What Happens Now(32)

But then Camden pointed with his chin and said, “Look over there.”

We were sitting where the creek was about to make a hairpin turn to the right, and beyond that curve was an open expanse of water.

It was a lake.

Oh. Our lake.

In the distance, I could see the dock and the diving board, the red-and-white dots of the buoys. The beach and the colorful smudges of people on it.

We were looking at it all from the far side of the lake. I felt a strange rush of intimacy with it, a new understanding of its many dimensions.

“You’re in that forbidden zone beyond the rope,” said Camden.

I dared to turn to him now. “You remember that?”

“Yes.”

His eyes searched my face and there was no denying it. The Moment-ness of this moment.

I turned away quickly, all instinct, stared out at the scene before us, and asked, “What do you love about Silver Arrow?”

Camden took in a long, slow breath. “I like the idea of being on a ship, part of a crew. Part of a whole. Belonging to something.” He stopped abruptly and shook his head, as if trying to reset whatever his next thought was. “What about you, Ari? Why are you such a fan?”

He said my name. His mouth wrapped around the same vowel-consonant-vowel progression I’d heard ten thousand times before, but it had never shaken me like this.

“I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Think about it now.”

I glanced at him, his expression all serious and earnest. He made everything sound so simple.

“It’s the thing I shared with my mom,” I finally said.

Camden looked surprised. “You’re using the past tense. Why?”

It unhinged me a bit, that he wanted to hear the story. Where would I even start with the telling?

“We don’t share it anymore.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He paused. “You can share it with me, now. I mean. All of us.”

Now I imagined Camden reaching out to put his hand on the back of my head and drawing my face to his. I even strategized how that would work, without one or both of us falling off the rock and hitting our head. Why was I so obsessed with the thought of somebody hitting their head?

I remembered how scared I’d been at his party. I didn’t feel any of that now. Even when thunder suddenly cracked above us.

The sky had quickly darkened in the way that only happens in summer.

“We should probably go,” he said. From where we were at the edge of the pool, it was only three big steps across three large rocks to the bank. I stood up and went first. It seemed important that I go first.

When my feet landed on solid ground again, I turned and waited for Camden. He launched himself off the last rock but his foot hit a root half-hidden in the dirt, and he lost his balance. I reached out on instinct and steadied him.

“Thanks,” he said, embarrassed.

“Anytime.”

He stood up straight now and looked hard at me.

“Shit,” he said.

I frowned. “Why shit?”

Camden shook his head. “I really wanted to kiss you.”

I drew a breath, but only a tiny one. “You can still do that.”

Camden shook his head. “I wanted to do it there, on the rock. So, so bad. But I chickened out.”

“You can still do that,” I said again, and swallowed hard.

Camden smiled and took my hand, moving quickly in the direction of the place we had just been. Then somehow we were back on that first rock.

And then, lips.

I wasn’t sure who touched the other person’s first. It honestly could have been me.

The taste of new and different, but not completely unfamiliar. Like something I’d known a long time ago but had forgotten and now it was here again.

It was only two seconds of warm soft wet, maybe three, when we heard Max’s voice calling. Camden broke away first.

“Cam? Ari? You guys out on the rocks?”

“Yes, over here!” yelled Camden.

Max appeared on the trail and pointed up. “We should go. Sky’s looking mean.”

“You guys start,” said Camden. “We’ll catch you.”

Max smiled a smile that seemed to have extra meaning, then turned and disappeared.

Silently Camden led me back across the rocks, his hand gripping mine extra tight, like they were having their own conversation.

When we got back to our clothes, Camden tugged his shirt back on and I pulled my dress over my head, feeling it stick to the back of my legs where I’d gotten wet. I was glad for those two seconds when my face was covered, and I didn’t have to worry about looking at him or not looking at him.

When I finally did meet his glance again he asked, “Ready?” with that mouth I’d just kissed. Holy crap.

I nodded. We walked with the drops hitting us plink plunk through the lattice of tree branches. We walked without talking or touching, everything between us quietly and monumentally changed.

In the parking lot, Max already had his car running, the wipers swishing.

Camden turned to me. “Can you come to the Barn tomorrow night?”

“Yes,” I said, not sure that was true. I would make it true.

“Good. Great. I’ll see you then.”

He climbed into the backseat of Max’s car and I thought for a second about climbing in after him, about slamming the door and saying Wherever you guys are going, I want to come, too.