His Sugar Baby(88)
Michael nodded and smiled. It was a gentler smile than she had ever seen from him, and it warmed her. There was nothing of the bad-ass, cold-bastard look about it.
He cleared his throat. “Catherine, I’ve been only half alive without you. I love you, you know.”
“This is your idea of taking our time?” she asked incredulously.
“I just wanted it out there. You don’t have to say anything. I’m not expecting you to.”
“That’s good.”
“I don’t know how things will end up, but if it happens for us—if later on—” Breaking off, he shook his head. “I might as well go for broke. If–if you’ll have me, Catherine, I swear to you that I will spend the rest of my life loving you. Chloe is a part of you, and I’ll love her, too.”
Cathy suddenly had a little problem breathing as something started breaking free inside of her, but she still managed to reply with credible calm. “I’m beginning to like the sound of this.”
“Catherine…” He looked away, his throat visibly working as he swallowed. “I’ve never been able to get it out of my head. I’ve got to know.” He turned his gaze back to her, a sudden fierce intensity lighting his eyes. “I understand why you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. But I’ve got to know this! When you found out that you were pregnant, that you were carrying my child, why didn’t you have an abortion?”
Cathy felt her own throat close up. It took her a moment before she could speak. “After fighting so hard for Chloe’s life, how could I have just thrown another precious child away?” She couldn’t bear to look at him, but she saw when his hand crossed the distance between them and covered hers. His gentle hold was comforting in its warmth. She almost felt his sigh, it was so deep.
“I always wanted a family. I thought Morgan would, too. She did not tell me when she became pregnant. Or that she had an abortion. I found out only when I confronted her over her affair.”
Cathy bit her lip. In his voice, she could hear the depth of his pain over that deeper betrayal. “I am so sorry, Michael.”
“It was the biggest regret of my life. Until I lost you.”
The stark words hung in the air.
She shook her head. She had been forced to come to terms about her own responsibility in their relationship. “It wasn’t all your fault. I was out of my mind, about Chloe.”
They did not speak again for a long time. There were too many raw emotions and unresolved issues swirling between them. After awhile, though, it was not an uncomfortable silence. Eventually, he asked, very softly, “Did you really say that you love me?”
“I might have.” Cathy looked up quickly. She watched as his mouth quirked up on one side in a specter of his old smile. She sighed dramatically. “All right, I did! I don’t know why though. All that kinky sex probably had something to do with it!”
Michael’s expression altered so swiftly that she was shocked. He lifted his hand off hers, breaking physical contact with her. Her flippancy evaporated. She had hurt him without trying, her unthinking words reminding him of things of the past that they would both have to work hard at putting behind them. She looked down as she tightened her hands together in her lap. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean—I just don’t know how to handle this.”
There was a short silence before Michael exhaled audibly. “Catherine, do you honestly believe we have anything left to start over with?”
“I don’t know.” She lifted her eyes to his shadowed gaze and saw an expression that she had never seen before, one mingled with hope, despair, and humbleness.
He reached out a forefinger, barely brushing the surface of the wide gold bangle bracelet on her wrist. Very quietly, he said, “I remember the inscription inside. Is what we have enough? Just for now?”
While he waited beside her and watched her face, Cathy thought about what he had asked. It would not be easy. They would have to work it out together, but they had already held on to love. At last, she nodded slowly. With a curious lightening of her spirit, she lifted her face to the sunshine and welcomed the warmth on her skin. “Oh, I think so, Michael. I really, really think so.”
THE END