All the Dark Places(61)
“Me neither,” I say. But that’s not true. From the moment I put on the uniform, I knew I’d found my home. My brother Jimmy had wanted to be a cop. He, Danny, and I were the youngest of the McMahon kids and spent a lot of time playing together. Cops and robbers was one of our favorite pastimes. They always made me be the robber, and I’ve probably been arrested more times than your average real criminal. Anyway, Jimmy died before he was old enough for the dream to become a reality, and I kind of picked up the mantle. I sometimes feel as if I’m living life for both of us.
“I’ll be sixty-two in August,” Joe says, as though he’s amazed such a thing could happen. I know how he feels.
“I was sixty last November.”
He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “You look great, Rita,” he says, and smiles. “Any thoughts of retiring?”
“No,” I say quickly. “What would I do with my time?”
“No man in your life?”
“Not presently.” It’s been a while, but I don’t tell him that. Despite Collin’s efforts to find me a date, I’ve been in a lull lately. Don’t know why exactly. I fiddle with my collar and change the subject. “Besides, Joe. I like what I do. I don’t feel sixty, do you?”
He shakes his head, takes a long sip of his beer. “Not most days.”
I stretch my legs under the table and feel a small ache in my hip. “I had a big case last fall. I had to kick in a door. Hostage situation.”
He grins. “No shit?”
“Well, the door was pretty well rotted, but I kicked the fucker in.”
We laugh. He salutes me with his beer. I pick up my wine and drain my glass.
*
When I get back to my place, enter the foyer, Collin is just about to head upstairs, a small Tupperware in his hand.
“Hey, Rita.” He looks guilty, of what I have no idea.
“What you got there?” Usually he’s coming down the stairs with a Tupperware full of food for me.
“Oh, this. Uh, Mrs. Antonelli invited me for dinner. André’s out of town this week, that convention I was telling you about.”
“Thought you were going with him? Catch some rays in Miami?”
He sighs. “I was, but Margo got the flu.”
She’s their café manager. “Huh, so you had to stay behind.”
“Yeah. Anyway, Mrs. A’s son canceled on her, and she had all this gnocchi.” He raises the container.
“Good?” I feel a dart of jealousy. Never had kids, and since Collin and André have lived upstairs, Collin and I have gotten close.
“Yes. Amazing. I asked her for her recipe, but she yelled at me. I guess old Italian ladies don’t use recipes.” He smiles. “She told me she’d teach me to make it, though.”
“Well, that’s nice. But I’ve had your gnocchi. I don’t think she can teach you anything.”
He tips his head. “It’s better than mine, Rita. I was so bummed.” His brow furls. “Where were you? Working late on that psychologist case?”
I fish my keys out of my purse, turn to my door. “Yeah. It’s gotten pretty complicated.”
“It’s really late. I keep telling you, you work too hard. Oh, I met Mrs. Antonelli’s son, Leo, the other day. He’s about your age. Pretty handsome, Rita, and he’s divorced.”
I try not to laugh. “I don’t need you and André fixing me up, Collin. I told you that.”
“Everybody can use some help now and then.”
I glance back at him. “We’ll see.”
“Hey, André made a lemon cream cake before he left. You want me to run some down?”
I take a deep breath. I could use a little dessert to absorb the wine. “Yeah. That would be great.”
“Be right back,” he says, and runs up the stairs.
CHAPTER 45
Molly
IN THE GRAY OF DAWN, JUST AS THE SUN STARTS TO COME UP, SADIE AND I head down the apartment building’s back stairs. The Uber I’d called, a small black sedan, is idling at the curb. Sadie and I jump in, and the young man at the wheel mumbles a “Good morning.” My stomach is in knots as we head to the highway. We’re going home.
The house looks forlorn as Sadie and I make our way inside. It’s chilly and echoes with emptiness. I usually feel a sense of calm when I walk through my front door, but not now. The letter from Keith Russell has soiled it, soiled Jay. Everything I’d held on to is broken.
Upstairs I pack a suitcase, stow my toiletries in a small bag. Glance around to see that I’ve got everything I need from up here. Downstairs, I gather Sadie’s stuff, wrap her service dog vest around her as she stands patiently. Then I slip my laptop in its carry bag, and we’re ready.
I’ve been driving Jay’s Mercedes lately, but I decide to take my Subaru instead. As I back down the driveway, I call Corrine, put the phone on speaker.
“Where are you?” she asks. “I just went in to check on you.”
“I’m home, or I was home. I’m on the road now.” Sadie is panting quietly, sitting in the passenger’s seat. I reach over and lower the heat. “Look, Corrine. I need to get away for a while.”
“What do you mean?”