The Sweetness of Salt(71)

“I know.” Sophie cut me off abruptly. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot. It’s so stupid of me to push them away when they want to help so much. Besides, if I keep going the way I am, even with all your do-it-yourself expertise…” She stopped for a moment and laughed. “I’ll never open the place!”

I grinned. “Good,” I said softly.

Behind us came a light tap on the door. I turned as Sophie sat forward and then I stood up, almost knocking my chair over.

“Mom! Dad!”

Mom rushed in first, her face streaked with old tears. She clutched me to her wordlessly and held on, as if she might never let go. Dad waited patiently behind her, his hand resting lightly on her shoulder. Something twisted inside me as I watched him with new eyes, as I felt her, and I pulled away. Mom looked startled for a brief second, and then her eyes moved to Sophie. “Honey,” she said, her voice breaking. “We got into town this morning—we wanted to surprise you, both of you—and when we couldn’t find you at the house, we went across the street and they told us…”

“Who told you?” Sophie asked.

Dad shrugged. “Some big guy with suspenders,” he said. “But everyone in the place seemed to know that you were here.”

Sophie grinned. “It’s a small town.”

I took a step back. “I’m gonna go outside for a minute. I just need some air. I’ll be right back.”

“Honey,” Mom said, stretching out her arm. “Stay…”

I nodded. “We’ll talk. I just need a minute, okay?”



The sun was soft on my arms as I strolled outside and sat down on one of the visitor benches. I didn’t know what to feel about Mom and Dad, now that I knew everything. The only thing I did know was that it hurt to be in the same room with them. How was I supposed to move past the fact that they had kept so much from me, for so many years? Where, along a road so thickly shrouded with trees, was I supposed to take the next step?

I leaned against the trunk of a tree and flipped open my phone.

“Julia!” Zoe said when she answered. “How are you? Why haven’t you called?”

“Zoe, listen. I need to ask you something really important.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

“It’s personal.”

“Okay.”

“And you can tell me to shove off if it’s none of my business.”

“Are you trying to annoy me?”

I swallowed. “Do you think your mom is still cheating on your dad?”

I bit my lip hard as the silence reverberated through the phone. The sound of birds chirping grated on my ears, and for a moment I felt the urge to pee.

“Yeah,” Zoe said finally. It came out as an exhale, a breath. “I do.”

“And…” I hesitated, stepping on my toe. “And do you love her anyway?”

Another pause. “Yeah,” Zoe’s voice trembled. “I wish I didn’t, because it would be easier, but she’s my mom, you know?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I know.”



I stood in the same spot for a long time after hanging up with Zoe. I didn’t want to go back inside. Not yet. If I knew Sophie, she was probably telling Mom and Dad right now, right this minute, that she had finally told me everything. All of it. The real all of it. Who knew what would happen now? You either got through it, or you got stuck. We had moved through some of it. But there was a lot more to do. And I wasn’t sure about Mom and Dad, but I knew I didn’t want to get stuck.

Not again.

Not with so much ahead of me.

Maybe later, some night at dinner, we would be sitting around another table, talking and laughing, and wonder how we had gotten there from where we were now.





epilogue


The sound of feet came pattering down the hall just as I slipped on my dress.

“Aunt Julia!” Goober gasped. “Are you ready?”

I lifted her under her arms and swung her around as she screamed with joy. Her blond hair, cut in a pageboy style, floated like a little mushroom around her face, and the blue polka dots on her dress matched her eyes. “Almost! Are you?”

“Yes!” Goober shrieked. “Put me down!”

I obeyed. “I just need to fix my hair,” I said, picking up the brush from the bed.

Goober put her hands on her hips. Her shiny black patent leather shoes were planted firmly on the floor. “I don’t want you to leave,” she said suddenly. “I want you to stay in my room forever.”

I finished smoothing my hair into place and knelt down next to her. “I’ve been here all summer, Goobs. And now I have to go to school. But don’t worry. I’ll come back to visit on my breaks. And I’ll write you letters, okay? Would you like that?”

Goober nodded. “Yeah. I like letters. With pictures! Will you draw me pictures like the one you did in my room?”

I nodded. After Sophie and Goober had seen the finished mural on the kitchen wall, Sophie had offered to pay me to do one in Goober’s room. Goober—who was back for good—spent a long time telling me what she wanted me to paint. Finally, she settled on an underwater scene, complete with mermaids, dolphins, jellyfish, even a shark. It took me a lot longer to do the ocean wall than the kitchen wall, but when I was finished, I hadn’t felt that excited in a very long time. It was good. I knew it was good.