A Mother Would Know (42)

“What are you doing here?” Her expression is one of desperation, possibly even fear.

Does she think Hudson is with me? That this is some kind of ambush?

I hold up my hands, showing my palms, as if in surrender. “He has no idea I’m here. I just need to talk with you.”

She shakes her head, her hands trembling as she shoves the cigarette back into the pack. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I know. I know.” I stay where I am, scared to move a muscle. As if she’s a stray cat I’m afraid will run away. “And I promise I’ll never contact you again after today if you just answer a couple of questions.”

She cocks her head to the side and narrows her eyes. “Is that a threat?”

“No. Of course not.” I sigh. “Can we please start over?”

She backs away. “I don’t think so.”

I’m losing her. “Wait. Please,” I call, but she isn’t moved. “He’s living with me.”

I’ve piqued her interest. “I just... I...um...need to know what he’s capable of.” God, I’m the worst mother on the planet. Maybe Kendra is right about me. I look around. If Hudson ever finds out about this, I’ll probably lose him forever.

What am I doing?

“Fine.” She turns, blowing out a breath. “But I only have a few minutes.” I follow her as she moves down the side of the building until we’re standing outside the range of the windows. Propping one leg up, she places her foot against the wall. “And I’m having a smoke.” She places a cigarette between her lips and lights up. There is a tattoo on her lower arm. At first I only catch the edge of it, a black swirl. It takes a moment to see what it is. A pair of angel wings. I briefly wonder at its meaning, liking it much more than the foreign words inked on my son’s body. She raises a brow. “Shoot.”

“Huh?”

Now both brows go up. “You said you had some questions.”

“Oh. Right.” Well, there’s no backing down now. As much as I think this is a mistake, I know I’ll kick myself if I let this opportunity go. I ask the question that’s been plaguing me all night. “Why’d you file a restraining order against my son?”

She lifts her chin, blowing a steady stream of smoke into the air above my head. It lingers for a moment before dissipating. “I didn’t want him contacting me anymore.”

Clearly. I bite back a snarky remark and instead say, “Right, but why? What had he done to you?”

Taking a long drag from her cigarette, she studies me. In person, there’s a hardness to her that the photos don’t show. Her under-eye makeup is a little smeared, and her thin lips are painted in a dark maroon color that causes her pale skin to look even lighter. She has a nose ring, but not on the side. It’s in the center, hanging down. It looks uncomfortable. Tattoos line her arms, which are exposed under a retro Metallica T-shirt. Her hair is pulled up in a messy ponytail. Online I’d assumed she was younger than Hudson. Up close, I’m now guessing they’re the same age, or she may even be older than him.

“Did Hudson tell you I’m a big fan?”

It takes me a minute. “Oh.” I point to my chest. “Of me, you mean?”

She nods. “Well, of Flight of Hearts, but yeah.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“It’s how he got me to go on a date with him. Told me you were his mom.” She flicks ash onto the concrete. “I thought it was pretty cool.”

I wonder why Hudson hadn’t told me that. Fans are hard to come by these days. I would’ve liked knowing I had one.

“I’d just gotten out of a relationship. My ex cheated on me. And Hudson was just so...”

Charming? Sweet? Good-looking?

“Into me.”

Okay. Not what I was expecting.

“It felt good, you know, to be with someone who liked me so much. Someone who liked me, maybe more than I liked him.” Her eyes cut to me to gauge how I take this news, her taking advantage of Hudson’s feelings. I say nothing, keep my listening face blank. “I thought it was perfect. Thought he’d never cheat on me.” She looks me in the eye. Frowns. “Turns out, there are worse things than being cheated on.”

A chill runs up my spine, despite the fact that it’s not cold at all today. I hug myself. “What do you mean?”

“Hudson was scary jealous. He never wanted me going out with friends. Hell, he didn’t even like me coming to work. He used to hang out here...kinda like you’re doing now.” My face flames. “Thought I was gonna have to quit after we broke up because he wouldn’t stop coming by.”

“But you didn’t,” I point out. Hudson must not have been that scary. She wasn’t exactly hiding. “You didn’t even change your phone number.”

“I almost did. Almost moved out of my apartment, too, because he kept showing up there. Almost changed every goddamn thing about my life. But then he would’ve won, you know? And I was like, screw that.” She throws the cigarette on the ground and stomps on it with the sole of her checkered Vans. “That’s why I filed the restraining order. So I could keep my life and not have to worry about him harassing me anymore.” Stepping around me, she says, “Break’s over.”