Burning Glass (Burning Glass, #1)(36)

“Why did you come here, Anton? Why did you say I must take care for my life?”

His eyes, having found mine, didn’t leave. They glowed warm and soft, illuminated by the candles. He shifted closer, and my heart pounded—in warning, in yearning, in the pangs of his frustration with me. He stopped only inches away. I swayed a little on my feet, caught between wanting to step back or move forward into the swirl of energy surrounding him.

“My brother craves power,” he said. “Above all, power over me.”

I struggled to grasp the meaning behind his words. His scent drifted nearer, dark and masculine, yet also fragile like dried pine needles, like a bed of kindling. All he awaited was a match.

“What does that have to do with me?” I asked, my arms still wrapped around my chest, my fingers curled around my elbows.

Anton’s brows gathered together, rife with the pained look he wore a moment ago. My stomach tightened and warmed, as if I’d tasted something bittersweet and wanted more of it. Pulled by invisible threads, my gaze dropped to his lips. The warmth within me blossomed. A rush of blood trailed up to my neck and face. My balance faltered again. My eyes flitted to his, brown and deep and full of endless mystery.

Did this overpowering feeling come from him? Or was this me, enamored beyond reason with a prince whom I never ceased to annoy and disappoint? I searched his gaze. Did he still see me as a burden, the Auraseer he so reluctantly fetched from the convent?

The tendons in his neck remained taut as he swallowed. “Valko has asked that you attend him tonight in his rooms.”

My nerves flashed with ice. My hands trembled. My heart pounded in alarm. “Why?” I asked. My thoughts rushed to the conversation I’d just shared with Pia—how the emperor’s charm had been irresistible to her. How she didn’t want to stop kissing him.

“My brother craves power,” Anton said again. His next words came softly, the whisper that had eluded him earlier. His eyes looked lost, helpless. “You should not have defended me, Sonya.”

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t comprehend any of this. “And he gave you this errand to summon me?”

He shook his head miserably, in denial of the truth. “Yes.”

I stumbled back and turned away, my legs stiff and stunned. “What does he expect from me?” I had to be the youngest Auraseer the palace had seen in a century—perhaps ever. Had Valko found more carnal uses for my position? A wave of nausea washed through my gut. Anton hadn’t answered my question. “Tell him I am ill,” I commanded.

“That won’t satisfy him.”

I spun around, my nightgown swishing at my ankles. “I did not come here for this!” I shook with rage. “He owns enough of me.” A sob broke through my words.

“Then don’t let him take more.” Anton’s jaw locked.

“How?” My palms pressed to my temples with desperation. “How can I deny the emperor?”

Tola’s and Dasha’s faces haunted me again, as they always did when I wanted to run away and never return. I couldn’t fail in my duty, however sordid it was becoming.

“Did you do what I asked of you?” Anton asked. “Did you find a place within yourself, belonging to no one else?”

I shrugged as panic choked me. “It’s not that simple.”

He gripped me by the shoulders. “There is strength in you, Sonya. I saw it when you came to your friend’s defense at the convent, when you refused your furs, when you hesitated to eat the emperor’s meat in a room full of gluttonous nobles. Valko’s passions are strong, but you can break through any hold he places on you.” Anton lifted his brows, bending closer as he tried to reassure me. “Romska boys must have tried to kiss you. What did you do then?”

My hands flew up in exasperation. “I kissed them back!”

Something dark passed over his features. A spark of jealousy? He blinked it away before I could test the pulse of his aura, before I could hold it inside me to see how it made me feel. “Listen to me,” he said, forcing himself into a tenuous state of calm that had no strength to soothe my nerves. “I believe in you. You can appear meek, but also draw a line as to what your relationship will be.”

I released a heavy breath. “You warned me of your brother. Do you have enough faith in him to respect me if I show restraint?”

“If I cannot have faith in him regarding that, then I’ve given up on him completely.”

He didn’t directly answer my question, but I could see he wanted to say yes, that he longed to find some portion of confidence in Valko. It didn’t matter what his reply would have been, however. It didn’t change the fact I had no choice but to yield to the emperor’s request.

“I will go,” I said numbly, though there was something Anton wasn’t telling me about the threat of this evening. I suspected it had to do with danger I’d find myself in if Valko were to form a strong attachment to me. I resolved to ensure that wouldn’t happen.

Anton sighed with resignation, his hands still on my shoulders. “Remember what I said. Meekness, yet firmness of character. Keep your visit brief and stay grounded. Think on something else—anything but him.”

With hollow eyes I stared at the prince and wished he could come with me. He’d distracted me from the throngs of people in the city square. He stood a chance of distracting me from his brother.