Today Tonight Tomorrow(60)
“So you…”
“I mean, I’m not going to give you a play-by-play.”
He coughs again, and it turns into a choking fit. This is it. I have murdered Neil McNair.
He holds up a hand as though to assure me he’s okay. “I’ve learned a lot tonight.”
We’ve reached the senior parking lot on the edge of the library. I’m grateful to refocus on the reason we’re here, because truthfully, the conversation was making me a little feverish. And my brain won’t quit with the other things spiral, summoning a variety of helpful images to fill in the many, many options.
More likely, though, I’m anxious about the breakin. That would account for my increased heart rate.
“I’ll go check these windows,” McNair says, jogging several yards away, and once he leaves my general bubble, I let out a long, shaky breath and rearrange my bangs.
First I try the back library door. It doesn’t budge. “Back door’s locked,” I call to Neil. I push at a window. “Damn it. If anyone spots us here, do you think they’d rob us of our titles? I mean… we’re breaking and entering to return books. They wouldn’t call the police, would they? Since we go here? Or went here? All of these are stuck. There’s supposed to be something you can do with a credit card, right?”
I unearth a card from my backpack and locate a very helpful wikiHow. “It says to wedge the card into the gap between the door and the frame, and—Neil?”
I turn to Neil, who’s suddenly struggling to muffle a laugh. He fantastically fails, the laughter sputtering out.
“What? What’s so funny?”
He shakes his head, doubling over as he clutches his stomach. I get the sense he’s laughing at me.
“Neil McNair. I demand you explain yourself.”
He holds up a finger and digs into his pocket, revealing a key ring. “I—I work here,” he manages to say around a laugh. “Or—worked here. I should probably turn this thing in while we’re here.”
“Seriously? This whole time?” I reach for them, but he holds them out of my grasp. “Why didn’t you tell me you still had a key?” But I’m laughing too. A little bit.
“I wanted to see if you’d actually try to do it. I didn’t think it would go this far. I thought you’d give up sooner.”
“You are the worst,” I say, shoving his shoulder.
Still howling with laughter, he turns the key in the lock, and then we’re in.
* * *
We use the light from our phones to guide us to the circulation desk.
“It’s kind of eerie in here,” I say.
He must sense I’m nervous, because he says in a soft voice, “It’s just us, Artoo.”
“You know, I’ve never seen Star Wars.”
“You haven’t seen the originals,” he corrects, but I shake my head. “Wait. What.” He shines his phone light on my face, making me squint.
“I told you I didn’t know who Yoda was!”
“Yoda is barely in the new ones. I assumed you’d at least seen one of those!”
“I think I saw a few minutes of one at a party? All I remember is a really moody guy all in black.”
“You think? You’d know, Rowan. You’d know,” he says. “We have to watch them.”
Now I turn my phone light on him. And I stare. “We have to watch them?”
He flushes, using a hand to shield his face from my phone’s light. “You have to watch them. Not with me. Why would we do that?”
“I have no idea,” I say, lifting my shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. “You’re the one who suggested it. And now you’re blushing.”
“Because you’re interrogating me!” He whips off his glasses to rub at his eyes. “It was a slip of the tongue. And I hate that too, almost as much as the freckles. It always gives away how I’m feeling. I’ve never been able to talk to a cute girl without turning into a fucking tomato.”
“Would I fall into that category?”
His deepening blush says it all. Huh. Neil McNair thinks I am a cute girl.
“You know you’re not unattractive,” he says after a few seconds of silence. “You don’t need me to validate that.”
True, I don’t, but that doesn’t mean it’s not nice to hear. I must really be starved for compliments if “not unattractive” makes me feel this great about myself, if the warmth in my chest is any indication.
“Should I just leave them here?” I ask, taking the books out of my backpack. “Or should I write a note or something?”
“As much as I’d love to write in calligraphy ‘Rowan Roth’s overdue library books,’ you should probably just drop them in the slot.”
One by one, I feed each book to the return. They land with increasingly loud thumps.
I’ve been at Westview after hours plenty of times. I know this school so well: best locker locations, which vending machines are always out of order, quickest route to the gym for assemblies. But tonight… it really is spooky. It doesn’t feel like my school.
I guess it isn’t anymore.
We should go, I try to say, because I want so badly to win that money for him, but instead, I find myself drifting toward the stacks. Neil follows me. The library may be eerie, but it’s also peaceful.