The Way to Game the Walk of Shame(17)
I held up a hand. “Hold on, just the other morning you were very, very insistent that we didn’t know each other, and now you want us to start dating?” The dog on my lap let out a sharp bark and dug his claws into my shorts. “Ow. See? Even the dog thinks this is a stupid idea.”
Taylor flushed and took him from me. “His name is Oreo, and that’s not what I meant.”
I eyed his two black ears and white face. “Clever name.”
“Thanks. My little sister thought of it.” She scooped him up and set him outside in one fluid motion. He stood at the door and stared at us for a minute or two before trotting off to lie on the deck and sunbathe, belly side up.
“So what did you mean about the dating?” My gaze ran up and down her body, taking in her wrinkled, baggy, purple-and-blue-striped PJs. The pants were so long that they covered her toes and practically doubled as socks. “’Cause, no offense, but you’re not exactly my type,” I said with a wink.
Her nose flared twice before turning as red as the rest of her face. She scooted around the countertop until the bottom half of her was out of sight. “None taken, because god knows you’re not my type, either.”
Ouch. Apparently the Ice Queen had claws like her dog. “You still didn’t answer my question.”
She leaned back and stared at her nails in deep concentration. “I just meant that we should pretend to date.”
I lifted a hand to my chest and sighed with pretend relief. “Thank god. I thought you remembered how incredibly sexy I was and realized that you loved me after all. Or that you’re pregnant and you want to raise this child right. You know, I think Elizabeth’s a nice name for a baby. We could call her Lizzie. I dated a waitress named Lizzie once. Real sweet girl.”
Her entire face was purple now. Taylor leaned forward. Her dark eyes seemed brighter than usual as she glared at me. Her hands gripped the counter to keep her balance. “I do not love you. And we do not have a baby. We didn’t even have sex!”
“Ah, but you’re not denying that you think I’m sexy.”
Her mouth dropped open, and I thought she was going to yell at me again. Instead, she covered her face with both hands and laughed. A loud, uncontrollable laugh that was both deep and squeaky at the same time, weird as it was. Weirder was the fact that I liked the sound. It made me smile.
She laughed so hard that tears streamed down her face and she was practically gasping for breath. Alarmed, I half stood up and reached for her, but Taylor just brushed me off and grabbed napkins to wipe her face. I couldn’t help smiling a bit as I watched her. She was so different from all the other girls I dated. Fresh-faced, simple, girl-next-door.
I waited until she drank more of her orange juice and swallowed before continuing. No need for her to shower me with orange juice and spit. “Okay, now that I know you’re not going to die from my one-liners, can you explain?”
“Well, it’s a fact that everyone knows that we were together the other night. Even though nothing happened,” Taylor quickly said when I opened my mouth with another pun about one-night stands. “Nobody’s going to believe us. So to save our reputations, I thought we could pretend that we’ve been dating all along. That way they won’t think there’s anything wrong with the fact that we were together at the party and that night.”
“Reputations? Seriously? Are we in the eighteen hundreds? Did my time machine finally work?”
To my surprise, she picked up a couple of stapled pages that I hadn’t noticed on the counter and handed them to me. “Everything’s listed here, so it’ll be easier if you would just read it.”
I flipped through the pages with wide eyes. There were freaking five typed pages. I repeat, five pages. She was kidding, right? What the hell did she need to talk about for this long? “You’re very thorough.”
She paced back and forth. “Thanks.”
“That wasn’t exactly a compliment.” I skimmed the first page. “So you want me to sign this contract and pretend to date you for the next couple of weeks?”
“It’s not really an official contract.”
“There’s a line for our signatures.”
“Well, it’s really more of a formality, so we’ll both know where we stand in this … relationship.” Taylor stopped and faced me. Her hands were on either side of her hips in a defensive stance. “Come on, this could benefit us both.”
I scoffed in disbelief. “Really? ’Cause all I hear is you, you, you. Honestly, I don’t see why I need to agree to this.”
“Because you’re a generous and helpful person?” She snorted at the shocked look on my face. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t even get through that. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Hm, touché. Apparently her sweet exterior was just a front. I wondered what other secrets she was hiding from the world. “If this is how you plan to convince me, I’ll tell you now that you’re failing miserably,” I said drily.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Again.” She coughed and attempted to look serious. And failed. “Let’s just think of it rationally. Think of how much respect you’d get from the teachers once they find out you’re dating me. All the teachers at Nathan Wilks love me.”
“Okay, first off, you better rein that ego back. You are not as great as you think you are. And secondly,” I said loudly when she opened her mouth to respond. “Teachers like me just fine. I may not have a 5.0 or whatever crazy average you have with your extra classes and overachieving self, but I do have an average GPA. Above average, actually, since I usually get B’s.”