Whisper (Whisper #1)(4)

My stomach lurches, and I struggle to beat back the memories his words call forth.

“Our scouts discovered you three weeks into your time at the institute, and after confirming your potential, they delivered you to this facility — a much safer alternative than a psych ward for unstable and dangerous youth. That’s why I find myself curious, Jane, because from all I’ve read, it appears as if you’ve been wholly uncooperative since your arrival.”

His eyes remain fixed on mine as he finishes, “I would very much like to know why.”

I keep my mouth shut. No words escape my lips.

“In preliminary testing, your results gave us reason to believe that you would be a distinct asset to our program.”

I fight against my brow furrowing, having no idea about any “preliminary” testing or the program he’s speaking of.

“Despite that, you’ve since shown nothing to prove your worth,” Falon continues, his eyes skimming over the tablet again. “Dr. Manning says it’s easier to draw blood from a stone than it is to evaluate your psychological disposition. I’ve already alluded to Vanik’s opinion of you, and many of your rotating evaluators tend to agree with his assessment. Only Lieutenant Enzo has anything encouraging to report, claiming that you are surprisingly committed to your physical training. He seems impressed by how far you’ve come in the time you’ve been here.”

A flicker of warmth stirs inside me. Of all the people at Lengard, Enzo is the only one for whom I hold any positive regard. He knows I’m classified as a threat, even if he doesn’t know why, but he has no fear of me. And for that I respect him. I do what he says and push my body to its limits daily. It feels good: the running, the sparring, everything else he demands of me. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. Faster. Fitter. That knowledge is what keeps me going on the days when all I feel is weakness.

“Enzo’s report is the only positive among a slew of negatives,” Falon says. “Your apathy and lack of cooperation in every other area should have prompted us to remove you from Lengard long ago. It’s true that Vanik believes your brain chemistry is —” he searches for an appropriate word “— unique, but we have others who can assist him with his research. So, why are you still here, Jane?”

I assume the question is rhetorical; I don’t think he expects me to answer, since I can’t possibly know what he wants me to say. I have no idea why they’re keeping me here. I have no idea why I was brought here to begin with. I have no idea why, day in, day out, my hours are spent undergoing tests and — in Vanik’s case — torture.

Lengard is a secret government facility.

That’s all I’ve ever known.

But why it’s secret, I’m not sure. Nor do I understand my purpose here. That is something that has never been explained, never made sense.

And I’ve never asked.

I couldn’t ask.

So I’ve waited, hoping one day someone would tell me.

No one ever has.

Falon spoke true when he said they pulled me from a psychiatric institution. But I’m just as much a prisoner here as I was there — perhaps more so.

There, at least, I understood. By placing myself in that hospital, I locked myself away from the world. There, I knew the rules. But here? Two years, six months, fourteen days, and I still don’t know what game we’re playing, let alone whose rules I should follow. I am nothing more than a glass pawn in a black-and-white chess set: out of place and utterly breakable.

Falon releases a breath and wearily rubs a hand across his face. I’m not sure if it’s a genuine display of fatigue or the gesture is all for show. He could just be trying to make me feel empathy. I have no idea why he would try to manipulate my reaction, though. I have no idea about anything when it comes to this man.

“I’ve decided that we’re going to attempt something different with you, Jane. On a trial basis only. So far you’ve given us nothing to help further our goals, and I feel it prudent to warn that if you continue to resist the intentions of Lengard, I will have no choice but to eliminate you from the program. Do you understand what that means?”

Despite knowing nothing about this so-called program, I’ve always understood I would never be released back into the real world as a civilian. The one thing they did tell me, right at the beginning, was that Lengard must be kept secret from the general population … and that the government would do whatever it must to ensure that remains the case.

Since I have no intention of walking free again, the threat has never alarmed me. I understand exactly what Falon is saying — that if I fail whatever this new trial is, that’s it. Lengard will get rid of me … and no one will even know that I’m gone.

I can see Falon is waiting for a response, and this time I must give it to him. I nod once, and his eyes light with approval at my gesture. Maybe he really did think I was insane, as Vanik likely suggested in his reports. Perhaps Falon wondered if I was just sitting here, an empty shell of a girl, unaware of his words. He can’t possibly know that words are all I’m ever aware of. Every hour, every minute, I weigh them in my mind. Words are everything to me. They are life. They are death. They fill all the spaces in between.

“Good,” Falon says. “Then you’ll start working with Ward as of tomorrow. Your schedule will remain mostly the same, and your evaluations with Dr. Manning, Lieutenant Enzo and Vanik will continue, but you’ll no longer be moved from person to person in the afternoon. Those hours will be allocated solely to Ward. You will do what he says — whatever he says — and if he doesn’t come to me with any indication of progress after one month, then you’ll be evicted from the program. Do you agree to those terms?”