Three Day Summer(42)
It’s hard to believe at all. Where I was today. Who I was with.
I can’t believe Cora’s not here with me to hear Janis. Not after Janis called her “sister.”
A brass section wails on Janis’s song and I watch the top of Amanda’s head in front of me, moving in time to the music. In the dark of night, I can almost pretend her hair is jet black, that she is someone else entirely.
And that’s completely unfair, isn’t it? If there’s one thing Janis’s voice is pleading with me to do, it’s this: Man up. I should tell Amanda that it’s over.
And then, as if I dreamt her back into life, Cora is suddenly beside us again. I stare at her, for a moment positive it’s a hallucination, even though I haven’t taken anything all day. But then I see Rob grin at her too.
“Hey, Miss Cora is back,” he says.
Everyone turns to her now and she gives a wave and a smile back, but it’s directed at Rob. She hardly even looks at me. “Figured I can’t really miss the greatest rock concert of all time when it’s right in my backyard. Right?”
“No, ma’am,” Rob counters.
She walks over to him and I follow her with my eyes. Trying to think of something to say. Amanda looks from my face to Cora’s, a scowl screwing up her features.
“What about your dad murdering you?” Amanda demands of Cora.
“Yeah,” Cora says. “Screw him.”
My jaw almost drops. Cora is a surprising girl but I still never expected her to say that.
Rob laughs, though. “Yeah, screw all the parents,” he says.
Cora smiles. “Screw all the parents!”
Rob takes the opportunity to lift her hand and then spin her around underneath it before bringing his arms behind her back to end in an impressive dip. Cora laughs.
Smooth freakin’ *.
“This is Janis, right?” Cora asks him.
“The one and only,” he responds.
“Do you know I met her today?”
“What? Get out of here, you big liar,” Rob says.
“Nuh-uh,” she says. “Totally met her.” And I immediately realize she said “I met her,” not “we met her.”
She launches into a version of our story that doesn’t include me and I feel like shit.
Cora is here, but she’s really not. She’s not here with me.
chapter 49
Cora
After I tell Rob my story, I listen to Janis Joplin, really listen to her, for the first time. I’ve heard a song or two from her before but before today, she wasn’t a real person to me. She wasn’t someone you could have a conversation with, someone who could buy you a drink.
Now that she is, I think I finally understand why someone would be so obsessed with music. Everything Janis is and has ever felt, she’s pouring out onto the stage right now. She’s inviting us all in to witness it. It takes my breath away, the bravery of it.
Eventually—too soon—Janis’s set ends and Rob gets extra-excited because Sly and the Family Stone come on next. I can’t make out much on the stage; the lights they have up there don’t seem powerful enough to counter the darkness of a country night. But I can tell there are a lot of band members and, of course, as soon as the music starts the vibe completely changes. This is dancing, party music and all around me, people are jumping around and swaying wildly.
Rob takes me for another spin and I let him. Every time I twirl or swing or dip I keep my eyes trained to look away from Michael. It’s pretty impressive, actually. Like my own psychological choreography.
About a half hour into their set, Sly asks the audience to join him in a sing-along. “Most of us need approval from our neighbors,” he starts out, before asking us to shun that concept and sing the word “higher” with him, throwing our peace signs into the air. “It’ll do you no harm,” he claims.
At first, I just watch everyone around me following suit. But then Rob grabs my hand and makes me pump it into the air. “Get into it!” he yells, as he starts yelling “higher” in time with the rest of the crowd.
I smile and say it softly at first, but as it goes on and on and everyone is shouting, I do too. Why shouldn’t I? “Still again, some people feel that they shouldn’t,” Sly says from the stage, again encouraging us to “get in on something that could do you some good” without worry about embarrassment or approval. I realize Sly is speaking directly to me. I raise my arm higher, wave my two fingers in the air, and yell into the damp night. The red Hog Farm fabric still wrapped around my wrist glows bright against the starry sky like a triumphant banner. I close my eyes to savor how amazing it all feels.
Except that emblazoned on the back of my eyelids is the silhouette of a person I haven’t looked at in hours. Michael.
I immediately open my eyes and fix them on Rob, whose head is swinging wildly to the music.
Rob is beautiful, just like when I first saw him. He’s also energetic, fun, and funny. Most importantly, he doesn’t do weird things to my stomach or make me think too hard about things like feelings. Feelings are crap. That’s why I’m going to be a doctor, dealing with the wonderful, solid world of physical ailments.
Sly has gone into the “higher” chorus again and it’s louder than ever, now that everyone is taking his advice and not waiting for approval from their neighbors.