Once Upon a Time: New Fairy Tales Paperback(129)

“I have every confidence in you, Ivan,” said the Lady.

“Me too,” said Blanchefleur.

Startled, Ivan looked down at the white cat. “May I have something

to eat before I go, um, dragon-slaying?” he asked. “We’ve been

traveling all morning.”

“Of course,” said the King. “Anything you want, my boy. Ask and

it will be yours.”

“Well then,” said Ivan, “I’d like some paper and ink.”

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Sir Albert had insisted on being fully armed, so he wore a suit of

armor and carried a sword and shield. Oswald was still in his ratty robe and carried what he said was a magic wand.

“A witch sold it to me,” he told Ivan. “It can transform anything it touches into anything else. She told me it had two transformations left in it. I used the first one to turn a rock into a sack of gold, but I lost the gold in a card game. So when I heard about this dragon, I figured I would use the second transformation to turn him into—I don’t know, maybe a frog? And then, I’ll be king. They give you all the gold you want, when you’re king.”

“What about the princess?” asked Ivan.

“Oh, she’s pretty enough. Although she looks bad-tempered.”

“And do you want to be king too?” Ivan asked Sir Albert.

“What? I don’t care about that,” he said through the visor of his

helmet. “It’s the dragon I’m after. I’ve been the King’s champion

three years running. I can out-joust and out-fight any man in the

kingdom. But can I slay a dragon, eh? That’s what I want to know.”

He bent his arms as though he were flexing his biceps, although they were hidden in his armor.

Ivan had not put on armor, but he had asked for a bow and a

quiver of arrows. They seemed inadequate, compared with a sword

and a magic wand.

The dragon may have been young, but he was not smal . Ivan, Oswald, and Sir Alfred stood in front of the bank building, looking at the damage he had caused. There was a large hole in the side of the building where he had smashed through the stone wal , directly into the vault.

“As the King’s champion, I insist that I be allowed to fight the

dragon first,” said Sir Albert. “Also, I outrank both of you.”

“Fine by me,” said Oswald.

“All right,” said Ivan.

Sir Albert clanked up the front steps and through the main

entrance. They heard a roar, and then a crash, as though a file cabinet had fallen over, and then nothing.

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After fifteen minutes, Oswald asked, “So how big do you think

this dragon is, anyway?”

“About as big as the hole in the side of the building,” said Ivan.

“See, the reason I’m asking,” said Oswald, “is that the wand has to actually touch whatever I want to transform. Am I going to be able

to touch the dragon without being eaten?”

“Probably not,” said Ivan. “They breathe fire, you know.”

“What about when they’re sleeping?” asked Oswald.

“Dragons are very light sleepers,” said Ivan. “He would smell you

before you got close enough.”

“How do you know?”

“It’s in the Encyclopedia of All Knowledge.”

“Oh, that thing,” said Oswald. “You know, I worked on that for a

while. Worst job I ever had. The pay was terrible, and I had to eat soup for every meal.”

Another half hour passed.

“I don’t think Sir Albert is coming out,” said Ivan. “You volunteered before me. Would you like to go next?”

“You know, I’m not so sure about going in after all,” said Oswald.

“I can’t very well rule a kingdom if I’m eaten, can I?”

“That might be difficult,” said Ivan.

“You go ahead,” said Oswald, starting to back away. “I think I’m

going to turn another rock into gold coins. That seems like a better idea.”

He turned and ran up the street, leaving Ivan alone in front of the bank. Ivan sighed. Well, there was no reason to wait any longer. He might as well go in now.