The Way to Game the Walk of Shame(57)

He was also kind. And funny. And sweet. Though we didn’t care about the same things, he always made an effort about things that were important to him. And he had a vulnerable side to him that made me want to protect him.

My hand reached up to grasp the necklace, playing with the coin. “I don’t know. I still don’t know how I feel about him. I mean, who says I even like him?”

Carly gawked at me like I was stupid. “Uh, you think about him constantly. You talk about him all the time. You miss him when he’s not around. And you make out with him enough to make me blush.” She smacked me on the head with the pillow. “Guess what? That means you like him, you dummy! I thought you were supposed to be smart?”

I blocked the pillow with my forearm before she gave me a concussion. “Okay, okay! Maybe I do kind of like him. But it takes two to actually start dating. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Or worse, he calls off this whole thing because he’s afraid of leading me on? What if actually trying to advance our relationship ruins our relationship? Then what?”

Carly blinked at me. “You think way too much. Just take it one step at a time. You don’t need to have all the answers now.”

“But I do.” I gnawed on my lower lip. That was who I’d always been. I planned things. I prepared for them. I made sure everything I did worked toward my goal. Whether it was going to Columbia or just a summer vacation to SeaWorld. Everything needed to go according to plan. Everything needed to be logical and make sense. And Evan … wasn’t part of the plan. At all.

But that was the best thing about Evan. He didn’t fit into any of my neat slots. He never did what I expected him to. Every time I learned something new, something surprising, about him, it only made me want to know more. And be closer to him. But did that mean I loved him?

Dad knocked, interrupting us, before opening the door. “Taylor, I have a letter for you.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I wondered how much of our conversation he had heard. Probably not much, since he didn’t look very mad today. That was an improvement.

He shifted his weight from side to side. The same way I did whenever I was nervous about something. “So, I couldn’t help noticing that you’ve been getting some letters from other colleges.”

I glanced down at the letter he handed me. My thumb scratched at the return label on the envelope. “Yeah, the counselor made me fill out the applications, even though I told her I was going to Columbia. Kind of a waste of time, but it was good practice filling out applications.” I tossed it on the desk with the others.

Carly grabbed the letters. “Let me see this.” She scanned each one, and her eyes grew bigger and bigger until I thought they were going to pop out of her skull. “Cornell. Yale? Seriously? These are your backup schools? God, my mom would die to have you be her daughter.” She held each letter up to the light and squinted. “This one from Loyola is pretty thick, too. I’m pretty sure you got in.”

My jaw tightened, and I looked down at my hands on my lap. “They’re not backup schools, because I don’t need backups. I’m going to Columbia.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carly and Dad shoot each other a look. “Of course you are,” Carly said. “And, uh, have you heard anything back from them yet?”

“No, but I know they’ll reconsider after the Career Day program. I’ve been working on an introduction speech that will knock the socks off the guest speaker.” My voice barely trembled.

I wished I were as confident as I sounded. The truth was that I was terrified. I was terrified that I was going to mess up the presentation. That I wasn’t going to get accepted and that I would have to go somewhere else. The counselor didn’t push me to fill out these applications—I did. Just in case I failed.

Dad took a couple of steps into my room and patted my head. His big hand was heavy but comforting on top of my hair. “I’m sure you can go wherever you want. Whether it’s Columbia, Yale, or a clown college. You’ll be a star, no matter what.”

I gave him a small smile. “Thanks, Dad.”

“No problem.” He cleared his throat and reached into his pocket for two twenties. “Why don’t you two go out? Watch a movie or something? Relax a bit.”

“I thought I was grounded?”

“Today can be an exception. You can be grounded again tomorrow.”

Carly swiped the cash and waved it at Dad. “Thanks, Mr. Simmons. I’ll make sure Taylor gets back home in time for dinner.”

He nodded and after giving my head another pat, he left.

Carly laid the two bills on the bed between us. “So do you actually want to go to the movies, or do you want to see Evan? I don’t mind covering for you if you want to hang out with him tonight.”

It was a simple question, but I knew what she was really asking. My normal life or Evan? Plans or risks?

She sat there and watched me. I knew Carly was dying to tell me exactly what to do, but she didn’t. Even though she told me not to think, she knew I needed to think and rationalize everything out anyway. And that’s why she was my best friend. She gave me tough love and told me what she thought, but she left me to make my own decisions.

My fingertips tapped on the twenties. I kind of wished this were one of the times when she would tell me what to do. “Let’s just go to the movies for now.”