The Songs in Our Hearts: A Young Adult Romance(55)

But it was brief, a mere soft peck, as though he only wanted to try and see what would happen.

Micah looked down at me, gauging my reaction, and then pulled away. The kiss happened all too quickly for me. I needed it to happen again. I wanted it to happen again.

“I think we should give that another go,” he said, as though reading my mind. He hovered over me, his hand brushing my neck, his thumb skimming smoothly over my skin and through my hair as his lips lowered to mine a second time. I lifted my hands to his sides, and held onto him tightly. His lips slanted slightly, deepening the kiss. My heart pounded loudly in my ears.

His lips parted, inviting me to participate. My body began to melt and buzz to life all at once, as my fingers dug into the back of his shirt. I was eager to return the deepened kiss. His body relaxed against mine as his fingers moved to the back of my head, massaging my scalp. Micah’s lips moved expertly against mine, leaving me breathless and drowsy.

He pulled away slowly, but by the expression in his eyes, he seemed pleased. I lay there in amazement. I had no words to fill the silence of the room, or the space between us. I had never imagined my first kiss to be so…perfect.

“You’re actually speechless,” Micah murmured. “I didn’t think I’d ever see the day.”

His eyes scanned over my dazed expression with a smug smile. Was he going to go for a third kiss? Did he realize what this meant for me? For us?

“Please, don’t break my heart,” I heard myself rasp, and the amusement in his eyes faded.

“Why would I break your heart?” Micah brushed his thumb against the corner of my lips, his nose to my cheek. My arms were still awkwardly holding onto his sides. I couldn’t seem to let go of him.

What explanation could I give him? I was scared of allowing myself to be happy with him. I was scared of opening myself up to Micah, showing him all my bumps and bruises. And somehow, one day, losing him. I was afraid of facing an unforeseeable rejection by him. Though I was thrilled to have been kissed by him, I feared being so vulnerable.

“I don’t want to break your heart, Charlie. That’s the last thing I want to do.” Micah leaned down, pressing another soft kiss against my lips, as though he were trying to seal his words. I parted my mouth, welcoming him. I wanted him to continue. This was actually happening. Micah had just kissed me…and was kissing me again! Did he feel the same way I was feeling? There was a building desire growing in the pit of my stomach with every slant of his lips. His fingers carefully moved from my cheek, to my shoulder and then slowly down my side. His caresses were intoxicating. I heard myself let out a soft gasp as his lips moved away from mine, down to my neck.

The sound of the garage door opening broke our moment. Micah quickly pushed himself off of me and the bed. I got up, feeling groggy as I watched him pick up his car keys.

“I’ll head out. Don’t want to get you in trouble with your parents.” Something in the tone of his voice didn’t feel right. Something had changed.

“You won’t,” I said. I wanted to talk. I wanted to know what this moment meant to him. He couldn’t just leave after kissing me like that. “You don’t have to go.”

“I should probably head home and make sure my dad hasn’t burned the place down. When we left, he was making dinner for himself.”

I didn’t know whether to lift myself up on my toes and kiss his cheek, or wave him off, like we were only friends—like nothing had just happened. Why did this have to be so complicated?

“Plus, we’ve got the whole monster-coming-to-life scene Monday. I should go rest up so I can give my ultimate performance,” Micah teased.

I heard my parents and their jingling keys as they entered the house. My dad’s voice echoed throughout the house, almost like a warning of stop-doing-things-you-shouldn’t-be. “We’re home.”

“Micah,” I said, as I tried to stop him, reaching for his arm. But Micah moved away wordlessly down the hall.

“Oh, hey, Micah,” my mom greeted him. Could she see how flushed my cheeks were? I swallowed.

“Hey, Mrs. Blake.” Micah waved. “Just headed out. Thanks for letting us use your camera and the backyard for our film today.” His comment was also directed to my dad, who was busy going through the pile of mail on the table. Dad nodded his head in acknowledgement as Micah slipped out the door. I wanted to prevent him from leaving. Had the tables really been turned on me? Was he really running away from this…from me…from us…?

“Did you two have fun today?” Dad asked me.

I shrugged as I turned back toward my room. “I thought we did.”

Closing my door behind me, I tried to keep myself calm. Deciding hot water might help, I clambered into the shower and tried to steady my thoughts. Once the water started to turn cold, I stepped out and changed into my pajamas. My heart felt heavy as I sank down into my bed.

As I lay on my mattress, I rested my phone on my chest. I felt incredibly confused. All of this was so new to me. I had never been kissed before. It was better than a Hollywood movie-kiss, or even my “La Vie En Rose” fantasy; this had been real.

I closed my eyes and relived our kisses. There had been a tender eagerness in his lips. In my memory, I could still feel his fingers on my waist, holding me tightly against him. I had never known what it was like to be so connected, so close to someone before.