The Takedown(73)

Terrific. At the moment, I couldn’t make anything of anything.

“And if I know you, whatever school you end up at will one day have a building named after you. Second, as for Mac, honey, I saw how he looked at you at the All Brains on Deck meeting. He clearly adores you. Now, don’t bite my head off for asking, but why aren’t you dating him?”

I pulled at a loose thread on my bedspread.

“Because Mackenzie Rodriguez doesn’t date. He scores, then moves on, and that’s that. It’s like I told him, history doesn’t lie.”

Mom picked up Teddy and fiddled with his nose. She started to speak, stopped. Then, very carefully, she began again.

“Let’s not forget Mac is a teenage boy. Not only is he prewired to want to make out with every available face, but he’s cute enough to actually get to do it. You can’t blame him for that. But how long have you two been close now? Since September? Has Mac scored with anyone in that time?”

“No,” I said begrudgingly.

Though who knew if that still held true. Oh gawd—my stomach constricted—the date. It had to have gone well; he hadn’t txted me even once.

“Has he tried to score with you?”

“Mom.” I rolled my eyes, but still said, “No. Not really. He actually asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“So then what about that history? Isn’t it possible he feels differently about you?” She put her hands on my shoulders and gently shook me. “Regardless, baby, save all this relationship anxiety for your thirties. It’s not like you have to marry him. Actually, for the record, you should not marry your high school boyfriend. That’s how you end up miserable in your late twenties. If you didn’t like Mac that way, that’d be one thing. But I’ve also seen how you look at him.”

I played with the hem of her robe and then finally said what I’d been worried about this whole time.

“What if he breaks my heart? I’ll feel like such an idiot.”

“Well.” Her gray eyes crinkled at the corners. “That’s all part of the experience. It’s a given—an absolute fact—that at some point in life a person you love will tear your heart to shreds, but I don’t think that makes you stupid and I don’t think that person is Mackenzie Rodriguez. If anything, it will be the other way around. And then you’ll move on.”

Miraculously, problem by problem, Mom was making me feel better. Why had we been at each other’s throats so much these last few years? I let out a long sigh.

“That’s right,” she said. “Deep breaths. Also, before I lose the opportunity, might I add that if Mac does try to score with you, please use a condom.”

“Ew, Mom. Gross.”

“I’m sorry. It needed to be said. And lastly, I know she’s your best friend, but, honey, Audra’s always been kind of a bitch.”

Shocked, I laughed, “Mom.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s true. Living with that family doesn’t give her much choice. Granted, before the other night I hadn’t seen her for a while, but honey, Audra is clearly going through it.”

“What did you two even talk about?”

“At first, business. How the Paris stores were coming along, whether or not I liked my bookkeeper and accountant. I thought she was asking me on her parents’ behalf. Though, come to think of it, she did sound like she knew what she was talking about. I mean, what teenager knows about C corps? Then we mostly talked about you. How much she respected you, envied you. How she wished she could make you see and appreciate how perfect your life was. To be honest, it was a little intense. But I thought that’s what you liked about Audra. Her intensity. I mean, are you really that shocked that Audra’s this bra-and-panties girl?”

“Yes,” I huffed, but then, quieter, I said, “No. But it’s more than that. Instead of just telling me about B&P, Audra’s been increasingly resentful and nasty. And all along everyone knew why but me. Fawn slips up and spills secrets all the time. It’s not just Audra. I’m not sure I can be friends with any of them anymore. I mean, now I’m not even sure that I was to begin with.”

“Honey, the girls have known each other since they were babies. I’m not sure you can expect to have the same kind of friendship and trust that they do, coming in as late as you did.”

But then how come Ailey got let in on the secret?

“What do I know?” Mom sighed when I didn’t respond. “I always thought as far as friends are concerned, you reap what you sow.”

Poof. Gone went the relaxed vibe. In the dark I sensed Mom tense, like those last words accidentally got out and she wanted to bite them back in. I actually kind of felt sorry for her. Even in our times of peace, she still couldn’t quite like or forgive me. Audra was a bitch, my friends all let me down, and I’d reaped what I’d sown. Did this moment count as the person I loved tearing my heart to shreds? I rolled away from her so I was facing the wall.

“That didn’t come out right,” she said quietly, putting a hand on my back.

“It’s okay.” I forced out a laugh. “It’s good advice.”

She cleared her throat, then brightened. “How about I tell you the story of us?”

When I was growing up, anytime life seemed bad, Mom told me the story of us. It began with how she met Dad and continued to the present day. The moral of it was that life might not be easy, but we four Chengs were scrappy, we somehow always clawed our way to the top, and most importantly, we had each other.