All the Dark Places(97)

I’ve kept my job at the bookstore. Hayes and Alice have been wonderful, Kim too. Her baby, a boy, was born at the end of June, full term. Kim and Josh are working on their marriage, and he was there to support her through her delivery. Elise and Scott have also made a point of checking on me without seeming to.

And of course, Corrine.

I sold the mountain house. I thought it would be difficult with what had happened there, but I received an offer right away. I have enough in the bank, along with Jay’s life insurance, so that I can keep our house and not worry about paying the bills.

I stand and lean my hands on the porch railing, inhale the autumn air. In the spring, where the garage used to stand, my new flower garden will be ripe with pink peonies, my favorite. I have a lot to look forward to. I think about Jay every day, and that gives me strength. I place my hand on my growing belly and smile. His daughter will be born in January. That will help me through the anniversary of his death. In March, the fertility clinic called me and asked if I wanted to go through another IVF cycle. We had two embryos left. I never hesitated. There are no guarantees in this life, but that’s no reason not to try. After a positive pregnancy test, Corrine held my hand at the ultrasound. Sadly, one embryo didn’t implant, but one did, one little girl held on, and sometimes that’s all it takes.