Forbidden Honor (Dragon Royals #1)(68)

The song ended, and I disentangled myself from him. “I’m going to try to win over your friends.”

“You don’t need to do that.” He frowned, trying to catch my hand again. “I like to annoy them.”

I smiled at him over my shoulder as I made my way toward Lynx. Talisyn stared after me, a disappointed look on his face, but he was immediately swarmed by other women. He ignored them in favor of joining Arren, who handed him a glass of brandy without ever taking his watchful eyes off me.

Lynx didn’t hate me when I was in Honor’s form, which was a very strange shift from when I was being Lucien. He seemed to be the tenderest and geekiest of their group, although given that he was a tall, muscular, bronze golden twin, calling him the dork didn’t seem quite right. But I had a feeling that if anyone had a kinder, humbler side, besides Jaik himself—who kept his kinder side tightly bandaged by that harsh exterior—it was Lynx.

“Talisyn is exhausting,” I said with a laugh as I joined Lynx and Branok. “I’m going to go for a walk in the garden. Does one of you want to come with me?”

“No,” Arren said from behind me. I was surprised he’d joined us. “I don’t like gardens and I don’t like you.”

Ah, he’d joined us so he could insult me. That made much more sense.

“You’re always such a grouch,” I said with a smile. “Do some women find that endearing?”

No,” Lynx said dryly. “No, they don’t.”

Arren glared at him but let it pass. Branok started to say something, but Lynx cut him off, resting his hand on Branok’s arm.

Branok thought that I was a spy this whole time. Maybe I didn’t want to be in the garden alone with him. If he tried to quietly murder me and leave my body under the rosebushes, I was just as likely to quietly murder him. Branok and I probably shouldn’t be left alone.

“I’ll take a walk with you,” Lynx said. “I heard the grounds are nice.”

“Have you been here before?”

He offered his elbow, and I looped my hand over his corded forearm.

“Not since I was a boy. My father used to come here on business quite often.”

“You’d think I would remember you,” I said, “unless it was before my time.”

“It might have been while you were still in hiding with your mother.”

A familiar ache shot through me. My father had planted the rumor that I was the daughter of his mistress, and my mother had gone along with it. I could never inherit, but the lie still protected me, gave me some sort of place in our world.

The story had made him a bit of a laughingstock in the court. But my father was always willing to do whatever was necessary, to do what was right, even if no one else understood what he was doing. Sometimes, I doubted I’d ever measure up to the legacy my parents had left me.

“So where is Jaik tonight?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Lynx said, “He went to see his father, and that’s never a good time for anyone.”

“Do you all have bad relationships with your fathers?”

“It varies. You know how grumpy Arren is, but his bad moods are largely genetic. His father’s a taciturn, stern asshole, but he loves his son and his wife. Arren’s had a hard time since his mother died.”

It was hard to imagine Arren feeling other emotions besides anger and irritation, the two I saw on display. Trying to imagine him grieving, burying his face in his hands, shoulders heaving, gave me pause. “I lost my mom too. It’s so hard.”

“Your adoptive mother?”

“She’s my mother, even though she didn’t birth me. But I like to make it very clear that I’m not related to Alis.”

“It’s funny, because you two look like you could be mother and daughter, and yet in every encounter I’ve had with her, she certainly seems like she’s nothing like you.”

“Oh and what am I like?” My voice rose on a teasing note. It wasn’t as if these guys liked me either.

“I don’t always know what to make of you. None of us do.”

“I’m not trying to trick you, Lynx. I’m just trying to live my life.”

He chewed his lower lip, gazing down at me thoughtfully. “It’s not your fault. But as a general rule, we don’t really like anyone except for other dragon royals. So your sudden presence in our lives has been… unexpected.”

“Why don’t you like anyone else?” No wonder my description to the serving girl had resonated.

“Well, the jealousy that other shifters feel make them hate us, which makes it difficult to ever trust them.”

He’d said the words as if everyone else’s jealousy was a fact of life. “Why do you think they’re all jealous of you? Why would a bear or a wolf think that it was better to be a dragon? Maybe some people like being who they are. They don’t need to be something else.”

Lynx smiled at me a little bit indulgently. He clearly thought that it was best to be a dragon. “And do you like who you are?”

“I’ve got some pretty mixed feelings about it,” I admitted. “It isn’t what I expected.”

“What did you expect to be?” Lynx stopped, studying the night-blooming roses, their fragrant white blooms unfurled after midnight.