With the Fire on High(46)
“Thank you, ma’am. We’re really looking forward to it,” I say.
She gives me a look that I don’t know how to read. “Malachi talks about you all the time. I’m glad to finally meet you.”
I don’t look at Malachi as I nod.
“Well, you all go on in. I have some paperwork to do in my office, so I won’t be able to join you. But make sure you enjoy!” We enter through one of the first-floor gates and look for the letter-and-number combination that indicates our row. As I replay the conversation something twists in my stomach. Malachi talks about me to his aunt?
Before I know it, my thoughts are absorbed in the music, the colorful lights, the characters in their large costumes as they skate and twirl and jump in the air. I don’t have any words except to say it’s magical. And I’m just as into it as Babygirl. She bounces along in my lap and Angelica’s lap, clapping and pointing. I wish I could do this for her more often, give her these kinds of adventures.
Malachi leans over, his breath warm on my ear. “Smile, Santi. This is the greatest show on earth.”
“You got the wrong show, homie. I think that saying was for a circus show, not Disney.”
“I wasn’t talking about what’s happening over there,” Malachi says, tugging on one of my curls. “I was talking about what’s happening right here.” He links his fingers with mine, and I’m glad Babygirl is in Angelica’s lap, bouncing and bucking. I’m so glad my hand is free so it can be inside of Malachi’s.
“You’re ridiculous,” I say, laughing. “What does that even mean?”
Malachi doesn’t answer. And I don’t pull my hand from his for the rest of the show.
Chivalry
Auntie Jordyn lets us out through a side door, which means we avoid the rush. We are immediately sucker-punched by cold air and I pull the plastic cover tighter over Emma’s stroller. One of the things that I hate most about winter is that even though it’s only four thirty, it’s already dark out, and the temperature dropped twenty degrees in the two hours we were inside so now it’s barely in the double digits.
I try to blow heat onto my gloved hands. Malachi is still inside speaking with his aunt. Laura and Angelica are snuggling into each other’s necks. “You two go ahead. Laura’s house is in the opposite direction so it’s not like we’re walking to the same train.” Angelica gives me exactly three seconds to reconsider before she grabs Laura’s hand and flounces, literally flounces, away with Laura laughing behind her.
“Goodbye, Emoni. Thanks for including us,” Laura says over her shoulder. I don’t blame them for not wanting to stick around. I like how light Laura makes Angelica feel, how happy they are to hold hands and just love.
And then Malachi is standing beside me, and he’s tucked my hand into his, and he’s holding the stroller with his other hand, and I’m a web of knots. The feelings of this growing crush tangle with the feelings of guilt and doubt about whether or not I should pursue this. But I wish I could strip myself of my past and enjoy who I am right now.
“My aunt ordered us a ride-share so we don’t have to walk in the cold when we get off at your bus stop.” So that’s what they’d been in there discussing—where I lived.
“I don’t have a car seat for her so I’m not sure that will work,” I say.
But Malachi surprises me. “I know. We requested a car with a car seat.” It’s not the kind of thing I would imagine him thinking about.
We are quiet as we wait, and when the car pulls up I unbuckle Babygirl and Malachi holds open the door for me before folding up her stroller. We ride the twenty minutes home in silence, listening to R&B on the radio. My house is dark when we walk in. I close the door behind me and turn on the living room light. I’m so glad Disney tired Babygirl out and she was asleep in the car before the first song finished playing on the radio. It’s too early for her to go to bed, but I don’t have it in my heart to wake her up. I’ll just deal with her midnight energy when it comes. I take her upstairs and lay her down in her crib. When I come back down Malachi is using the bathroom.
I’m rinsing out a glass in the sink when I hear him follow me into the kitchen. I turn to ask him if he wants some water, but his arm that’s slipped around my waist and touching bare skin startles me. I freeze for a moment, and it’s not until I hear the glass shatter against the tile floor that I realize it fell from my hand.
We scramble back from each other and I listen to Babygirl’s monitor to make sure the noise didn’t wake her. When I’m greeted by silence from Babygirl, I drop to my knees to pick up the shards of glass. Malachi follows me down and we are nose to nose for one second before I scoop up some big chunks and carry them to the trash bin. Malachi grabs the broom in the kitchen corner and takes care of the smaller pieces.
“You’re good with kids,” I say when we’ve cleaned up.
“Yeah, my mom used to say the same thing. Even when he was being an asshole I had patience with my little brother. Emoni, are you bleeding?”
I look down at my hand. I hadn’t even noticed the small cut on my palm.
“Let me see,” he says. He pulls me over to the sink and puts my hand under running water, then inspects my cut palm. After a moment, he curls my hands around his and kisses my knuckles.