While It Lasts (Sea Breeze #3)(8)

Becca had been real close to that naked chest. Those large tanned hands had touched her waist and from what I could tell he’d touched a little more than that. I was surprised Becca hadn’t crumpled to the ground. The girl didn’t even have on a bra! Did she have no shame? I was torn between disgust and jealousy. Yes, I might as well admit it. I was jealous. The guy was gorgeous and Becca was free to enjoy just how gorgeous he was. I was jealous of that. Because I knew I wasn’t. I’d never be free.

Even if my daddy were to approve of someone like Cage, I could never move on with someone less than worthy of filling Josh’s shoes. Josh wanted me to move on and I wasn’t sure I ever could. If I did… If I ever attempted to— it would have to be with a guy Josh would approve of. Cage York would never be that guy.

“EVA! WHERE ARE YOU?” Becca Lynn’s voice called out down the hall as she got closer to the bathroom door I knew she would bang on any second. Taking one deep breath I wiped my hands on the hand towel and opened the door.

Becca had just stopped outside the door and had her fist up ready to knock.

“There you are! Ohmygod Eva! I think I’m gonna kiss your Uncle Mack next time I see him. I swear my body hasn’t gone this crazy over a boy ever. Cage makes me feel like I’ve just had the world’s best orgasm when he hasn’t done anything more than smile at me with those delicious full lips of his. DEAR LORD HAVE MERCY his thumb touched my boob and I’m more than positive I DID have an orgasm right there in your yard,” Becca pushed past me, closed the toilet lid, flopped down on it and began fanning herself. “I am so going to do him tonight. I don’t care that I just met him. I want that boy naked! Did you see him out there with his shirt off?”

Yes, I’d seen him.

“Don’t have sex with him, Becca. He probably has STDs. He will screw you today and move on to someone else tomorrow. Don’t give him that part of you.”

Because I was pretty sure I’d die of jealousy at having to hear her relive it over and over again.

Becca Lynn rolled her eyes, “Whatever Eva. He does not have STDs. That’s silly. It isn’t like he screws prostitutes. The boy can pick and choose. Besides, I will make sure we use a condom. Anyway, who else is he going to move onto? He’s stuck here all summer. Other than you and me, no one else is coming around here for him to move on to.”

I thought about the girls who would be at the lake party tonight and wondered if that had ever crossed her mind.

“Deedee and Farah are coming tonight, aren’t they?” I asked, leaning a hip against the sink.

Becca frowned for a moment then lifted her gaze to meet mine, “Deedee is back with Brett and Farrah is seeing Hayden Morris, you know the boy who was quarterback at Sea Breeze our junior and senior years. Josh outplayed him during the championship game and we…” she trailed off like she always did when she mentioned Josh’s name. It was as though she was afraid I’d burst into tears and fall to the ground. I couldn’t blame her. I had been a major recluse for over eight months after Josh was killed. Other than Jeremy I had closed everyone else out during those months. Becca had been away at college most of that time so it hadn’t been difficult to hide from everyone. Jeremy had dropped out that semester and I’d been so wrapped up in my pain that I hadn’t thought about how my grief was affecting him. When I’d heard my dad talking to Jeremy one night after he thought I’d gone to bed, I realized what I was doing to him. Dad had been telling him that he needed to go back to school that fall. He couldn’t stay here with me forever. Jeremy had refused to leave me.

I’d done everything I could to prove to him that I was better. That I could make it without him. In the end it had been pointless. He’d enrolled at a local college and he commuted. By the winter semester I’d enrolled too. We commuted together. It had worked.

This was our last summer together. Things were changing. Jeremy wanted to go to LSU. He had family in Louisiana and he wanted to get an apartment with his cousin. He had no idea I knew all this. But I did. I was doing everything I could to prove to him that he could tell me his plans. I would be okay. It was time he lived his life and stopped holding my hand.

“I didn’t mean to…” Becca’s voice broke into my thoughts and I realized she thought my quietness was because of her mentioning Josh.

I smiled, “It’s okay to say his name. I don’t want to pretend he didn’t exist. I can hear his name now and not fall apart. Josh was the biggest part of my life for eighteen years. I like remembering things about him,” I assured her and reached out to squeeze her shoulder.

“He was awesome that game. We were the ones picked to lose and he dominated that field. He showed all those college scouts that the hot shot quarterback Hayden Morris wasn’t so big and bad after all.”

Becca’s smile was sad. “Yeah, he did, didn’t he? Why didn’t he take that scholarship to South Carolina for football?”

My chest tightened. I wasn’t ready for that just yet. Shaking my head, I straightened up from my relaxed stance. “Because he said life was more than football. He wanted his life to mean something more.”

That was all I could manage. I turned and walked out the door. I needed a moment. I thought back to that day he’d left for boot camp and I’d cried my eyes out begging him not to join the army. I had promised him I would go to South Carolina with him. We wouldn’t have to be apart and he’d be safe. Away from guns and bombs.