Bitter Falls (Stillhouse Lake)(77)

“And you, my brothers,” Tom says. “Thank you for welcoming young Brother Connor into our number. He’s only here as our guest, but I know he will appreciate your charity to a stranger. Now, I know you’re all wondering what happened last night; you know we went out to retrieve our sister Carol, but as you also know, the demons in the world are clever. It’s been three long years, and she’s still hidden from us, along with our precious child. But with God’s help, and the continuous prayers of our saints, we are going to find them. Very soon.” He beams a smile right at me, and it’s like getting hit with a spotlight. “With God’s help, and Brother Connor’s.”

I want to yell back that I’m not here to help him, I’ve been kidnapped, but something tells me to keep quiet. Lanny wouldn’t, she’d be kicking and screaming and maybe she’d be right to do that. But I want to see what he’s planning.

This has to be about the case that Mom was working, the one with the missing young man. She’d talked about a woman named Carol.

Don’t tell him anything, Mom. I know they’re using me to get to her. And it’s going to work, too, because if my mom has a weak spot, it’s me and Lanny. And Sam, but he’d probably agree that it’s more about us. I’m here to make Mom give up that lady who escaped.

“Brothers and sisters, we will pray about this tonight after work’s done. But for now I want you to take young Brother Connor under your care, make him feel at home, and show him our true fellowship. We’ll have a dinner this evening, Sister Harmony. A real feast to welcome him to Bitter Falls.”

A tall, blonde woman on the other side of the aisle in the front row raises her head and nods, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s probably Mom’s age, maybe a little younger. I guess she’s in charge of food or something. And right on cue my stomach rumbles. I don’t know how I can be hungry at a time like this, but I am, and I can’t help that. Maybe I shouldn’t eat anything here. Isn’t there some Greek story about how if you eat and drink in the underworld, you can’t leave?

Father Tom talks a little bit more, but it’s all Bible verses and explaining what they mean, and I don’t really listen; what he’s saying about them isn’t what I learned in Sunday school. He has a calm, deep voice, though, and it rises and falls almost like he’s singing. It’s kind of relaxing, and I fall into sort of a trance listening to it.

Then it’s over.

I’m a little surprised when I realize people are moving. The women and kids are heading straight for the door, walking single file, while the men stand and wait; Father Tom is sitting in his chair talking to one of the guys who was in the RV with us, the one who drove, not the one who shocked Sam. I’m concentrating hard on them, so it comes as a surprise when I realize someone’s holding a hand out to me. I blink and look up. It’s one of the men who’s been standing next to me. “Good to have you here, Brother Connor,” he says, and shakes my hand. He claps a hand on my shoulder like we’re friends, and then before I tell him I’m not his friend, that I shouldn’t even be here, he’s replaced by another, shorter man, who says, “Welcome, you’re safe here.” They’re all coming at me, beaming big smiles and offering handshakes. “God bless you for visiting us,” one of them says, like I had any choice. I know this has been set up, that they’re under orders to make me feel like a guest. It’s like they just accept Father Tom’s fake reality without question. I usually know when somebody’s saying things to me just to say it, but every one of these men who talks to me seems actually happy to see me.

I try saying, “I want to leave,” to one of them. He just smiles and nods and does that shoulder-clap thing, then moves aside for the next one.

After ten of them, I start losing track. They all say slightly different things, but one thing’s constant: they smile at me. They seem happy. They do that shoulder-touch thing.

It’s really hard, after a while, not to smile back. I don’t want to smile, but when people do that, when they’re beaming all that happy at you . . . it’s weird. It tells some part of you that you ought to seem happy too.

I don’t like that I want to smile.

I catch one of the young women—my age, I think, or pretty close—giving me a quick look as she files out of the church. She’s a pretty dark-haired girl, shorter than me. I watch her while some new guy tells me how glad they are to have me here. She’s at the end of the line of women leaving the church.

She turns and looks at me again, and I wonder—I wonder if she’s trying to tell me something. Maybe she can help me. Maybe I can find a real friend here who can help me get Sam free.

I can almost hear my sister mocking me. You just want to think that because she’s pretty.

Once the girl’s out the door, the men start to leave, too, and by the time the last one shakes my hand I feel exhausted with all the welcomes. I didn’t see Father Tom leave, but his chair’s empty now. I don’t know where to go, so I follow the men as they leave the building.

The girl I noticed is standing near the steps, talking to an older woman. She shoots me another glance and smiles. It’s fast, but it feels like all the air just got sucked out of the world. I feel my ears pop, or I think I do. My skin goes hot and cold at the same time, and I nearly miss a step.

It’s that kind of smile.