Darling Rose Gold(38)

When Dad was finished, he rubbed his hands together. “Okay, Rose, we have five cheese options for tonight’s meal: American, Cheddar, Jack, Swiss, and provolone. You’ve got yellow or Dijon mustard, as well as ketchup, mayonnaise, and barbecue sauce. And here we have tomatoes, lettuce, and red onion. The world is your oyster. Go nuts.”

I didn’t know where to start or which options to choose. I watched Kim make a burger for Anna before serving herself. Billy Jr. was halfway through his first sandwich by the time I picked out a patty and bun. I marveled at how quickly the kid could put away food. I hoped he’d take seconds so I could too. I carefully sliced a tomato and pulled a piece of lettuce from the head.

“Have you been to Indiana before, Rose?” Dad asked.

“No, first time,” I said. Everyone kept stealing glances at me when they thought I wasn’t looking. I pretended not to notice, piling red onion atop the tomato.

“Well, welcome, then,” Dad said. “We’re all so glad you could make it.”

They ate in awkward silence for a few minutes. I wondered if they were always this quiet, or if I made them uncomfortable.

Kim spoke up. “How was the drive? Not much to see along the way, was there?”

“It wasn’t bad,” I said. “A lot of cornfields, but this was my first road trip, so it was kind of fun. I bought Doritos and played the alphabet game.”

“How nice,” Kim said at the same time Billy Jr. muttered, “By yourself?”

I squirted ketchup and mustard onto my bun, spreading them evenly with a kitchen knife. I arranged each ingredient just so, as though my burger might be on the cover of a food magazine.

Billy Jr. stared at me, incredulous. “Just eat it already,” he said under his breath.

“Leave Rose alone,” Dad said. He watched me expectantly.

I cleared my throat and picked up the sandwich, inhaling the scent of chargrilled meat. I opened my mouth wide and put the burger inside, making sure I got a little piece of every ingredient. I suspected the first bite was the most important. After that, the burger would become less art, more fuel.

I closed my teeth around the sandwich and bit hard. I let the mixture roll around inside my mouth: the tanginess of the mustard, the crunch of the lettuce, and the salty, juicy patty. The burger was absolutely delicious. They’d gone to all this trouble, just for me.

I made satisfied noises, even dancing my head around a little to show my pleasure. Dad smiled at Kim. After a minute of watching me, they went back to the food on their own plates. We all ate quietly.

“So your mom is in prison?” Sophie said flatly.

“Sophie,” Dad scolded, turning to Kim for support. But she was looking at me, waiting for my response.

I cleared my throat. “About two years now.”

“You must hate her, huh?” Billy Jr. said, eyes trained on his mom. When Kim didn’t discourage him, he added, “If everything you say is true.”

“This isn’t appropriate for the dinner table,” Dad snapped, an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there when he chided Sophie.

Sophie flashed Billy Jr. a look. Neither of them acknowledged our father. I felt sorry for Dad and even sorrier for myself. I bit my lip.

In a low tone, Kim spoke up. “They’re just trying to learn more about Rose Gold.”

“What I don’t get,” Sophie said, “is why you didn’t just eat or brush your teeth. Anna knew how to brush her own teeth a year ago.”

I managed to stop my jaw from dropping, but stared at Sophie, unsure how the conversation had taken such a fast turn. Mom always said you had to give bullies a taste of their own medicine. And sure, I would have liked to smash Sophie’s burger in her face, but hadn’t I decided I wanted to be nothing like my mother? Besides, Dad and Kim would never let me join their ranks if I wasn’t nice to their kids. Maybe having a sister meant wanting to shove food in her face 60 percent of the time.

Anna grinned to show me her teeth. “I floss too. Right, Mommy?”

“That’s right, honey.” The tension on Kim’s face morphed into pity. “Rose, we were so sorry to hear about all that happened to you growing up.”

I smiled tightly. “Thanks, Kim.” I hoped they would take a hint and realize I didn’t want to discuss the past. I had been recovering steadily for almost three years, but people still liked me more as a weakling than as the healthy woman I’d become. I needed a subject change, fast.

I gave Billy Jr. my warmest smile. “I’ve always wanted a brother.”

“Half brother,” Sophie mumbled to her plate.

My cheeks flamed. Dad turned to Kim again, expecting her to say something, but she took a long drink of milk.

“A sister too,” I added, thinking maybe Sophie felt left out.

“Half sister,” Billy Jr. corrected me.

I couldn’t win with these two. They were like Cinderella’s evil stepsisters.

“Enough,” Dad barked at Billy Jr. “Is this the kind of man you want to grow up to be? One who bullies people weaker than you?”

Billy Jr. lowered his eyes.

Dad gave me an apologetic glance, then turned to Sophie. “How was practice today?”

Sophie launched into a ten-minute explanation of the new drills their basketball coach had the team do. I had no idea what any of it meant, but I was relieved not to have all five Gillespies staring at me, at least for a little while. I tried to appear interested while I finished my burger. This was not how I’d expected dinner to go.