A Mother Would Know (74)

I hadn’t made good on that vow.

I try to sit up, but my body doesn’t cooperate. My head feels like it weighs a hundred pounds, and my eyelids are so heavy I struggle to keep them open. The room is fuzzy like I’m looking at it through a glass of water.

“Mom is having an episode,” comes the response. “I’m handling it. Don’t worry.”

Even muffled, I recognize the voices.

Kendra.

Hudson.

“What does that mean? And why is she locked in?”

“It’s for her own good. It’s happened before. You shouldn’t worry too much.”

“I am worried about it. She’s not herself, Kendra,” Hudson says. “What did you do to her?”

I listen intently, grateful that Hudson doesn’t seem to be buying any of this. If he sees the truth, then surely he’ll get me out of here.

I picture the odd expression on Kendra’s face when she appeared in the mirror. I’d been clinging to the dresser, trying to stay upright. At first I was relieved, thinking she could help, but that relief only lasted a second. She was staring at me with a hatred I’d never seen before. Sure, she’d been mad at me lots of times, but this felt different. It was like she was relishing in my discomfort. Like she wanted to watch me squirm.

It chilled me to my very bones.

And now I had no idea what she was capable of.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Hudson,” Kendra says in her usual condescending tone. “I know Mom’s not herself right now, but this is part of the disease.”

No, she’s lying.

“She’s been fine with me,” Hudson says firmly, to my relief.

“Yeah, for the last month, maybe. But this has been going on for a while. You don’t know because you weren’t around. You haven’t seen the progression of the disease. Sometimes she seems lucid and healthy. And perhaps she’ll be like that for days or even weeks, but then she’ll have an episode, like the one she had today. It’s the reason I tried to get her to stay with me.” Kendra’s tone softens a bit. “I know you’re worried, and this is all new to you, but you don’t need to be. I’m here, and I know how to care for her. Don’t you have work to get to? It will be all right. Go. I’ve got this handled.”

I shudder at what that might mean.

“I’m not leaving Mom.”

“That’s a first,” Kendra says bitterly.

“How long are you going to throw my past in my face?” Hudson asks, and it is a valid question. One I’ve often thought of over the years in regards to my own relationship with Kendra. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“I’m talking about now. Even since you’ve been back, you’re not really back, are you? Mom says you’ve been out pretty much every night.”

Inwardly, I cringe. I never should have told her that. It was an offhanded comment I made the last time she picked Mason up. She’d asked how it was having Hudson around all the time, and her tone was biting, as if she thought that the only thing he did was lie around being waited on hand and foot.

“He’s actually not around much,” I’d responded, thinking I was defending him. “He’s either working or out with friends.”

How was I to know she’d use it against him this way?

“I’m actually surprised you’re here now,” she continued. “I assumed you’d be gone tonight.”

“Is that what you were banking on when you drugged her?” Hudson asks.

“Oh, my god. You’ve always been so dramatic. I’ve hardly drugged her.”

“She’s clearly on something.”

“She was agitated, Hudson. When I found her, she was huddled and wet in the shower, talking nonsense to Grace, and she got combative when I tried to get her into bed. So yes, I had to sedate her, but it was for her own protection.”

I want to scream. There is movement, a shuffling of sorts. Then Kendra speaks again. “Look, Hudson, I know this is hard. But trust me. I’m a nurse. I know what I’m doing. It’s best if you just leave everything up to me.”

For a few seconds it’s silent. Then I hear footsteps—two sets—on the stairs.

No, please don’t leave me.

The footsteps get quieter and quieter until they disappear altogether.





I don’t know why she swallowed the fly...

I guess she’ll die...

Heather was afraid of me.

At least, that’s how she was acting lately. For the past week, she’d been avoiding me. I worried that maybe it wasn’t fear at all. Maybe she’d found out that I cheated on her. But who would’ve told her? When I finally pressed her about it, she admitted she was scared of Kendra, not me.

I was relieved she hadn’t found out I cheated. It was just a stupid kiss, anyway. A mistake.

But I was also pissed at my sister. She was always messing up everything for me.

Most people believed that out of the two of us, my sister was the responsible one. The smart one. The good one. At school, she was quiet, studious. At home, she went over and above with chores, and constantly dredged up my mistakes in front of our parents. As if to remind them of who was the better child.

But I knew who she really was.