The Truth About Keeping Secrets(70)

Nowhere to go.

We were halfway down the road.

‘We can’t do this here,’ June said. But her voice was hopeless; she’d realized what I’d realized: there was no way out. June in the back seat. June more frightened than I’d ever seen anyone. June resigned after her options had run out. June without a plan. Did I have a plan?

‘We can’t do this anywhere any more. I’m done, June. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done.’

Heath. Heath in the driver’s seat. Dad. Swerve, smash, gone. Lungs popped like a balloon. Popped like a balloon.

The accelerator whined; we were nearly there now. In ten seconds we’d reach the sign on the left that said RIVER STYX, and two seconds after that we’d be at the drop.

I would not fear death.

Do it. I had to do it.

And once I realized that, an explicable sense of calm fell over me.

‘June,’ I said, ‘can you just talk to me?’

‘Sydney …’

‘Please.’

Heath shouted something, but I wasn’t listening any more, because I didn’t fucking care. All that stood between me and eternity was the tree line and I at least wanted her to talk to me. ‘OK,’ she said, ‘so, everything is gonna be fine. Right?’

Seven months since. Seven months since. A million months since. A million years since. Where am I? Where is he?

‘And I want you to know that I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me –’

June grabbed for me.

‘– and that I’m so, so sorry.’

We were at the tree line.

I will not go gentle into that –

It was so funny; I had never said it to myself before. I’d never said the words. But God, I loved June Copeland. I didn’t love her unselfishly. I didn’t love her healthily. But I loved her so badly it hurt.

I will go gentle into that –

‘Sydney, you are so wonderful, and I know what you’re thinking and you need to do it now.’

Find me somewhere in the ether; I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you for good.

I lunged, grabbed the wheel and heaved.

We barrelled past the tree line. No vision. No sound. Just tumbling, and throbbing, and crashing, flesh and bones and muscle, no up or down or sideways; there were screams but I had no earthly idea which one of us they’d come from. But I would not take my hands off the wheel. Even as Heath’s body crashed against mine, I would not.

Trees reached and scraped and tried to stop us, and the world exploded in perfect incandescent symmetry.

And then we slowed.

Rolled. Rocked backwards.

Stopped. We had stopped.

Breathe.

Breathe.

I assessed.

Alive. I was distinctly alive.

Heath was trying frantically to get the car to move, flooring the gas, but it wouldn’t; the tyres sputtered uselessly below us, no traction to propel us forward.

Quicksand.

We’d made it to the quicksand.

My vision returned; just barely, because all I could see was the glow of the headlights and the steady rain falling within it.

It was so quiet. Where were the screams?

The back seat was quiet.

June.

The window beside her head was smashed, tiny sparkling shards of glass clinging to her hair. Her forehead glistened red. She didn’t move.

‘June,’ I said once, but no sound came out, so I said it again.

She stirred. Moaned.

I gasped for air. ‘June, come on …’

Heath groaned beside me. ‘You fucker. You fucking …’ I leaned over to unlock the doors, but before I could do anything to stop him, he grabbed me by my throat. A searing pain rocked me and I could do nothing to stop the cry that billowed out. I clawed helplessly at his grip – until I caught a glimpse of June as she reached through the gap in the seat and dug her nails into the nape of his neck. He shrieked, and his hands shot away.

June barely had enough strength to get her own door open, and once it was, she didn’t move, so I leaned back and practically pushed her out of the car. ‘Go. Go,’ I told her. She fell into the mud with a soft splat.

That was when I remembered the phone. My phone.

Heath and I seemed to realize at the same time.

We both lunged, but he was too fast, and my back was in white-hot agony; he got there before I did, grabbed the phone and smashed it against the dashboard.

Once. Again. Again.

That didn’t matter now. I had to get to June.

I leaped from the car and went to her, making sure to move fast, to keep my feet up so I wouldn’t get stuck. It wasn’t easy; the rain was beating down and each step threatened to pull me under. There wasn’t time for that. Not any more. I tore through the sodden earth, round the back of the car, and made it to June, anchoring myself on an elevated bit of dirt.

‘Give me your arms,’ I told her.

‘I can’t. This one –’ It was pitch-black, but even with just the traces of moonlight crawling through the trees I could make out June’s arm hanging limp and unnatural.

‘OK, just …’ I grabbed her underneath her arms, got the best grip I could, and yanked.

June hollered, and I groaned with exertion, but I continued, pulling and pulling until the earth beneath her popped, releasing her. I hauled her to the side of the pit, just far enough out that she couldn’t be dragged under again.