Thin Love (Thin Love, #1)(51)

When she moved her knees in, pulling him closer to her and Kona could feel that sweet, hot warmth rubbing against his dick, he jerked back, wanting to slow down, wanting every touch to be different, to be just for her. He needed to feel her, needed her beautiful blue eyes looking at him, seeing him when he touched her. This was too fast. This was too practiced and with Keira, Kona didn’t want speed and quick release. He wanted all of her.

Damnit. How had that happened?

“Wait,” he said, taking her arms away from his shoulders before he sat up. “Hang on.”

Keira followed him, lips on his neck, fingers tugging his hair. “What’s wrong?” she said between bites to his ear.

“We have to stop.”

“What?” She slid back, resting against the headboard. “Why?”

Kona didn’t know how to explain himself. How do you tell a woman who clearly wants you, who you clearly want, that you want to take your time with her? That you don’t want the moment over too quickly? Eyes shifting to her face, Kona felt like Keira had sucker punched him. That expression transformed instantly, working from confusion to anger before he could blink twice.

“We need to slow down.”

Kona wished he could read her mind. Most of the time, he didn’t need to; whatever Keira was thinking was typically written on her face in the way her big eyes narrowed to small slits or how those full lips pinched tight like a corkscrew. But, Kona had noticed in the past few weeks that Keira had learned to guard her expressions around him. She’d learned how to hold back and hide at least some of what she was thinking. He didn’t like it and he especially didn’t like the frown she gave him then, how she pulled her knees to her chest like she was trying to keep him away from her.

“I get it.” Kona thought she really didn’t. That frown on her face hardened, dipped so that there were barely noticeable lines around the corners of her mouth. “It’s fine.” He reached for her when she left the bed, but Keira was fast, slight and she moved quickly to the door. “I’ll see you later,” she said, hand on the doorknob.

She kept her gaze down, the expression on her face telling him she was either mad or embarrassed, but he still came in front of her, shoulder against the door. When he reached for her face, Keira lurched back as though she couldn’t stand his touch.

“You really don’t get it, Wildcat.”

“Don’t call me that.” He knew she was angry. She only told him not to call her Wildcat when she was angry or annoyed. He tried again and this time she let him touch her face, though she closed her eyes, hiding from him.

“Keira, look at me.” Hand shifted to the back of her neck, he pulled her toward him. “What’s wrong?”

When she answered him, lids blinking and barely glancing at him, Kona wanted to punch something. “I don’t do it for you. I get it.” Finally, she looked at him fully. “I know I’m not like the girls you’re usually with. I’m not Tony—”

“Shut up.” He shifted, moved fast to trap her against the door, forced her chin up so she would look at him. “No. You’re not like them. You’re nothing like them. You’re so much more.”

“But you stopped touching me.”

Her voice was so small then and on any other girl, the tone might sound whiney and weak. But Keira was neither, and in her expression Kona saw real confusion, real hurt. That look gutted him, had the anger in his chest cooling.

“I want you.” When she laughed, a defeated, pathetic sound, Kona’s irritation bubbled. “I want you so much, Wildcat.” He grabbed her hand, brushed it over his still hard and aching dick.

She pulled her hand away and tried to push against his chest. “You’re twenty, Kona. You’d get hard with the right breeze on a windy day.” When she elbowed him, pushing his chest with her arm, Kona grabbed her, picked her up again before he shoved her on the bed. “Get off me.” Keira’s twisting body, flailing limbs and arms were weak, a halfhearted defense and Kona knew she didn’t want him going anywhere.

“Stop it,” he said, catching her chin when she twisted her head away from him. “Just stop.” He attacked her mouth, pouring into that kiss all the scattered things fighting for control in his mind. Lust, desire, compassion, tenderness; Kona wanted to give them all to Keira. He leaned back and Keira was breathless. He loved her like that. “Fucking is too easy and I remember you said you don’t want easy.” She fought a smile and the tension in her body eased. “I’m trying to give you what you want, Wildcat.”

She rolled her eyes, but Kona knew she wasn’t angry anymore. “I get CPU’s whormeister in my bed and he just wants to kiss me.”

Exhaling, Kona rolled onto his side, pulling Kiera toward him. “I could f*ck you and it would be good.”

Keira punched his shoulder. “Thanks. Nice having that salt just flooding into my wound.”

“I’m saying, Wildcat. You don’t want good. You want great. Fucking is easy. Fucking is expected and I do want you.” He pulled her even closer, directing her leg over his. “I want you so much that this screaming voice in my head is telling me to shut the hell up and get you naked. But you’re better than this. You’re better than any of this and when I have you, when I have all of you, Wildcat, it won’t be easy and fast.” Kona kissed her forehead and Keira looked up at him. “When I have you, it’ll be slow and long and it will leave you panting.”