and whites of the marble Statues.

However my hair is a different matter. Over the years, as it has grown longer, I have interlaced it with pretty things that I have found or made: seashells, coral beads, pearls, tiny pebbles and interesting fishbones. Many of these little ornaments are bright, shiny and have eye-catching colours. All of them rattle when I walk or run. So last week I spent an afternoon extricating them all. It was not easy and sometimes it was painful. I have placed my ornaments in the beautiful box with the octopus on it, which previously contained my shoes. When 16 returns to his own Halls, I shall put them back – I feel oddly naked without them.