Monster Nation(33)

It was like the glow of the woman in the car, like the golden aura of human life. Except' no. Better to say that the human aura was like the light of the fallen star. The radiation that shot through him was altogether more pure and more real. It nurtured him, warmed him. He wanted to run up the slope and jump inside of that light. Surrender to it'become one with it.

As he got closer though the warmth he felt turned to heat. Real heat. He could feel it singing him, scorching every cell in his body. He took a step closer and tasted smoke at the back of his throat. He could see dark shapes ahead of him. Charred, burnt-out corpses, lumps of blackened meat in tattered remnants of clothing. He understood, in a wordless, primal way. The very thing that nourished him could consume him if he got too close. He was in a gray zone, a realm between comfort and instant annihilation and staying there meant pain.

No matter. He stepped backwards. It was enough to stand a respectable distance away and let the fallen star comfort him. It was enough to rest. To rest and watch the light show. It was all he ever wanted, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in life or in death.

He was so absorbed in the coruscating patterns of the light, transfixed like an acid freak staring into the depths of a lava lamp that he barely noticed when a yellow rectangle appeared up in the buildings above the star'a door opening, letting out human noise and movement. A man, a living man appeared there, a microphone in his hand. Dick bared his teeth by instinct but he felt no real need to attack the man. The light of the fallen star had given him that, a kind of serenity.

'Good evening,' he told them, his voice amplified by loudspeakers strung on poles in the circle of statuary reptiles. Some of the gathered dead, like Dick, looked up. Most did not. 'I see some new' new faces tonight. Welcome. I wish there was more that I could do for you. I truly do. You'll never know how sorry''

The voice broke off in a choking noise. A sob. The man went back inside his house. Music played over the loudspeakers, light Classical music'Mozart, although Dick could not have made that distinction. The music meant nothing to him. He already had everything he wanted.

The man came back the next night. Every night. The music changed. The pleas for forgiveness didn't. Dick grew irritated with the man for a while. Eventually he learned to ignore him, to not even look up when the lights went on up there.

It was a kind of perfect existence. He felt warm and sated. Dick could have stayed there forever.

In a dawn time without time, long after the music had finished, Dick stood rock still where he'd stopped the night before though dew ran down his face and his muscles were stiff and sore. None of it bothered him. The rising sun couldn't overpower the rays of life and happiness that shot through him. Yet something had changed, something simple, easy to miss. He studied the fallen star to try to detect what it might be and felt the star looking back at him.

It was more than aware of him. It was actively looking at him. It had a consciousness and even a kind of voice, though its words were made of light. Dick had been unable to understand the living man's address the night before but these words made perfect sense to him. In time it took shape, a certain fulgent form that conveyed the sense of a human body while being made entirely of rays of light. It reached out fingers that stretched across the slope and brushed the ruins of Dick's shoulders.

Yes, it thought, and Dick heard it sigh. There were others, it told him. Others that were closer or perhaps better equipped to perform the task (what task? It was a question, and Dick was beyond questions). Yet Dick possessed a certain quality of appearance. A supreme ugliness, a horror of aspect. His ruined body could inspire fear better than that of a dead man more whole.

Dick could hardly be offended by the thought. He was more honored than anything else, honored to be picked by this perfect form at the heart of the fallen star. In the middle of the source.

The form said it could use him. Dick lacked the will to refuse the request and anyway the form wasn't asking. He would do its will. Even the concept of choice was beyond him.

Some part of him, some deep part felt regret and longing but it didn't stop him from turning his back on the source. Without a word, without complaint, he turned and left the ridge and headed down into the valleys below.





Monster Nation





Chapter Six


Bottled water will be available free of charge. You are also entitled to pick up pre-cooked foods at the local grocery store. Menus and options will be chosen or approved by your local FEMA representative. Please let us know about any dietary restrictions. [FEMA Supplemental Broadcast for Relocated Individuals, 3/31/05]