Ravage: An Apocalyptic Horror Novel(98)

“Look,” said Jan. “I hope there is another explanation. You seemed like an alright guy up until this point but, if you did kill Dave, then you deserve everything you get.”

Nick spat on the floor and began laughing. He was already tired of being accused of something he didn’t do. “Am I really being judged by a bank robber?”

Jan smiled. “Attempted bank robber. I never was any good at it. It’s a whole lot different than murder, anyway. I may have been guilty of a lot of things, but you’ve committed a mortal sin.”

Nick hissed. “Just f*ck off, Jan. I can do without your bullshit. I’m innocent.”

Jan stood up, his tall frame stretching almost to the low ceilings of the dim cellar. “Like I said, I hope that’s true, brother. Perhaps time will tell.”

“I’ll be ready and waiting for your apology,” said Nick. I was big enough to give you one when I judged you wrong.”

Jan nodded, but didn’t say anything. At the stairs leading upwards he turned back and looked at Renee. “You coming, brother?”

Renee shook his head.

Jan shrugged. “Fair enough. Come find me when you’re done. Wouldn’t feel right without you following me around everywhere.”

Renee nodded to Jan and then let his gaze fall on Nick.

Jan left the room.

“So, what the hell do you want?” Nick demanded of Renee. “It’s not like you’re here for the conversation. You don’t even talk.”

“Don’t talk is not the same as can’t talk, Nick.”

Nick almost fell off his chair. “Jeez! You can speak. What…why?”

“People take speech for granted, Nick. It is what separates us from the animals, and yet we treat our words with disinterest. We ignore their power.”

Hearing Renee talk was surreal. The man had a softly spoken Nigerian accent.

“I don’t get it,” Nick said. “You’ve been able to talk all along but you haven’t. Why?”

“Because more can be learned from listening, my friend. God told this to me.”

“God did?”

“Yes. I was once a very bad man, Nick. I was a charlatan, a trickster. I would use my words to fool people into giving me their money. I took people’s savings, I took people’s lives. And then I went to prison and my life changed.”

“You found God?”

“No, Nick. God found me.”

Nick grunted. Religion wasn’t his thing, but he played along. “How did he find you?”

“An old lady came to visit me in prison. I had taken her life savings by pretending to be from the gas board. After checking her home, I convinced her that her boiler was dangerous and that she needed a new one immediately. She handed over her cheque book and I emptied her account. When she came to see me, she asked me why I did what I did. I said, I did not know. But she told me the reason why. She told me that I was afraid. I was afraid of how hard life could be, so I took the easy way to avoid having to ever be responsible for anything. She told me that deep down I felt worthless and that she felt sorry for me. Then she told me that she forgave me.”

Nick sighed. “More fool her.”

Renee carried on, undeterred. “I asked this lady how she could forgive such a wicked man as I. Her reply was that God had given me great weakness so that I might one day find great strength. She told me to seek him out and find my place. Only then would I stop being afraid. And so I did as the old lady asked. I sought out the Lord.”

I learned of his ways, read his many teachings. I soon realised that words were precious and that I must use them no longer if I was to make my penance – if I was to find my great strength.”

“But why not speak?”

Renee smiled at Nick. “For many reasons, my friend. So that I could listen, learn, but mostly as punishment. Punishment for my sins so that I might learn about suffering and understand it. Only then could I defeat my fears. I decided that the next time I spoke it must be with purpose and a desire to do good. Only then could I hope to redeem myself.”

“You sound crazy,” Nick said. “Like one of those Southern Baptist Evangelists in America.”


“Perhaps. But this is a crazy world we are living in, no? Is it not crazier to be sane with all that we have seen?”

Nick shrugged his shoulders. Philosophy wasn’t of great interest to him. “So why are you talking to me now? What good can you do me?”

“I can tell you that I believe you did not kill that man, Dave.”

Nick sighed. It was actually a relief to hear that at least one person believed him, even if it was Renee.

“Deep down, I do not believe that Jan condemns you either. But he is afraid. He values his place here and would not want to lose it. He will go along with the group consensus…up to a point.”

“Why not you?” Nick asked, shifting in his seat.

“Because my mind is clear. I have sat and observed for many days. While the rest of you have bickered, I have watched. I see a man’s intentions better than most, and yours are not of murder.”

“No, they’re not,” Nick agreed. “But then who is responsible? Everyone was together.”

Renee shook his head and then got up off his chair. “I do not know. Whoever it is, they are benefitting from you being blamed, and by Dave being dead.”