The Way to Game the Walk of Shame(71)

Mrs. Willard looked down at her feet. “Actually, his dad asked Evan to live with him in Destin next year while he goes to college. And he said yes.”

Bam! The world crashed at my feet. I sank back into the couch and stared at her. Destin? But—but that was so far. How could he—where was he—and college? When did he even get accepted? It was like I had missed out on everything.

“Honestly, I’m actually proud that he made this decision. Don’t tell him I said that, though.” Mrs. Willard pretended to zip her lips. “I’m still counting on guilt-tripping him into coming back here to visit as often as he can.”

“Okay…”

“It was actually because of you that all of this even happened,” she continued with a grateful smile as she grasped my hand. “To be honest, I was worried about Evan. I didn’t know what he was going to do with his life. But he told me that you helped him find schools to apply for, and one of them just happened to be Troy University in Florida. Isn’t that a coincidence?”

It was a coincidence. I remembered looking at the Troy University brochure and thinking how pretty the campus looked. Of course, it was Florida, so it was sunny with colorful flowers everywhere. That was actually one of the few I helped Evan with. Even as we filled it out, I didn’t think much of it because of his nonchalant attitude. I didn’t realize how far it was and what would actually happen if Evan got in. I didn’t think it through. At all. “When is he leaving?”

“Right after graduation. His dad already got him a job at the fisherman’s wharf on the weekends for some extra cash. His first day is a week after graduation.”

“Oh.” It looked like everything was already planned. But where did that leave me? Evan had his life all set, while I still didn’t know what I was doing. How’s that for irony?

Just then, the house phone rang, interrupting my daze. Mrs. Willard moved backward toward the kitchen. “Let me get that. It might be Brandon calling about dinner.”

As soon as she left, I fumbled with my phone and pulled up various airline websites. Maybe it would still be possible to visit each other and be together. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.

Maybe.

Twenty minutes later, my phone dropped to my lap. It wasn’t bad. It was really bad. Plane tickets from Florida to New York were about $300 round-trip. Maybe $200 if I booked it a few months in advance and didn’t mind two stops on the way. I didn’t, if it meant I could see Evan.

Assuming that Evan did want to give our relationship a shot, how would this work? I was already saving everything I had for rent and stuff in New York. I didn’t have extra money to visit Evan. And I couldn’t imagine Brandon giving him any money to see me. Evan would probably have to work overtime.

And would it even be enough? Relationships were hard enough as it was without being a thousand miles apart. Literally. Columbia was 1,215 miles away from Troy University. I looked it up.

Even if we could somehow work it out, he still had to use some money to visit his mom as much as he could. I couldn’t take that away from her. I didn’t want to distract him and have him worry about me, too. Be his burden. He had enough on his plate already. School. A new job. His family. His new relationship with his dad. This was his chance to reconnect with him. He’d waited so long for this, and he couldn’t screw any of it up.

My fist clenched around the coin necklace around my throat. I won’t let him.

Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I sighed. The thought of not seeing Evan every day was painful. I was already missing him. But if there were this many obstacles, this many problems now, what would it be like later? It was better to end it now, here, before I—we—did something stupid. It was the best thing for everybody. Our futures were already set. Our dreams were on the right course. It’s just too bad that they were in opposite directions.

Making up my mind, I took off his necklace—the first time I’d taken it off since he put it on for me.

Mrs. Willard came back into the living room just as I got up. “Are you leaving already? I thought you were going to talk to Evan?”

“No, I have to go home.” My fingers ran through my hair, tugging it forward a bit to hide the fact that I was lying. And the tears that I was fighting back. I held out the necklace to her. “Could you just give this back to him for me?”

She took it from me with a confused look on her face. “But—”

I backed up out of her reach. “I—I really have to go. Thanks for everything, Mrs. Willard.”

Before she could say my name or try to call me back, I ran out of the house. I jumped into Mom’s car and drove home, all the while trying my hardest to keep the tears from pouring out. Because I knew once I let them go, they wouldn’t stop.

When I got home, Dad was waiting for me on the front porch with a huge grin on his face. In his hands was a large yellow envelope with a Columbia return-address label. It was thick and bulky. Way too bulky to just be a rejection letter.

Which meant that they accepted me. Finally, everything I had worked for, suffered for, and given up was all worth it. I got what I always wanted. My dream of going to Columbia and living in New York was finally coming true. I should have been elated. Ecstatic.

So why did I feel so empty? Like I could practically see the thousand miles between New York and Florida paved out in front of me.