Tokyo Ever After: A Novel (Tokyo Ever After #1)(49)

“Yes.” I’m not ashamed.

He wipes his hands, mutters to himself. “If I was an Avenger, I wouldn’t be the Hulk.”

My eyebrows meet my hairline. “You wouldn’t?”

He scoffs. “No. Obviously, I’d be Tony Stark. Iron Man.”

I laugh. He does not. I take a breath. “You’re serious?”

Blank stare. “Well, I’m certainly not the Hulk or Hawkeye.”

“Yeah, Hawkeye is the worst.” I mean, he’s got a cool love story. But a bow and arrow? C’mon. “What about Dr. Strange?” I’m sorry as soon as I ask it.

Akio snorts. “A white guy who uses ancient Chinese mysticism?”

“It is a touch problematic,” I say. “There could be more Asian representation.” Or just some. One, really. One Asian superhero. It doesn’t seem too much to ask.

We laugh together. I stare at my feet. Rock back on my heels. “So, small spaces, huh?”

He shakes his head. “My family visited a bamboo forest like this when I was younger. Not a farm. More like a tourist destination. I got lost for a few hours. Couldn’t find my way out.” His arm lifts, fingers brushing my hair. I resist leaning into his touch. “Leaf,” he says, holding up a little piece of green and letting it flutter to the ground.

Right. On that note. “We should probably go.” I don’t wait for him to answer. I start walking. Akio keeps pace. I don’t want to leave things like this, strained and confused.

I stop abruptly. We nearly collide. I jump back, not wanting to touch him again.

“Akio—”

“Your Highness—”

We speak at the same time. He extends a hand to me. “Please.”

Now that I have the floor, I’m not sure what to say. I swallow. I wish I could read him better. I wish I could touch him even more. “I’m sorry for how I acted on the train.” I press on. “And in the car ride about calling me princess.”

“I understand.” He nods as if it’s nothing.

“I just don’t want you to think that I think of you that way. I don’t believe I’m above you.” I pause. “I didn’t mean it.”

“You should mean it.” He’s so earnest.

I sniff. I’m such a crier. “I’ve also been thinking you were right.”

“About?”

“Me and you. I know it can’t happen. It was just a foolish mistake.” I breathe deep. Let the tears dry for a moment. “Plus, if I dated you, people might think I’m shallow because you’re too good-looking.” I stick up my nose. It’s all about my public image these days.

His laugh is dry. “People would think I’ve betrayed my monarchy and that I am a shameless opportunist.”

Touché. “Definitely don’t want that.”

“So that’s it.” Our gazes meet a moment, then dart away.

“That’s it.”

Why does it feel as if I’m losing something all over again? “We can still be friends though, right?” I’ve missed talking to him.

He shifts slightly. Moves a little bit closer. The tension eases, like a spring coil slowly releasing. He sticks out a hand for me to shake. “Friends,” he says definitively.

My palm slides against his. Our fingers clasp. One shake. Then, we hold on a moment too long. Slowly, we disengage. It might be the last time we touch. I want to remember the feel of his rough palm, the warmth there.

We amble together through the forest. “You remember the way?” asks Akio. Oh, he’s still a little scared. How cute.

“Absolutely,” I say reassuringly.

His brow knits with nerves. “Can we agree to forget about my little freak-out? The embarrassment is worse than the actual incident.”

I mime zipping my lips. Then, I unzip them. “I won’t tell anyone, but you should know, I do find the whole vulnerable imperial guard thing very endearing. Makes you human.”

“Yeah?” His mouth quirks into a begrudging smile.

“Oh, yeah it’s my favorite. Close second is grumpy, nonverbal imperial guard.”

He laughs. The tension eases from his body. Mission accomplished. I made him feel better. Totally what friends do.

I lead him through the forest. We catch up, and I ask about his mother.

“She’s doing as well as can be expected,” he says. “I call as often as I can, but I haven’t been able to visit—” He cuts himself off, but I get it, the distance between them. It’s something I created. I wish I could make it up to him. I could ask for a replacement and relieve Akio of his duties here. But I don’t want to lose him. Selfish, I know. Against my better judgment, I start to suggest something. “If you want…” I’m really going to offer it. “If you would like to go home, I’d be okay with it.”

He looks at me sharply. “Is that what you want?”

“No,” I say way too quickly. “I would understand, though. I’d be sorry to see you go. I’ve grown used to having you around.”

“I don’t want to leave.” He exhales gustily. “I’ve grown accustomed to you as well.”

I lick my lips. “It’s settled, then. You’ll stay.”