You Asked for Perfect(32)

Sook wrings her hands together. “But what if she doesn’t?”

“That will suck. But it’s better than ruining your friendship.”

She puts her head down and groans one more time. I pat her back again.

“I need this to happen,” she mumbles. She tilts her head, and her eyes meet mine. “If I don’t pursue my dream now, I’ll lose it. I’ll go off to Dartmouth, and I’ll study and get a real job and pay bills and get married, and I’ll never prioritize my music again. I know I’m only in high school, but it’s like I’m already running out of time.”

Her words echo my own spiral of thoughts. If I don’t get into Harvard, my whole life will be running to catch an opportunity I already missed.

I’m tempted to let Sook in. Confide in her like I confided in Amir. But my problems are over, right? I aced the last test. I don’t need to complain about an issue that no longer exists.

Malka’s footsteps pad down the stairs, and I nudge Sook and whisper, “Talk to her.”

“Almost ready, promise,” Malka says, sipping her water and seeming tense.

Sook glances up. “It’s okay, take your time.”

Malka narrows her eyes. “Why?”

“Look.” Sook clears her throat. “I’m sorry I’ve been uptight about the band and not the nicest person to be around.” She glances at Malka. “I really want this, you know. And I only have like half a year to make it happen. But I know you’re in college and have this other life now, and I need to be considerate of that.”

Malka looks stunned, but her face softens. “Thank you, for apologizing. Really. I”—she pauses—“I love this band, but do I want it to be my first priority? Do I want to get signed and pursue this for real?”

“Do you?” Sook asks.

Malka hesitates. “Truthfully, I don’t know. I don’t want to commit and say yes and then screw you over.”

Sook twists her mouth. “Yeah, I don’t want you to screw me over, either.”

“Can I promise to stay honest with you? If I’m ever starting to doubt my commitment, I’ll let you know and give you time to find someone new?”

“That’s really fair, and I really hate that. I love you, Malka.”

“I love you, too,” she responds.

“This is like the happy ending of a Disney Channel Original Movie,” I say, grinning.

“Shut up,” both of them respond.

“Okay, but if I shut up, I can’t tell you my news.” My pulse skips just from teasing them. I can still feel the gentle press of Amir’s lips against mine.

Malka grins. “I think I know what this news will be.”

“What?” Sook looks confused. “Am I missing something? I’m missing something.” She stands. “What am I missing, Ariel? Tell me!”

“Amir and I kissed. Friday night. When we went to get the car.”

Malka squeals. “I knew it! Like you wanted to walk to the car with him out of nowhere. Yeah, right. Y’all could barely keep your eyes off each other at dinner.”

“Oy,” I groan. “Were we really that obvious?”

“Obviously not that obvious,” Sook says. “I had no clue.” She narrows her eyes. “I thought you didn’t like him. What’s going on?”

“I didn’t not—I mean, yeah, he annoyed me. But I don’t know. We started hanging out because…” I hesitate. “We wanted to study for calculus. And we got along better than expected, and one thing led to another, and…” My smile is too big. I pick up a pillow and hide my face with it.

“Oh my god, adorable,” Malka says. “Y’all make a cute couple.”

“A couple?” Sook asks. “You guys are dating?”

“No!” I say. “I mean, no, not yet. We only kissed a couple days ago, and we haven’t talked about it, but we’re going to study again tonight so…”

“Okay,” Sook says. “Cool.”

I stare at her. “Your enthusiasm is lacking.”

“Sorry.”

I stare more.

She holds her hands up and smiles, eyes wide. “Sorry! I mean it! I’m happy for you guys. I just need time to adjust. I had no clue. Admittedly, I feel kind of left out, Ariel. You didn’t tell me you were into him. I told you about my crush on Clarissa, and she doesn’t even live in this city.”

She’s right.

“You’re right.” I scratch my ear. “It happened really fast. I didn’t tell anyone. Forgive me, best friend?”

“But of course.” She wraps an arm around my shoulder. “I’m happy for you, really. Now come on. It’s time to actually play our instruments.”

We set up. It feels weird to have my violin in a new environment. I crack all my knuckles, then my neck. I practiced my Rimsky-Korsakov solo for hours yesterday, so my fingers are sore from the metal strings. It’s going to be a rough week keeping up practice for the solo and the band.

I read over the sheet music. It’s much easier than what we’re playing in orchestra, but there’s this different kind of pressure. Sook and Malka are practically professionals now. What if I’m not good enough? What if at the end of this session, Sook turns and says, “Thanks very much, but never mind. I’m going to give Pari a call”?