The Waiting: A Supernatural Thriller(29)

“I thought you said he loved the boat rides.”

“Yeah, you know, we feel strange here. The guy before us goes missing, and I don’t know. I don’t think it’s safe here for Shaun.”

“Safe?”

“Yeah.”

“Ev, did something happen?”

All at once he wanted to tell Jason everything: the doll, the body in the lake, his dreams. But what would Jason ask next? Or maybe he wouldn’t ask. They were such good of friends that he couldn’t ask out loud, but he would wonder, Is Shaun safe with you? Stanching the urge to tell Jason all of it, he made his way to Shaun’s room, pausing in the doorway to watch him sleep.

“No. I can’t explain it.”

“Listen, man, sit down for a minute, okay? Do you want to know what I think?”

“No, but I’m guessing you’re going to tell me.”

“I think maybe you’re finally alone with your thoughts, and they’re getting to you.”

“I’m always alone with my thoughts, they never leave me.”


“I know, but that place is different. You’re separated from any distractions. You have your writing to focus on now, and you’re getting to spend more time with Shaun, and I think it’s an overload.”

“I like writing, I love being with Shaun.”

“I know you do, but this is the first time since Elle that you’ve had a chance to slow down and realize where you’re at. For f*ck’s sake, man, you’re a single father of a child with special needs who lost his wife—you’re allowed to feel overwhelmed sometimes.”

“But it’s more than that,” Evan said, turning away from Shaun’s room. “I feel like I’m losing it sometimes.” It was as close as he could get to the truth.

“And that’s perfectly natural. I don’t know if you’ve allowed yourself the time to actually grieve.”

“I grieve every day,” Evan said. “There’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t miss her and regret the day of our accident. If I could go back and stop myself from suggesting we go see that movie, we would’ve never been there at that intersection and Shaun would be fine.”

“You can’t do that to yourself, there’s no way you could’ve known about the accident or Elle’s cancer.”

Feeling deflated, Evan sank into the sofa, unconsciously checking the basement door’s reflection in the blank TV screen. “I know, it’s ...”

“It isn’t f*cking fair, that’s what it is,” Jason finished for him. “I’m sorry, man, about everything, but I think a few months to decompress would be good for you, give your mind a chance to recoup some lost ground.”

Evan smiled wanly. “Is that a jab?”

“Of course.”

“God, I don’t know. I wonder sometimes. I wonder if there’s someone else that’s living our life, the life we should’ve had, and somehow we got theirs by mistake, like a big cosmic joke.”

“I don’t know about that, man, but I do know my best friend, and he’s the most dedicated, loyal, loving father any kid could want. There’s no better hands Shaun could be in. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, but at times I don’t feel like it.”

“Well, I’m telling you there isn’t. Sometimes people are too close to their own lives to see what’s wrong or right, but I’m looking in from the outside. You’re doing excellent.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“By the way, how’s Lily and Lisa?”

“They’re good. Lily’s doing soccer this summer. She’s all jazzed up about it, broke one of Lisa’s plates the other day kicking a ball around inside the kitchen.”

Evan laughed. “How’s work?”

“It blows, but it pays too well for me to tell the board to get f*cked.”

Evan smiled and nodded, feeling drained and somewhat foolish.

“Seriously though, man, think about what I said. I’m no psychologist, but you do have one on hand—if you’re not using her for something else.”

“God. I’m hanging up now.”

“Kidding. But if you need to talk about anything, don’t hesitate.”

“I never do.”

Jason laughed. “All right, I got a game to get back to here.”

“Yeah, I’ll let you go.” The image of the doll lying facedown in the basement returned, and he quickly devised a way to fix the issue. “Hey, one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“That doll that’s down in the basement, the one with the blue eyes?”

“Doll ... doll ... oh yeah, that’s Lily’s old doll. My grandma gave it to her for her second birthday.”

Evan’s heart sank. Thoughts of throwing the thing away evaporated. “Oh, gotcha.”

“Why? Does Shaun want to play with it or something?”

“No, no,” Evan said, too quickly. The idea of Shaun playing with the thing made his guts squirm. “No, I saw it down there, and it looked strange with the duct tape over its mouth.”

Jason’s end became quiet, and then he laughed once, dry.