These Deadly Games(99)
But I knew what evidence would exonerate me. And I knew it existed. All I needed was one conversation with Zoey. One conversation alone, just the two of us. And Chief Sanchez agreed to let her visit.
Zoey pressed her lips together as we each waited for the other to say something else. She wouldn’t budge, so I spoke first. “I didn’t hurt any of you on purpose.”
Tears immediately sprang to her eyes. “You let Matty eat those brownies.” But I definitely used the vanilla extract. I knew that now. Once the dust settled, and I had nothing to do but replay those awful twenty-four hours in my mind, I remembered the bottle of extract I used had been brand new. I’d had to peel off the plastic seal. I told Mom, and she found it in the trash. Proof. I’d only measured out extract from one bottle. Vanilla. That’s it. Andrew had broken in when I went to the gazebo, tampered with the batter, then confiscated the EpiPens upstairs. He never had a real hostage to look after, so he was free to sneak around. He must’ve stolen Matty’s EpiPens at practice that morning, or anytime at school. Later, as the paramedics whisked Matty away and we were all distracted, Andrew had slipped back upstairs to replace ours.
“I didn’t know they were tainted,” I said.
“You called in a fake tip—”
“I didn’t realize it was Randall’s address.”
“You pushed Kiki off that cliff—”
“She fell by accident—”
“You tied me to that chair!” She was crying now.
“Andrew said he’d kill my sister if the cops found out!”
“You have an excuse for everything!”
“Because it’s all true!”
She covered her mouth, tears spilling down her cheeks.
“Please, Zoey. Don’t do what he did. Andrew knew the truth, knew our truth, and he didn’t tell anyone. He let that grudge fester for years, and he got his revenge, but look where it got him. You know the truth. You know.”
“Even so. You hurt our friends. You hurt me.” Her lower lip quivered. “I never would have done that to you.” Even so. She did know. “I would have told you what was happening. I would have found a way, any other way.”
“Please understand … I was terrified for my sister. I’d do anything to protect her.” Years ago, after seeing how devastated and helpless Andrew looked after Brady’s death, I vowed never to let that happen to us. I vowed to always protect Caelyn, no matter what it took—even if it meant blackmailing my own drunken father into leaving.
As it turned out, that’s exactly what whipped Dad into shape. He’d visited me yesterday, having flown in after Mom told him what happened. Apparently, he’d joined AA out in Vegas and had been sober for months, and recently got a marketing job at one of the big casinos.
“I need you to know,” he’d said, “I left because I knew your mother would be better off without me. And I’ve left you alone because … well, because I’m a coward. I thought you hated me. But I never would’ve hurt you. Never. I tried coming into your room that night because your mom threatened to take you kids away, and I wanted to make sure you were still there. That’s all. But I’m sorry I scared you. I never should have laid a hand on your mom. I never should have … spoken to you, the way I did sometimes. I should’ve been a better father, a better husband. I royally screwed up everything, and I’m so, so sorry.”
Had I overreacted, driving him away? I always seemed to suspect the absolute worst in people. But if what I did helped Mom, and got Dad to clean up his act, I couldn’t regret it. I’d go mad if I regretted all the ways I’d screwed up trying to help people.
“Everything I did,” I said to Zoey, “was to protect Caelyn. You can’t know what you’d do until you’re in that kind of situation. You just can’t.”
Zoey’s jaw hardened. “Just because I don’t have a sister doesn’t mean I don’t know what it’d be like to make impossible decisions.”
“I never said that—”
But she talked over me. “You and Kiki always do that … You’ve always kept stuff from me, like you assumed I wouldn’t get it. She told me about her eating disorder, you know, after she started therapy. She told me how you convinced her what she was seeing in the mirror wasn’t real, and to talk to her parents, and all that. I could have been there for her, too. I could have been there for both of you. But you never trusted me. Why?”
“I could ask you the same thing. I never knew you were struggling, because you kept it all bottled up. Why?”
She tugged at the ends of her pink hair. “That’s fair. I … I guess I thought you’d think my problems were silly.” She shrugged. “I was afraid if I seemed like a whiny bitch, you’d leave me out even more.”
“That’s why you cheated, wasn’t it? And why you blackmailed me when I caught you. You were afraid to be left out.”
She cringed. “I hate that I did that. I really regret it. All of it.”
“I regret a lot of things, too. But we can’t hold them over each other’s heads forever. We have to forgive each other. For all of it.”
She perched her elbows on the table and held her face. “You’ll never forgive me.”
“I already have.” I reached over and took one of her hands, making her look at me. “We both hurt each other. I’m so sorry for what I did to you. I’m sorry for starting the lie about Brady, for pressuring you to go along with it. I’m sorry Kiki and I kept things from you. I’m sorry for treating you like a criminal for cheating. I’m sorry for not seeing all the pressure you’ve been under. And I’m sorry beyond words for tying you to that chair. I’m sorry, and I mean it. I mean it so freaking much.”