Warrior (Relentless #4)(175)

Smiling, I lifted the covers. “In you go.”

I pulled the covers over her then kicked off my shoes and lay beside her on top of the blankets. I lifted my arm over her head in silent invitation, and she moved over to snuggle against my side with her head on my shoulder.

Closing my eyes, I played with the end of her hair as I let her soft breathing lull me into a light doze.

“Nikolas?”

“Hmmm?”

“Why haven’t you yelled at me for leaving Westhorne?”

My eyes opened, and I frowned at the ceiling. “Do you want me to yell at you?”

She sighed. “No, but you’re taking this too well. Are you being nice because I was sick?”

I swallowed a laugh. “Yes, but don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll give me more reasons to yell soon enough.”

She fell silent, and I wondered if she was waiting for me to say more.

“I was furious when I found out you’d left, and all I could think about was what could happen to you out there. I always want to keep you safe, but after the attack I couldn’t think of anything but getting you away from there.”

I looked down at her, wishing I could see her face. “I’m sorry I made you feel like you had no other choice but to leave. I want you to be able to come to me about anything.”

“I’m sorry I left the way I did. I was upset about the attack, and all I wanted to do was fight back,” she said hoarsely. “It hurt when you and Tristan said you were taking me away to hide, especially after people were hurt and killed because of me.”

“You’re not responsible for what happened that night.”

“I know, but it’s impossible not to feel guilty when some of my friends were killed by vampires who were after me. And I knew it wasn’t going to stop and they’d keep coming. Sooner or later, someone I love will die and I can’t live with that.”

Her voice cracked. “I had to do something to try to end this. I should have told you what I knew about Madeline instead of going after her without you. I kept telling myself I could find her and that she’d run if she saw the Mohiri. But the truth is, I needed to be the one to find her. I needed to feel like I was in control of my life again.”

I’d known from the beginning this was as much about Sara’s fight for independence as it was about finding Madeline. Since I met her, I’d been driven by my instinct to protect her, at all costs. First, I took her away from everything she knew and brought her to Westhorne. When that didn’t prove safe enough, I made the decision to take her to Russia without talking to her first. I’d never stopped to think that I could be the one hurting her the most.

“You’ve spent most of your life taking care of yourself, and I’ve spent mine protecting others. It’s not easy for either of us to go against our nature. I didn’t realize how much I was pushing you to change yours until you left.”

“And now?” she asked quietly.

She wasn’t going to like what I said no matter how I worded it. “I won’t lie to you. I’m not going to try to take you away, but I can’t stand to see you in danger either. You’re a fighter, but I’m an experienced warrior, and I’m going to do what I have to do to keep you safe.”

Her body tensed. “I understand why you feel so protective, but you have to see that I’m not helpless.”

“I never thought you were helpless. I just don’t think you’re ready to face what’s out there.”

Her powers were growing and one day soon, she’d be a force to be reckoned with, but she hadn’t seen a fraction of the ugliness in the world.

She pulled away from me, but I gently refused to let her go. “Let’s not fight,” I pleaded.

She lay against me again.

I pressed my lips to the top of her head. There had been a time when our disagreements ended with her yelling and walking away from me. We were making progress.

“You should go to sleep. I don’t want Nate and Tristan shooting me dirty looks tomorrow when you can’t stay awake at Christmas dinner.”

She yawned and snuggled against my side. “You’ll stay until I fall asleep?”

“I’ll stay until I hear snoring.”

“I don’t snore,” she retorted.

I grinned at the indignation in her voice. “Like a motorboat.”

“I do not snore!” She punctuated her words by poking me in the ribs.

Her playful touch sent warmth through me, and I had to grab her hand before she started something I wouldn’t want to stop.

“Okay, it’s more like a kitten purring,” I said, laughing. “Did I ever tell you how much I like kittens?”

I must have said the right thing because she laid her arm across my stomach and tucked her body as close as the blankets between us would allow.

I waited until I heard her breathing even out before I moved to slip out of her arms. She made a soft sound of protest and threw a leg across mine, her arm tightening around my waist.

“I don’t want to leave you either,” I whispered to her.

She sighed happily in her sleep, and I wrapped my arms around her again.

“Okay, five more minutes, and then I have to go.”





*


“What the hell?”