What Lies Beyond the Veil (Of Flesh & Bone, #1)(14)
"I like it out here at night," I returned, tugging back and raising my chin in defiance. Every moment I spent delaying my confession felt like a lie by omission.
"Only the Ladies of the Night are out at this hour. Even if a cave beast doesn't find you and make a snack out of you, do you want one of the travelers visiting Mistfell for the celebration to mistake you for one of them?" Loris asked, pulling me back into his chest and teasing the corner of my mouth with his. The temptation to give in rolled over me, but I shoved it away with two hands at his chest.
"Then I suppose it would be a terrible idea for them to see me wrapped in your arms, wouldn't it?" I asked with a saccharine smile, turning on my heel and continuing toward the manor.
Until the day I had an official master, I wouldn't be owned in the night.
"Estrella, wait!" Loris called, hurrying up behind me and grasping my wrist. He tugged, pulling me back into his chest as that confident smile consumed his face. "You know I just worry about you." He kissed me again, this one deeper and holding the heat of a single moment of passion that he knew I couldn't say no to.
"I'm not yours to worry over anymore," I said with a sigh, murmuring the harsh reminder of what we both knew was coming. He just didn't know it had likely already arrived. "Lord Byron knows about us."
Loris pulled back, his brow furrowing as he stared down at me. “What?”
“Apparently he’s known for some time,” I admitted, shrugging my shoulders and feigning a casualness about the situation that I didn’t feel. Something inside me recoiled, just thinking about the potential fallout with Lord Byron for what I’d done.
“But your lack of purity would make you ineligible for marriage. Why hasn’t he put you to work with the Ladies, or told the Commander what I’ve done, for that matter? That makes no sense whatsoever, for him to keep our secret when we violated The Mother’s doctrine,” he said, raising a hand to scrub down his face in confusion.
“He does nothing without a purpose. I’m on my way to find out what it is,” I admitted, hanging my head and touching my forehead to his chest briefly. “He requested my presence in his library, so I’ll know more soon. But no matter what he has to say, we can’t meet anymore. It’s too dangerous for you.”
“He didn’t seem to object to it, if he allowed it to go on for this long. He could’ve had me hanged months ago for ruining you in the eyes of The Mother,” Loris said, scoffing as he took a step back. Even if his words were an argument that Lord Byron seemed willing to allow another man to touch me, Loris had already put the necessary distance between us, recognizing the danger in continuing to have a relationship with me when the secret had been discovered.
“I don’t think he would have told me he knew unless he wanted it to stop. Whatever his reasons, I don’t think they apply anymore.” I didn’t speak of the words the High Priest had said at Temple earlier in the day, nor did I mention the hint that The Father had plans for me, and what that might mean with the coming sacrifice. It seemed like the odds of Lord Byron’s plan for me carrying weight for very long were slim.
Loris let me go as I backed away and turned toward the manor, because to go against the wishes, even unspoken, of Lord Byron, would violate the vows he’d taken to serve Mistfell and the Veil.
And his duty came first.
He disappeared in the opposite direction on the path as I turned my back on him as well; both going our separate ways as we’d always known we’d need to one day. I hadn’t expected it to sting as much as it did, stripping me of any illusions I’d allowed myself for those few moments wrapped in his arms.
He’d been my safety for a few hours during each week, when we managed to find time together in secret while he was off-duty. He’d made me feel like I mattered—I was more than a broodmare and might be worth risking the consequences to be with—but Loris still turned his back on me without much regret. He’d still walked into the woods to do what was expected of him, in the end.
I continued on my original path through the woods, blinking back the sting of tears I hadn’t expected at the loss of something that had never been mine. Hurrying into the shadows of the trees to avoid further incident, I stuck close to the path but let them cover me as I approached the barracks that housed the Mist Guard.
The Manor lay behind them, protected from the Veil by the imposing building that was practically a fortress. It was said to rival the palace in the capital of Ineburn City in terms of fortitude. I'd never been permitted inside the barracks themselves. No one who wasn't a member of the Mist Guard had. Loris was quiet about the details of the life he lived within those walls, to keep me from really feeling the differences between us. The other guards, however, weren't nearly as aware of the poverty that ran rampant within Mistfell and the way most of us suffered while they lived in luxury.
The Mist Guard were deemed a class all their own. In an ideal world, not tainted by Lord Byron’s corruption, they weren't supposed to report to anyone or anything other than their own doctrines and hierarchy. Not the Lord of Mistfell; not even the King of Nothrek. They were intended to be a separate entity from the crown.
As such, it was only natural that they were treated like royalty as well. This was the reward for choosing a life of service protecting the Kingdom from the creatures on the other side of the impenetrable Veil.