Where the Staircase Ends(41)

“It’s beautiful,” I admitted as I studied the wheeling stars. They were a million eyes blinking down from the blackened heavens, waiting and watching.

“Are you okay?” I could feel him studying me but I kept my chin tipped towards the sky, avoiding his gaze.

“Course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I be?” So he wouldn’t have a chance to answer the question, I quickly added, “Does Sunny know you’re out here? She’ll be looking for you, you know.”

I said it in a way that made my voice sound strong and ample, so he would think I was a good supportive friend rather than some jealous girl staring at the sky with a guy she had a horrible unrequited crush on.

“Taylor,” he said, his voice low and serious. When I didn’t say anything he said, “Taylor, will you please look at me?”

I turned my face toward his. He was only a few inches from me, so close I could feel his breath on my cheeks when he let out a long exhale. He stared at me the same way he had all night: long and concerned.

“What are you doing? And don’t say you’re lying on the roof with me or looking at the stars or anything like that. You know that’s not what I mean. What are you doing?”

I forced my eyes to focus on the sky, afraid that if I kept looking at him with his mouth so close to mine I’d lose my resolve and kiss him.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I chewed on my bottom lip like it was a piece of Trident.

“You’re better than this. What are you doing with Logan?” He pulled himself up on his elbows and looked down on me.

“Logan is my boyfriend.”

“Logan is an *. What happened to his brother is sad, but it doesn’t give him an excuse to act like a jerk. How can you let someone treat you like that? He’s lucky I didn’t break his arm after I saw him shaking you up like that.”


“He’s just jealous. He didn’t mean anything by it. And I’m fine, really. No harm, no foul.” I added a smile when I said the last thing because I wanted him to think I meant it, but I avoided his eyes just in case.

“For someone so smart you sure do make some dumb choices.” He glared down at me with heavily lidded blue eyes.

I pushed myself up so we were eye level. My cheeks flared from fury, and my hands curled into fists.

“You’re one to talk,” I said, louder than I intended. But it felt good to yell. Especially at him. I was an egg cracked on the side of a pan, my anger spitting and hissing against the hot surface. “You act all smart and perfect all the time, like Justin can do no wrong. Then you invite me to The Fields and make it seem like I’m the one you want to see, like you actually like me too, only it wasn’t me you wanted at all. What kind of person does something like that? I liked you, Justin. And I know you’re smart enough to have figured that out. I mean, I even pretended to like the same music as you so that we’d have something to talk about. My freaking iPod is filled with all that indie garbage you like just because I wanted to impress you! And what did you do? You strung me along, inviting me somewhere when all you really wanted to do was hook up with my friend. Don’t you dare lecture me. Don’t you dare. You’re the bad guy in this story, not me.”

I started to get up, but he put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. He was smiling, and that pissed me off even more.

“Oh, this is funny to you? You think I’m a joke now?” I wanted to push him off the roof, or slap him, or scratch the stupid smirk from his face. Anything to get him to stop looking at me like that.

“Calm down,” he said, his hand pressing down on my shoulder and his grin widening. “I’m not laughing at you. But you have to admit it’s pretty funny that you just admitted you were only pretending to like all of that music. I must have given you, like, what? Twenty bands? And you bought all of them! You even knew some of the words.” He laughed really hard, holding his stomach like it might split open from the hilarity of my confession. Then he mimicked me in a high-pitched voice: “I just love Ender’s Radio. I wish they would make a hundred albums.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m so glad I could entertain you for the evening. That’s super. Glad you’re having so much fun.” I said it in the bitchiest tone I could muster. My fingers were numb from squeezing them against my palms.

“Please don’t go,” he said when I tried to leave again. “I don’t like Sunny. I’ve never liked Sunny. I don’t even know why you’re friends with her. She’s not even in your league.”

I stared at him for a moment, trying to make sense of what he’d said. “But I overheard Sunny talking about you to Jenny and Amber. And at the water tower you guys were chatting forever, and then I saw her grab on to you tonight—”

“You saw her try to grab me, but then you turned around and ran before you could see me push her off. And trust me when I say she was the one doing all the talking at the water tower. The only reason I even humor her is because she’s your friend.”

I sat back down and stared at him for a moment, relief and disbelief washing over me. How could he not like Sunny? Everybody liked Sunny, except for the people she chose not to like. The words didn’t sound right coming out of his mouth, especially because she wanted to be with him, and Sunny always got what she wanted.