Thin Love (Thin Love, #1)(165)
Kona’s words are like a spell, weaving hope, eagerness into her. She lets him kiss her forehead, pepper them over her face. Until her tears are full, brimming over her lashes and onto her face.
“The other night… you asked me.” She looks up at him, then back down at her hands. Tears flowing. “You asked me how long it’s been.”
“I did.”
“Too long, Kona.” Keira thinks shame should come, maybe embarrassment, but it doesn’t. If Kona wants honesty, if he wants her raw, then she’ll spill all her secrets, give them to him one last time. “Ten years.” His eyes widen, mouth open. “I tried once. Only the one time.” Keira dries her face, shaking her head at herself. “I got drunk. Went to a bar and ran into a friend of mine. This guy I knew from the Bluebird. He was a good man. He was sweet and I just wanted to forget that I had a kid at home that needed so much from me. I wanted to forget that I was alone. That I had been alone so long. I… I slept with him… I slept with him and cried the whole time.”
When that flame shoots over her cheeks, Keira covers her face, driving out the memory of that man and how helpless he looked when every time he kissed her, touched her, she jerked, twitched as though she couldn’t stand to feel him against her skin. But she made him continue; she replaced his long, thin fingers, a guitarist’s fingers, with wide hands and big knuckles. She pretended that it was Kona touching her, loving her and when that failed to calm her, she’d let the tears comes.
“Keira…”
Head lowered, Keira threads her fingers together, stares at the chipping paint on her fingernails. “I’m gonna need your help, bebe. You’re gonna have to remind me how to love you again.”
“I will. We’ll figure it out together.” Kona stands, pulls Keira up so he can take her hair between her fingers, so his mouth is closer to hers. “We were kids when we loved each other. We were fire and passion and obsession. You were right about that.”
“And now?” She holds her breath waiting for his words. Keira ignores the voice telling her this is pointless, that what she’s tried to bury should stay in the past.
“Now we’re whole. Now we’re thick, so thick, baby that we can’t breathe.”
The fear is still present, still bites into her limbs. “That doesn’t sound healthy.”
“Then we just need to hold onto each other.” Kona’s kiss is brief, too fleeting and Keira has to hold herself still, keep from following him when he leans away from her. “Remember what you said to me once? ‘I don’t want easy. I want impossible. I want love so thick, I drown in it.’” Kona nuzzles her nose, rests against her forehead with that breath, that warm, tingling heat fanning against her face. “Keira, come drown with me.”
The delay is brief, a moment that shifts the breath on her skin, that fractures any lingering doubt from her mind. Kona Hale was her always. He was her past, the part of herself Keira thought she could forget. But as she stares at him, as he waits for her answer, a small gesture that makes his features relax, Keira realizes that there is no hole deep enough, no grave dark enough that could keep their love dead. It hadn’t died, not really. It went untended, untouched for sixteen years, but it always remained tethered, always took up space in her broken heart. Now it filled the spaces of that dead muscle, it inflated the withered bits left weak by the past, by the punishment Keira had forced upon herself for years.
Now it was large and beating, shuddering and wild.
And it belonged completely to Kona.
She doesn’t answer him. She doesn’t say “yes” or “I love you.” Keira simply rises, lifts closer to him and kisses Kona like it is the first time. He takes that kiss and Keira smiles against his mouth, loving the sweet groan he releases and then, Keira kisses him harder, surer, pulls herself around him, arms on his neck, legs around his waist, tongue working in his mouth so fierce, so quick that Kona staggers back, falling against the wall.
“Baby. Jesus.” Kona’s chest is beautiful, strong, moves quickly as Keira pops open his shirt, untucks it. His hands are everywhere all at once; on her hips, down her thighs, pulling down her thin yoga pants, cupping her.
“Oh God, Kona.” Keira manages a breath, a small break from his mouth before he slips his fingers inside her. “Wait… oh… let’s… let go to my room.”
“No,” he says, two fingers now moving in her center, straight to that sweet knot he’d always loved to tease. “You, me, against the wall.” Keira’s eyes roll up, her shoulders shake when Kona attacks her neck, nibbling up to her ear. “I don’t wanna wait. Not anymore.”
A flurry of limbs, quick, wild groans, fingers moving, mouths sucking and before Keira can register what is happening, Kona slides into her, body raw, hot against her, his wide dick moving easy, smooth, over and over.
“Say you’re mine, Keira.” He thrusts, moves her hips over him, fingers digging into her skin. But she can’t speak, can barely manage to keep hold of his shoulders. “Tell me, baby.” Another thrust that has Keira trembling and Kona turns them so that Keira’s shoulders move against the wall.
“I’m yours, bebe.” She clenches, spasms against his dick and smiles at the way Kona moves his head, how he squints at the sensation. “I’ve always been yours.”