The Last Flight(79)
Her gaze traveled around the room, to the bookshelves crammed with books, a messy desk covered in papers, and a couple half-emptied packing boxes in the corner.
She took a deep breath and gave Liz a wobbly smile. “I don’t know where to start,” she told her.
Liz took Eva’s hands, warm and dry against Eva’s sweaty ones, and she felt a little calmer, Liz’s energy passing through her, making her heart rate slow. “Just pick a place and begin.”
“I’m in trouble,” Eva said, her voice low and tentative. And then she began. She told Liz about Wade. How he made her feel special. Eva looked into her lap and shrugged. “It was the first time anyone had made me feel that way. Interesting. Attractive. Like a normal person living a normal life.”
She described the meeting in the dean’s office, how no one showed up for her, and how she’d felt she had to accept their terms. “They had all the power. All the leverage. I was just a kid. It was easy for them to kick me out and pretend none of it happened.”
“Didn’t the university appoint an advocate for you?”
Eva had never even considered such a thing. She shook her head, and Liz looked disgusted. “You could have appealed. There are procedures that should have been followed.” But then Liz seemed to catch herself, because she said, “You couldn’t have known, and that doesn’t help you now. Go on.”
Eva thought about what came next, a decision so significant, her entire life cleaved in two. She let out a slow breath, dragging out the moment, knowing she’d have to step forward and tell the rest, but not wanting to. Terrified Liz wouldn’t understand. That what she’d said in her letter, about accepting Eva as she was, wouldn’t apply to what she was about to confess.
Eva was tempted to end the story there. Tell Liz she was on her way to Europe, had a layover, and wanted to stop by and say hi. But she knew Liz wouldn’t buy it. And eventually, Castro would show up at Liz’s door and tell her the truth. Eva needed to be the one to tell Liz. To make sure Liz understood why she’d done what she did. She prayed some of Liz’s forgiveness would come her way.
“That guy you saw me arguing with is named Dex. Or at least, that’s the name I know him by. Apparently, he has others.” Eva told her about Dex’s offer, about how she had no money. Nowhere to go, and how it seemed like a lifeline at the time.
As she spoke, Liz’s eyes grew wider, her expression more and more shocked. Eva knew what Liz expected to hear. Typical problems such as a lost job. An unwanted pregnancy. Maybe stolen money or property. But Eva could tell Liz didn’t expect this. She couldn’t bear the weight of Liz’s eyes, and she leaned forward, resting her head in her hands, covering her face, elbows on her knees.
Next to her, she felt Liz rise from the couch and move away from her. Eva held her breath, waiting for the sound of Liz opening her front door, a quiet voice asking Eva to leave. Or the sound of her picking up the phone to call the police. But instead she heard Liz move into the kitchen and open the refrigerator, the sound of ice, and she returned with a bottle of vodka and two glasses. She poured generously and took a drink. “Continue,” she said.
Eva sipped her vodka and told her the rest. Brittany. Agent Castro. The evidence she’d assembled, Castro’s news that she didn’t qualify for witness protection. And finally, that Dex was Fish. “I’m sure he knows by now that something is up. I was supposed to meet him yesterday, but I never showed.”
“You have to cooperate,” Liz said when Eva had finished telling her everything. “It’s the only thing you can do.” She finished her vodka and poured another glass, topping off Eva’s as well. “My God, Eva.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to,” Liz insisted. “This is how you get your life back.”
Eva tried not to lose her temper. “It doesn’t work like it does on TV. Even if Dex goes to jail, I’m still at risk. No matter where I go, his people will find me. I tried to make Agent Castro understand this, but he said his hands were tied.” Eva began to cry, great hiccupping sobs, and Liz wrapped her arms around her, holding her tight.
“You have to stop running,” she said into the top of Eva’s head. “Stop covering up lies with more lies.”
“It’s not that simple,” Eva said, pulling back and wiping her eyes. “Castro thinks I can testify and then somehow go back to my regular life. As if Dex would ever let me get that far. The only thing I can do is leave. Disappear and let Castro figure it out without me.”
She waited for Liz to argue with her, to threaten to turn her in. But Liz just said, “Okay. Let’s follow this line of thinking. Where will you go?”
Eva shrugged. “I’ll stay in New York for a while. Find a way to get a fake passport. I have money.”
Liz nodded. “A fake passport. And then you’ll leave the country?”
Eva knew what Liz was doing. She’d had a professor at Berkeley use this kind of Socratic method to help students reason out an argument. But she went along with it. “Yes.”
Liz rolled her glass between her hands, the ice settling toward the bottom. “You’ll be someone new. Someone without a past. What will you do with your time? Will you work? Buy some property? Rent? How will you explain yourself to others?”
“I’ll figure it out. Make something up.”