Through A Glass, Darkly (The Assassins of Youth MC #1)(73)

He stayed wedged inside me for a long time. It seemed as if someone knocked on the door and opened it a sliver, but I didn’t care. I was in a safe place—the clubhouse of the Assassins of Youth, Avalanche Chapter. It didn’t get much safer than this, pinned by the Prez to the wall covered with a country rock poster. Those Prospects, those newbies outside in the bar area, it was their job to protect us. They could just wait.

At length, Gideon withdrew. I loved the warm rush of semen that trickled down my inner thigh. He looked warmly at me. I touched the tip of my nose to the drop of sweat on the tip of his nose. His panting against my throat forced a massive shiver up my spine.

“Ah, shit,” I said. I was starting to swear like a biker because I was around them twenty-four seven. “I forgot to tell you. My sisters—”

“Your sisters are here,” echoed Dingo from the doorway.

“Thanks!” I called out, rearranging my clothing into a presentable style. “Yes. I forgot to tell you. Last night I texted my sister Oaklyn. They’ve been dying to come down and meet you. I told her today would be a good day. I hope that’s all right.” I was already accustomed to the practice of asking my man’s permission before doing something. That wasn’t a fundamentalist tradition. That was a biker’s.

“Of course. And the other one’s name?”

“Cambria. Oaklyn’s the nurse.”

“Ah. I’ll remember that. Like Oakland, California.”

“Sort of. Mormons have creative ways of spelling names. But Cambria’s spelled just like the town in California. It’s confusing.”

I made as if to go—Dingo was waiting right outside in the hallway, I could tell—but Gideon took hold of my upper arms.

“Hey. I wanted you to know, I’m beginning to understand your beliefs.”

I smiled. “Beliefs?” There were plenty of them, to be sure.

“Yes. I think I know that our existence hides a core that holds all of our eternal past and future, right?”

I was surprised. “Yes. Something like that. That’s good.”

“But within this framework, we have utter free will.”

“Yes! Utter free will, yes.”

“I could’ve run from you. I could’ve said to myself ‘shit, she’s high maintenance. She’s too hot to handle.’”

My smile faded. “You could have, yes. I’m not the most attractive flower in the bunch. And I have a child with another man.”

He never lost his idealistic smile. “But the fact that I didn’t, that I fought hard for you, means my love is deeper for it. Why would someone give up something that’s so hard-won? I fought like a bitch for you, Mahalia. There was a reason for that. You’re a stunning goddess. Your haunted eyes tell me your whole story. But there’s more hidden at your core. And I want to know everything about you.”

I had to laugh, I was so overcome with emotion. “You’ll be waiting a long time to find out all of that.”

Gideon bent to kiss me, but Oaklyn was shrieking, “Mahalia! We finally found you!”

Cambria added, “This tiny burg is hard as hell to find.”

“I couldn’t keep them out of the hallway,” Dingo said apologetically.

There would be plenty of time for Gideon to kiss me. I trusted him with my life and the life of my precious daughter. That meant we’d be together, sealed unto all eternity.

I took my sisters out into the bar area, where several Assassins drooled over them. I was off the antianxiety medication after weaning myself slowly, and Oaklyn wanted my unused bottle. She’d been having a hard time with the guy she was dating. I went behind the bar to find my purse. That’s when Dingo told me the club had approved a trip to Bountiful for him to bring back some of his fellow Lost Boys. He saw me taking the bottle from my purse.

“I don’t try to kill myself anymore.” He was always so open and unpretentious, just a babe in the woods. “When you come out of that depression, it isn’t easy. Now I have a whole life to look forward to. I actually want to live. That’s new to me. Even before I was kicked out of Cornucopia, I wanted to die.”

I nodded with sympathy. “It’s a whole new era, Prospect.” I kissed his cheek in a motherly way and took my bottle of “happy pills” to my sister.

Frank Kafka said “anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” I used to feel unimaginably old beyond my years. Allred Chiles seemed to suck the very life force from me, leaving me a withered husk of a woman.

Now I was alive, vibrant. Gideon and his newly formed band of brothers were responsible for that. I’d never be alone in a crowd again. Now the crowd was my family.