While It Lasts (Sea Breeze #3)(55)

He wouldn’t leave me.

There were no calls on my phone. No text messages. Nothing.

Cage had left without a word.

Why? What had I done wrong? Had it all been just sex for him? Were all those sweet words something he told every girl when he had sex? God, no. I dropped my phone on the floor and let the pain assail me. I’d given my heart away to someone who didn’t want it. Even knowing that, I didn’t regret it. I just wanted him to want me. I just wanted him to love me too.

*

I took my guitar and headed for the barn. It was my daily routine. Daddy was bothered by it but I told him to leave me alone and let me handle this the way I wanted to. I wasn’t innocent and full of dreams and fantasies anymore. All of that died with Josh. I understood that pain was real and sometimes things didn’t last. Sometimes you just had to enjoy it while it lasts and cherish it when it’s gone.

Opening the door to Cage’s room, I sat down on the bed and sat my guitar in my lap. I’d hid from my music when I’d lost Josh. I needed it now. There was so much I needed to express and this was the only way I knew how. I opened the new notebook I’d bought and the words I’d been working on covered the first page. I began playing the tune that I heard in my head and jotting down ones that worked better.

My time with Cage wasn’t something I ever wanted to forget. I wanted every emotion written down. The way it felt falling in love. Losing yourself to someone. Those were moments that I would always hold close.

Josh had always been in my life. I don’t remember actually falling in love with him. I just always loved him. He was secure. He was there for me and I knew it. We were a part of each other.

Cage was so different. He’d shown me how it felt to want, to need, to surrender, to lose myself. He encouraged me to let go of my insecurities and be myself. Cage was free and wild. He was like a beautiful bird you could never own.

The words flowed out of me and I ignored the tears that streaked down my face.





Chapter Twenty-Three


Cage


“You won’t come to the party so I brought the party to you,” Preston called out as he walked into my apartment. Four giggling females followed him inside. Shit.

I slammed my beer down on the counter and glared at him from across the bar. “I told you I wasn’t interested.”

Preston had his arm around a redhead and reached over and to grab her tits. “But look at these beauties.” He winked at me. “They’re naughty little sorority girls. Our favorite kind.”

This was sick. I shoved off from the bar and pointed to the door. “Take them somewhere else Preston. I’m not in the mood.”

A blonde sauntered over to me and pressed her massive fake tits against my arm. “Awww, don’t be so mean. I can make you feel so much better.” When her hand ran over my uninterested cock and squeezed I snapped.

“Get them the FUCK out of my apartment. Now.”

“Damn Cage. You’re no fun at all anymore.”

I didn’t wait for him to take them out. I stalked back to my room and slammed the door then locked it. I’d met girls like those before. They didn’t take no for an answer.

“Can I at least use the guest bedroom? I can take care of all four by myself!” Preston called out.

“NO!”

I heard grumbling as they left. Once the door closed behind them I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes.

Eva. God, I missed her so much. I went to sleep thinking about her and woke up every morning with the reality that I’d never hold her again.

Did she think I just left her? Did she think I got what I wanted and left? She’d given me her virginity and I just left. Fuck. How was I going to live the rest of my life knowing she thought I just left her? She hadn’t called or texted me. Maybe she was relieved. Maybe in the light of day she realized she’d made a mistake. I’d told her I loved her. I hadn’t been able to hold it in. Other than Low, I’d never told anyone I loved them.

I reached for my phone. I know Wilson told me not to contact her but I had to make sure she was okay.

Me: I’m sorry. I had to leave. I just want to make sure you’re okay.



I doubted she’d reply. But I had to try.



Eva: I’m sorry too.



What did that mean? She was sorry I left? She was sorry her dad gave me no choice? She was sorry she had sex with me?



Me: What are you sorry for?



Eva: Everything.



I let my phone fall to the bed and I closed my eyes against the pain.

*

“Come out of that room and get your butt in here,” Low called from my living room. I really needed to hide the extra key in a better spot.

Rolling over in bed, I stood up and dragged myself into the kitchen.

“What’re you doing here, Low?”

Low took in my appearance and shook her head. “You look awful. You need to get a shower and shave.”

“Thanks. If that’s all you wanted to tell me I’m going back to bed,” I grumbled.

“No, you’re not. I came over here because we need to talk.”

I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Talk,” I replied.

Low pulled herself up to sit on the bar. “Why are you doing this to yourself? Why did you leave if you were just going to waste away in your apartment?”