The Truth About Keeping Secrets(14)

She laughed again. ‘Oh my God. So you just walked out?’

I nodded.

‘That’s – that’s exemplary. You have singularly done what I’ve dreamed of doing every day for the entirety of my high-school career. They just let you leave?’

Fine. I saw why people liked her; she was warm, and spoke like you were the only thing in the world that required her attention. But she wasn’t how I expected. I felt embarrassed – that I’d built up this whole character for her in my head, and had formed opinions on that character, without ever hearing the actual girl speak. I liked her, I decided. I liked June Copeland.

‘Bereavement perks,’ I said. I looked towards Dad’s headstone in an attempt to inject some sort of reality into this largely unbelievable situation. How long did it take for a human body to decompose?

‘What are you thinking?’ she asked.

‘Uh, nothing,’ I said, then reconsidered: brutal honesty had worked thus far. ‘I guess I was just wondering if he’s turned into … I don’t know. Worm food.’

‘Dude. Is that seriously your sense of humour?’

A hot confidence rushed through me. I wasn’t sure why, but I suddenly felt like it was very important to impress her. ‘Oh, that’s just the beginning. Bit the big one. Gave up the ghost.’ She snickered. Maybe it was just very important to make her laugh. ‘Pine overcoat.’

‘Shuffled off this mortal coil?’ she said, and I laughed, recognizing the line as Shakespeare. ‘Are you in AP Language this year?’ I nodded. ‘You read Hamlet next year. It’ll be right up your alley.’

‘Why?’

‘I mean, people have their opinions about it, whatever, but it’s mainly just a sissy, lamenting about death –’

‘Am I the sissy lamenting about death?’ I asked, tongue lodged firmly in my cheek.

She laughed. ‘No! It’s like, I don’t mean you’re a sissy, I mean you’d probably think it’s funny. I … this feels inappropriate. This feels like a weird way to have this conversation right now.’

I rested my chin in my hands and eyed the headstone again. ‘If I can’t laugh at it, or anything, then, I don’t know. I’m gonna …’ I finished the thought in my head: go crazy. Why – was – I telling her this? All the red lights in my brain flashed, the sirens went off: abort, abort, Sydney’s sharing intimate information with a total stranger, get her out of there!

But I didn’t go. I stayed. We stayed. Talked for a while, laughed so loud I hoped it’d be enough to wake the dead, all the dead, and I’d get to walk off with Dad, and maybe some kids would get to speak to Grandma’s skeletal remains – but instead of from below, the rumbling came from above. The rain picked up. Heavy, fat beads of it.

June looked up and squinted, the spray from the gentle splashes against her cheekbones clinging to her eyelashes. ‘Uh-oh. You came on your bike.’

I knew rain like this; the sky was about to open. ‘It’s OK. Luckily I’m water-resistant, so.’

June ignored the bad joke. ‘Let me give you a ride.’

‘Uh,’ I said, eloquent. She was looking at me so expectantly, with this glint in her eyes, that all possible answers seemed to be expelled from my head. But I couldn’t. I hadn’t been in a car since … And I had no intention of changing that. ‘It’s fine. Really.’

‘It’s the least I can do. And, hey,’ she said, smiling, ‘it’s not like I don’t know where you live.’

What was my excuse? I actually enjoyed riding a bike in the pouring rain? I decided to opt for aggressively declining instead of explaining. ‘I don’t – really. I’m OK. Thanks, though.’

June looked somewhat taken aback, and seemed to search my eyes for something. ‘Well, either way, I’m getting out of here. You coming?’

She jumped up, I followed, and we ran between the grave plots, icy wetness inching itself underneath the collar of my sweater. I pretended we were being chased, that we were running from something but we were fine and happy because we knew it wouldn’t catch us, and ahead of me, June moved like her body had a whole world in it.

See ya later, Dad.

I hopped on my bike without bothering to wipe off the seat, and June stopped outside her car for a second too long, like she wanted to say something. ‘Hey!’ she said, needing to shout to be heard over the rain. I turned to her. ‘I’ll see you around, OK?’

‘Yeah, see you around!’

She smiled, I waved, and she drove out of the parking lot.

I stayed there for a bit. Let the rainclouds swallow me up.

After I’d made it home, peeled off my wet clothes and wrung out my hair, Olivia texted me.

Her: THAT WAS AWESOME

It took me a second to remember what she was talking about. Oh, yeah. Farr-gate. This, of course, had been eclipsed by June-gate.

Me: Yeah, thanks. Best thing I’ve ever done, probably

Her: lol. it was wild. are you ok? want me to come over??

Me: Don’t worry I have a fucking tome’s worth of worksheets I need to start on

Her: ok. nice word!!! godspeed my rebellious friend!!!

It wasn’t really a lie. I did have a fucking tome’s worth of worksheets I needed to start on. But mainly I was planning to sit in bed and stare at the wall and think about whatever the hell just happened to me.