ASBO: A Novel of Extreme Terror(68)

“Nothing happened, mum. I just found out that he wasn’t a very nice person.”

His mother took a swig of beer and laughed. “Could have told you that long time ago. He’s been no good since the day I birthed him.”

Davie was weary and his usual tolerance of his mother’s vitriol seemed somehow absent. “Maybe he wouldn’t have turned out so bad if you’d been a better mother.” The words escaped Davie’s mouth before he even realised he wanted to say them. Now that he had, though, he felt a cloying pressure release itself from his bones.

Predictably, his drunken mother went nuclear. She threw her empty beer can at Davie, hitting his face above the eyebrows and spiking the pain in his head. “How dare you! You…you little swine. I give you a home and feed you and this is how you repay me? Twenty years of my life down the pan for you boys. I’ve a right mind to kick you both out.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Davie said calmly.

“Oh, wouldn’t I? We’ll see about that, you ungrateful brat.”

“You won’t throw us out,” Davie said, “because you’d lose all your benefits and wouldn’t be able to drink yourself stupid every day. As for putting a roof over your head, the government only gave it to you because of me. You’d be in a skanky flat somewhere if I were to ever leave, so I don’t want to hear any more of your selfish complaining, you alcoholic, hate-filled old witch. The only person to blame for your terrible life is you, so deal with it.” Davie reached down to the floor and picked up the empty beer can that she had thrown at him. He stood up and tossed it back onto her lap. “And you can get your own beer from now on. Go outside and let the whole street see what a pathetic waster you are.”

Davie’s mother unleashed a tirade of abuse at him, but he was already out the door and halfway up the stairs before she managed to complete her first slurred sentence. It was just background noise now. The things he had said to her should’ve left him feeling elated, yet it hadn’t. There was too much on Davie’s mind to enjoy the moment and the confrontation with his mother was not enough to shift the growing numbness that was seeping through his mind. After what he and his brother put Andrew and his family through, Davie felt unworthy of any emotion other than shame and regret. He wished he could put things right, but there would never be a way.

Nothing will ever make up for what we did.

Davie entered the cramped space of his bedroom and hopped up onto his unmade bed. Thoughts turned to his brother and then, unexpectedly, to sympathy. What Davie had said to his mother was indisputably true: what chance did Frankie have growing up with her as a moral guardian? Ending up in a young offender’s home had probably been inevitable from the moment Frankie was born.

And that’s exactly where I’ll be heading too.

Davie thought about what Damien had said about his brother’s time in prison and felt violently sick. Frankie was strong, respected, and feared. The thought of him being….being helplessly abused just did not mesh with the image that Davie had of him. It made his brain hurt just trying to consider the notion.

Even if it is true, what difference does it make? Frankie is broken and I don’t think there’s any way to fix him. Understanding a monster doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a monster.

Davie had looked into his brother’s eyes earlier and saw that there was something missing – a key piece of the puzzle that most people had. Compassion.

Does that mean he’s evil?

No, Davie told himself, he’s my brother and he doesn’t deserve the existence he was given. His whole life he’s looked out for me. He’s not evil. He’s just hurting.

Hurting bad.

And I just turned my back on him. Just like his own mother did before I was even out of nappies. What chance do I have either. I’m not going to end up any better. Eventually I’ll end up banged up, just like Frankie.

Davie felt a tear fall from his cheek.

He needs me.

Another tear and Davie was done feeling sorry. He wiped it away and nodded his head,

It’s time for me to look out for him now. Whatever happens, I’m the only family Frankie’s got. He needs me to look out for him the way he’s always looked out for me. I need to stop him before he gets himself into any deeper trouble. I owe him that much.

Davie rolled off of his bed and took a deep breath. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the revolver Frankie had given to him and examined it.