Thick & Thin (Thin Love, #3)(11)
“And I was rehearsing.”
“You yelled at me.”
“I did.” I grinned, meaning it. “You deserved it.”
“When you stood there, all out of breath, fire blazing in those big green eyes, I thought you were the single most gorgeous woman I’d ever see in my life.”
There was an intensity in Ethan’s eyes that surprised me. I’d been with Ransom for six years. I knew a thing or two about intensity and passion. With Ethan, it was a little different. Subtler, maybe? A different kind of desperate, a fear of running out of time rather than desire, that was a little overwhelming. He turned me on much more than he should have. I’d been accustomed to the giant caveman type, demanding, expecting. I’d even gotten off on it, mostly. So Ethan’s subtle passion was a change that I welcomed. “You liked me mad.”
“I liked you.” He moved closer and I didn’t tense up or let my worry over the impromptu proposal keep me wary. Ethan didn’t seem to care about anything other than the nearness of our bodies and the act of holding my face between his fingers. “Now I love you. Now I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Yeah, I got that hint,” I said, laughing as I wiggled my ring at him.
A small shake of his head and Ethan’s voice softened. “But I also know that I sprung this on you. I…I honestly didn’t think you’d say yes.”
He watched the lift of my eyebrows, how I tilted my head. “Then why ask?”
“I couldn’t stop myself.”
Light from the street outside the glass door reflected inside that lobby, painting Ethan’s face so bright that his gray eyes lightened further. He was impulsive, something I loved about him, but even when the mood struck and that impulsive nature had him clamoring, desperate for my lips, the slide of my fingers in his hair, Ethan could keep cool. Even now, with his mild drop in caution, one that he seemed to forget would advertise his intentions toward me as he moved closer, Ethan still maintained his calm, stayed in control. It was a welcome change to what I was used to.
With my back against the wall and the flicker of New Orleans traffic zipping past us, Ethan’s gaze slipped left, right, then lowered to my mouth, his breath tickling my nose, then he touched my cheek, moving my face like a puppet master and I was too caught by the warmth in his eyes, the press of his fingertips against my skin to do more than move air in and out of my lungs.
“Here,” he said, the word a flit of breath over my mouth. “This is where I always want to be.”
This man had always kissed me with purpose. I felt what he thought, the passionate emotion that he tried so desperately to control in every stroke of his tongue against mine. Just then, he didn’t hold back. Just then, that passion would not be contained.
He pressed his weight again me, fingers firm over my face, releasing the slowest, hungry sound when I kissed him back. Why wouldn’t I? Ethan was beautiful. He was smart and fun and crazy about me. I was attracted to him, cared a hell of a lot about him. What woman wouldn’t crave the attention he gave so willingly?
“Aly…” Ethan moved just inches enough from my lips to breathe that small request before he kissed me again. “I want you so badly.”
“Ethan…” I wasn’t sure if his name from my mouth was a plea to him or a warning to myself. I only knew the day had nearly toppled me and just then, with the flash of Ransom’s smile, his tempting yet frustrating words still buzzing in my mind, I knew that I didn’t want to be alone.
“Please, beautiful.” This Ethan spoke along my neck, damp lips sliding down to my collarbone. “I want to feel you all over me. Everywhere, Aly.”
It would be easy. Drop my guard, give in to the man who thought he loved me, the one who’d level no expectations at me. The one who wouldn’t expect me to linger in the shadows. Maybe the promises Ethan made wouldn’t be broken. Maybe not every man was like Ransom, promising and never delivering.
A slip of his tongue against the hollow of my throat, the quick brush of his hips grazing mine, advertising how much he wanted me and I almost gave in. But then, another flash of memory, a smile I loved, a smile not attached to the man I said I’d marry and I froze where I stood, biting the inside of my cheek when Ethan stopped kissing me.
He didn’t sigh or grumble that my body had caught up with my mind, that he felt my hesitance in the way I held myself. Instead, Ethan inched away, putting the smallest amount of space between us as he took my hands and laced our fingers together, watching the contrast of our skin. “Is it me?” His tone was wary, as though he knew how ridiculous that question was.
He kept on, looking down so as not to pressure me, as I focused on the knot in his tie. There were too many thoughts creeping into my mind. Too much emotion that I didn’t know how to handle. “I know you gave me a ring. I know that’s supposed to mean…”
“That’s not…no…” Ethan pulled my chin up, eyes a little wild, eager but then he moved his eyebrows together, giving his features an expression that I didn’t like seeing on that handsome face. “I didn’t ask you to marry me so I could get you in my bed.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?” It was an honest question and not the first time he’d asked me about my feelings, how uncertain I was. Next would come Ransom’s name. It always did and Ethan, bless him, would ask if I still loved him, if I needed more time. I would. Somehow, though I went to great lengths to convince myself otherwise, I knew I always would.