Watch Us Rise(65)

Jacob turns, sees me, says, “Jealous that I’m not into you?”

“Don’t talk to her like that. God, you’re such a jerk,” Meg says.

I look at Meg, surprised those words just came out of her mouth. We stand side by side and stare Jacob down. He backs away, blows a kiss to Meg.

I watch while Jacob walks away. Just to be sure he’s really leaving. Once he’s out of sight, I turn back to my locker. Now I’m really late. And my locker is still jammed. Meg comes over to me, says, “Let me try.” She works some kind of magic, and with one try, it opens. “This happens to mine all the time.”

“Thanks,” I say.

“You’re welcome.” Meg hesitates, sliding her hair from the left to right. “And thank you. For that.”

“No problem.” I grab my coat and book for science class, close my locker, and walk away. I almost leave it at that, but then I turn and say, “Meg, can we talk?”

She stops, stands in the middle of the hallway. She doesn’t come closer to me and I don’t move either. “I know you apologized about the costume but really, my issue with you is so much more than that.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t. Don’t say sorry to me. Instead of an empty apology, you could try to be a better person and actually stop being judgmental and stop patronizing me because I’m big.”

“Jasmine, I understand. I feel so bad that I—”

“No. Just listen. Listen to what I have to say.” I stop talking for a moment, try to think of what it is I really want to tell Meg. “The blog Chelsea and I started is about us being seen and validated, and you disrespected us. You mocked it. And in class you tried to make me feel like I need to fix my body in order to get a leading role in a play. But my body isn’t broken. I am not beautiful in spite of being big. I’m beautiful because I’m big.”

I walk away, leaving Meg standing in the middle of the hallway. My heart is thumping and thumping and I am feeling just as anxious as I felt on that stage when I performed my poem. Anxious. But also proud.





I get to class just as Mrs. Curtis is explaining an activity. “In the four corners of our classroom, I’ve hung signs that say Strongly Agree, Strongly Disagree, Agree, Disagree.” She points as she talks and continues, “And here, in the middle, is where you can come if you are Unsure.” Mrs. Curtis says, “I will read a statement, and you will stand under the sign that best describes your answer.”

From there, she says, “Finding quality vegetables and fruit is easy to do in New York City.”

Most of the class stands under the Agree sign. I stand under there, too, but I am leaning toward Disagree.

Mrs. Curtis tells us to turn and talk to the people standing with us. “Ask them why they chose their answer,” she tells us.

My group talks ourselves out of our answer. One of the boys says, “Well, I’m kind of torn because I know it’s definitely possible to get quality vegetables and fruit, but is it easy? I mean, are we talking about it being easy for everyone?”

“Good point,” I say. “I was thinking the same thing but wasn’t sure if I was overthinking it.”

He laughs a familiar laugh that tells me he knows what it’s like to turn an idea over and over in his head.

“Next statement,” Mrs. Curtis says. “Owners of grocery stores should decide where they want to build.”

Most of us stand under Strongly Agree. One person is in the middle of the room as Unsure.

My group is in total agreement. Someone says, “I mean, if I’m the one who has the vision for the store and am taking the risk to even be an entrepreneur, I should be able to decide where my company builds.”

We are all nodding and agreeing, and the conversation is getting good when Mrs. Curtis says, “Okay, another one. It’s easy to have a healthy diet.”

When she says this, I immediately walk over to the Strongly Disagree section expecting the whole class will be walking with me, or at least half here and half under Disagree, but instead there are only three of us standing here and the rest of the class is under Agree.

I don’t want to talk about this one, so when she tells us to discuss, I just listen to the girl next to me who is saying exactly what I know to be true. “If it was easy, everyone would have a healthy diet,” she says.

When we return to our seats, Mrs. Curtis projects a map on the screen at the front of the room and says, “Today, we are going to talk about food deserts.” Mrs. Curtis gives a short lecture and then focuses back on the projected map. We are looking at New York City, and different shades of blue dots show where people have or do not have access to fresh vegetables and fruit. Mrs. Curtis asks us what we notice, and someone says, “I notice that the neighborhoods marked as low income have fewer and less-healthy options.”

“Good observation,” Mrs. Curtis says. “Who else notices something?”

Hands go up, and she calls on the next person. I stop paying attention when James comes in. He’s never late, but when I look at the door as it closes behind him I see Meg standing there waving and then walking away. He sits next to me, whispers, “What did I miss?”

I don’t answer him.

Mrs. Curtis passes out a handout and says, “Get with your partner. We’re going to take a neighborhood walk. Be sure to follow the prompts on the worksheet.”