Boring Girls(9)

My second class was art, which is a subject I always did well in, but when I walked into the classroom I was faced with my usual dilemma of where exactly I was going to sit. See, when you’re a loner, it’s easy to find a seat in a normal class with individual desks. You just plunk yourself down as far away from the “cool kid desks” as possible. But in an art classroom, there aren’t any desks. It’s all tables where four kids can sit and you end up sharing your space with them. Last year hadn’t been bad; I had shared with three girls who were friends with each other, but who weren’t shitty people either. They had ignored me all year and talked amongst themselves, and I had half-heartedly eavesdropped on their conversations and worked on my stuff. The teacher liked me, and I did well in the class, even though it was boring to me. It was the same stuff I had done with my mother: paint an apple. Draw a leaf. I was doing that shit when I was five. This year, art was an elective, so I was hopeful there would be fewer *s. I chose an empty table in the far corner at the back next to the window.

The class filled up, and no one sat at my table. Fewer kids this year, I happily noted, even though there was a table with a bunch of guys I could have done without. Some of the Brandi bunch, who greeted each other with stupid handshakes and high-fives, as though they were some exclusive society. Which I guess they sort of were. It’s always been a mystery to me how people who are so horrible end up finding each other and don’t seem to mind being cruel to everyone else.

The teacher, same as last year, Mr. Lee, saw me sitting by myself. I guess he felt bad for me, because he made a point of saying, “Rachel, I love the new look.”

I knew that he was trying to make me feel special, because he probably thought I felt upset at having to sit by myself, you know, make the poor girl feel good about herself, but I f*cking hated that because all it did was draw attention to me, and I was trying to be unnoticed and left alone.

Of course, Mr. Lee’s comment drew a few guffaws from Brandi’s buddies. Fine by me. Nothing new. At least this year, I would have a whole table to myself and I could look out the window.

Just before class began, a light-haired girl came into the room, looking flustered. She scanned the room, presumably for a seat, and then hurried to my table, sitting in the chair kitty-corner from me. She didn’t look like one of the *s, or like she knew anyone in the class. I hadn’t seen her last year, and she was just wearing a boring old smock dress. Sure, I’d share a table.

Mr. Lee began to talk about what the year would cover. Colour theory and different mediums that we would use for our projects. This year would be more technical, apparently, which was fine by me. I already knew most of this stuff. At least this class would go well.

When the bell rang, I started gathering up my notes. Next up was math. I wondered who’d be in that class. See, this is what really sucks about the first day of school. It’s a whole new year, with new classes, and you get to see who you’re going to have to deal with for the rest of it, who’s going to make fun of you when you walk in and out, who’s going to snicker every time you’re called on to answer a question. And who you’re likely to end up with at the dreaded moment when the teacher says, inevitably, “Partner up!” I was always one of the people who would have to raise their hand when the teacher asked who didn’t have a partner. I would end up working with some nerd, but I never minded that part of it. Nerds are smart, and I’m pretty smart too, and we’d get a good mark on whatever the assignment was, and there was no chit-chat bullshit. What bothered me was that moment of having to raise your hand and declare to the class that you are a loser with no friends. I don’t understand why teachers do that. It’s so damn segregating. They may as well just say, “Raise your hand if you have no friends and no one here likes you.”

I was mulling this over when I noticed that the girl I’d been sitting with was staring at me expectantly. I realized she must’ve said something, but I’d been so lost in thought I hadn’t heard it. I cleared my throat like some nervous public speaker. “Uh, pardon?”

“Oh, I just said, ‘See you tomorrow,’” she repeated, and smiled. I sat there as she gathered her things and walked out of the classroom.

As I left the room a few moments later, I kicked myself for not having smiled back or replied in some pleasant way.

xXx

The rest of the classes were the usual. The only class I shared with Brandi was math, a blessing because math is not a “social” class. It’s dead quiet with a serious teacher, usually. And she didn’t even bother making fun of me when she saw me, because she was trying to leech on to some guy she thought was hot.