Boring Girls(78)

That first night had definitely been the biggest crowd. We were well received at each show, and no one else messed with me — even though I was steeled for it. I met everyone’s eyes confrontationally, almost daring people to be *s, but no one was. Most people were out to see Torn Bowel, but no one was flat-out rude. We sold enough CDs to pay for our hotel rooms, with a little leftover for Edgar’s parents’ loan.

Everyone in the other band was great, but I couldn’t help but fuss a little bit about Jamie’s demeanour. He was super friendly to me, as they all were, but it had definitely changed, and I wondered if I had imagined something more that first day than had actually been there. At the end of it, everyone exchanged phone numbers and email addresses and there was a lot of talk about touring again, playing more shows, and everyone was hugging each other goodbye. It was nice to feel as though we’d made friends with another band.

xXx

It was only four days, but I was completely exhausted. I felt like I could have slept for a week. My parents were relieved that I was home in one piece, and of course they and Melissa wanted to hear everything about my rock tour. I told them everything as PG as I could. There hadn’t been any “debauchery” or craziness at all, so there wasn’t much to omit. I did, however, leave out the part about the puke.

Which, apparently, had been extremely important.

Socks emailed Fern, Edgar, and me a link. “This is a music magazine from Port Claim,” he wrote. “They have an online version. PJ’s going to mail me a hard copy. Thought you guys would want to check this out.”

I clicked on the link. Stunner Magazine: Port Claim’s Alternative Music Magazine. Stunner, huh? Laaaaame. But I scrolled down and found a review of our show with Torn Bowel.

METAL AND VOMIT AT KLUB KLANG

Thursday night in Port Claim doesn’t offer much for people looking to go out and have a good time. But last Thursday there was a lineup outside of Klub Klang on Royal Winter Avenue, one of the city’s oldest metal bars. Newer clubs opening in the city have resulted in touring bands and events taking a pass on Klang, preferring instead to play at what could be described as trendier and more contemporary venues, but some of us remember when Klub Klang was the only place in the Port to go for a guaranteed good night of music and headbanging.

Local favourites Torn Bowel have played here a few times over the last year, amassing a larger and larger fan base, and Thursday night was no exception. When I arrived, a good-sized line had formed outside, larger than their last gig here four months ago, proving what we all already know: Torn Bowel is destined for greatness.

Along for the ride was a band I had not heard of before, Keeleford’s Colostomy Hag. This band is comprised of four very talented musicians and performers, and much to my surprise, two of them are female. I hate to say it, but when I saw these two girls onstage I could not help but roll my eyes. I did not know what to expect, and neither did the crowd at Klang that night, but we were all in for a surprise. I admit that I had dismissed them when I saw them, and almost immediately was force-fed my words.

I have not heard a female voice in metal that sounds quite like raven-haired vocalist Rachel’s. Her uniqueness and power onstage paired with her small stature and cutesy outfit is a combination to be admired. The pale-haired guitarist puts many others to shame with her talent. The entire venue was impressed with the band’s skill, and their songs are not another uninspired rehash of greats like DED and Bloodvomit. There is a melody and uniqueness present that must be heard, and thankfully I picked myself up a copy of their debut CD, Scream into This.

When petite growler Rachel sent a heckler sprawling and actually proceeded to vomit all over him in front of two hundred cheering supporters, she transformed herself into somewhat of a new hero in the Port’s metal scene. The band must be seen to be believed, and Thursday night proved the unpredictable and talented nature of Colostomy Hag. Another legendary moment at Klang, and Torn Bowel had not even taken the stage yet . . .

We’d gotten press. And more than a brief mention as an opening band. We’d made close to five hundred dollars in CD sales. If we could sell five hundred dollars’ worth of CDs in four days, imagine if we went on a real tour? For a few months? My mind reeled.

School was starting in a few days. My last year of high school. Craig had already graduated, and I figured I would just eat lunch with Josephine, as usual, and do my own thing. Get through it as fast as possible, agree with everything my parents said, and figure out how to tell them that I was going to take a year off before college. I wanted to talk to Fern and Edgar, see how they felt, if they wanted to plan a tour again, maybe for next summer even though that was a year away, see if their parents wanted them to go to college and how they were going to deal with that. There was a lot to think about.