Gone Girl(77)

By the time we left for Missouri, I was just pissed. I was ashamed of the memory of me – the scuttling, scraping, hunchbacked toadie of a man I’d turned into. So I wasn’t romantic; I wasn’t even nice.

‘Also, I need a list of people who may have harmed Amy, who may have had something against her.’

‘I should tell you, it seems Amy tried to buy a gun earlier this year.’

‘The cops know?’

‘Yes.’

‘Did you know?’

‘Not until the guy she tried to buy from told me.’

He took exactly two seconds to think. ‘Then I bet their theory is she wanted a gun to protect herself from you,’ he said. ‘She was isolated, she was scared. She wanted to believe in you, yet she could feel something was very wrong, so she wanted a gun in case her worst fear was correct.’

‘Wow, you’re good.’

‘My dad was a cop,’ he said. ‘But I do like the gun idea – now we just need someone to match it to besides you. Nothing is too far out. If she argued with a neighbor constantly over a barking dog, if she was forced to rebuff a flirty guy, whatever you got, I need. What do you know about Tommy O’Hara?’

‘Right! I know he called the tip line a few times.’

‘He was accused of date-raping Amy in 2005.’

I felt my mouth open, but I said nothing.

‘She was dating him casually. There was a dinner date at his place, things got out of hand, and he raped her, according to my sources.’

‘When in 2005?’

‘May.’

It was during the eight months when I’d lost Amy – the time between our New Year’s meeting and my finding her again on Seventh Avenue.

Tanner tightened his tie, twisted a diamond-studded wedding band, assessing me. ‘She never told you.’

‘I haven’t heard a single thing about this,’ I said. ‘From anyone. But especially not from Amy.’

‘You’d be surprised, the number of women who still find it a stigma. Ashamed.’

‘I can’t believe I—’

‘I try never to show up to one of these meetings without new information for my client,’ he said. ‘I want to show you how serious I am about your case. And how much you need me.’

‘This guy could be a suspect?’

‘Sure, why not,’ Tanner said too breezily. ‘He has a violent history with your wife.’

‘Did he go to prison?’

‘She dropped the charges. Didn’t want to testify, I assume. If you and I decide to work together, I’ll have him checked out. In the meantime, think of anyone who took an interest in your wife. Better if it’s someone in Carthage, though. More believable. Now—’ Tanner crossed a leg, exposed his bottom row of teeth, uncomfortably bunched and stained in comparison with his perfect picket-fence top row. He held his crooked teeth against his upper lip for a moment. ‘Now comes the harder part, Nick,’ he said. ‘I need total honesty from you, it won’t work any other way. So tell me everything about your marriage, tell me the worst. Because if I know the worst, then I can plan for it. But if I’m surprised, we’re f*cked. And if we’re f*cked, you’re f*cked. Because I get to fly away in my G4.’

I took a breath. Looked him in the eyes. ‘I cheated on Amy. I’ve been cheating on Amy.’

‘Okay. With multiple women or just one?’

‘No, not multiple. I’ve never cheated before.’

‘So, with one woman?’ Bolt asked, and looked away, his eyes resting on a watercolor of a sailboat as he twirled his wedding band. I could picture him phoning his wife later, saying, Just once, just once, I want a guy who’s not an *.

‘Yes, just one girl, she’s very—’

‘Don’t say girl, don’t ever say girl,’ Bolt said. ‘Woman. One woman who is very special to you. Is that what you were going to say?’

Of course it was.

‘You do know, Nick, special is actually worse than – okay. How long?’

‘A little over a year.’

‘Have you spoken to her since Amy went missing?’

‘Yes, on a disposable cell phone. And in person once. Twice. But—’

‘In person.’

‘No one has seen us. I can swear to that. Just my sister.’

He took a breath, looked at the sailboat again. ‘And what does this—What’s her name?’

‘Andie.’

‘What is her attitude about all this?’

‘She’s been great – until the pregnancy … announcement. Now I think she’s a little … on edge. Very on edge. Very, uh … needy is the wrong word …’

‘Say what you need to say, Nick. If she’s needy, then—’

‘She’s needy. Clingy. Needs lots of reassurance. She’s a really sweet girl, but she’s young, and it’s, it’s been hard, obviously.’

Tanner Bolt went to his minibar and pulled out a Clamato. The entire fridge was filled with Clamato. He opened the bottle and drank it in three swallows, then dabbed his lips with a cloth napkin. ‘You will need to cut off, completely and forever, all contact with Andie,’ he said. I began to speak, and he aimed a palm at me. ‘Immediately.’