Uprooted(105)

Alosha shook her head. “I can’t help you. I won’t leave the princess and the royal children unguarded until I see them safely to Gidna.”

Reluctantly I said, “Solya might help me.” The last thing I wanted was to cast a spell with him, and give him any more reasons to keep grasping at my magic, but maybe his sight would make the spell stronger.

“Solya.” Alosha loaded his name with disapproval. “Well, he’s been a fool, but he’s not stupid. You may as well try him. If not, go to Ragostok. He’s not as strong as Solya, but he might be able to manage it.”

“Will he help me?” I said doubtfully, remembering the circlet on the queen’s head. He hadn’t liked me much, either.

“When I say so, he will,” Alosha said. “He’s my great-great-grandson; if he argues, tell him to come speak to me. Yes, I know he’s an ass,” she added, misunderstanding my stare, and sighed. “The only child of my line to show magic, at least in Polnya.” She shook her head. “It’s cropped up in my favorite granddaughter’s children and grandchildren, but she married a man from Venezia and went south with him. It would take more than a month to send for one of them.”

“Do you have much family left, besides them?” I asked timidly.

“Oh, I have—sixty-seven great-great grandchildren, I think?” she said after a moment’s thought. “Perhaps more by now; they drift away little by little. A few of them write to me dutifully every Midwinter. Most of them don’t remember that they’re descended from me, if they ever knew. Their skin has a little tea mixed in with the milk, but it only keeps them from burning in the sun, and my husband is a hundred and forty years dead.” She said it easily, as if it didn’t matter anymore; I suppose it didn’t.

“And that’s all?” I said. I felt almost desperate. Great-great-grandchildren, half of them lost and the rest of them so distant that she could sigh over Ragostok, and feel nothing more than a mild irritation. They didn’t seem enough to keep her rooted to the world.

“I didn’t have any other kin to begin with. My mother was a slave from Namib, but she died having me, so that’s all I know of her. A baron in the south bought her from a Mondrian trader to give his wife consequence. They were kind enough to me, even before my gift came out, but it was the kindness of masters: they weren’t kin.” She shrugged. “I’ve had lovers now and then, mostly soldiers. But once you’re old enough, they’re like flowers: you know the bloom will fade even as you put them in the glass.”

I couldn’t help bursting out, “Then why—be here at all? Why do you care about Polnya, or—or anything?”

“I’m not dead,” Alosha said tartly. “And I’ve always cared about good work. Polnya’s had a line of good kings. They’ve served their people, built libraries and roads, raised up the University, and been good enough at war to keep their enemies from overrunning them and smashing everything. They’ve been worthy tools. I might leave, if they grew wicked and bad; I certainly wouldn’t put swords in men’s hands to follow that damned hothead Marek into a dozen wars for glory. But Sigmund—he’s a sensible man, and good to his wife. I’m glad enough to help him hold up the walls.”

She saw the misery on my face, and with rough kindness added, “You learn to feel it less, child; or you learn to love other things. Like poor Ballo,” she said, with a kind of dusty, wistful regret, not strong enough to call grief. “He lived for forty years in a monastery illuminating manuscripts before anyone noticed he wasn’t growing older. He was always a little surprised to find himself a wizard, I think.”

She went back to her sharpening, and I went out of the room, sore and more unhappy than before I’d asked. I thought of my brothers growing old, of my little nephew Danushek bringing me his ball with his frowning little serious face; that face becoming an old man’s, tired and folded and worn with years. Everyone I knew buried, and only their children’s children left to love.

But better that than no one left at all. Better those children running in the forest, safe to run there. If I was strong, if I’d been given strength, I could be a shield for them: for my family, for Kasia, for those two small children sleeping in the bed and all the others who slept in the shadow of the Wood.

I told myself that, and tried to believe it would be enough, but it was still a cold and bitter thought to have, alone in the dark hallways. A few of the lower maids were just beginning to get the day’s work under way, creeping quietly in and out of the nobles’ rooms to stir up the fires, just the same as the day before, even though the king was dead. Life went on.

Solya said, “We don’t need the fire tended, Lizbeta: just bring us some hot tea and breakfast, there’s a girl,” when I opened up his door. His fire was already up and mouthing a pair of fresh logs in a large stone fireplace.

No small gargoyle-haunted cell of a room for him: he had a pair of chambers, each three times as large as the one they’d crammed me into. His stone floors were covered in piled white rugs, soft and thick: he must have used magic to keep them clean. A large canopied bed, rumpled and untidy, was visible in the second room through a pair of open doors. Along the broad wooden panel at its foot, a carved falcon flew, its eye made of a single large smooth-polished golden stone with a black slitted pupil staring out of it.