The Similars (The Similars #1)(93)

“I wouldn’t exactly call him poor,” says the first nurse as she repositions the compress.

“Money can’t buy health, now can it?” asks the second nurse.

I close my eyes, tuning them out. This isn’t real, Emmaline, I remind myself. It’s only a memory, and not even that. This is clearly a fabricated memory made up of the bits and pieces of stories I’d heard from my childhood. I don’t remember this conversation.

I breathe slowly, trying to calm myself. This vision will end. This, too, shall pass.

Suddenly the steady beeping from the monitor turns to a long continuous beep. My eyes fly open to see the nurses urgently leaning over the girl’s bed.

“She’s flatlining,” says the first nurse.

I focus on the little girl’s face, willing this moment to end.

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to banish the image of the dying child from my mind.

The doctor in Sweden saved you, Emmaline. You didn’t die. You lived. You’re still alive.

When I open my eyes, I’m not in my room at home anymore. I’m standing at the edge of Hades Point. The wind is howling, and my face feels frozen, as though I’ve been standing out in this desolate spot for ages.

I look at my feet planted mere inches from the edge, and peer down at the sheer cliff below me. I can’t get those images out of my head. My father’s blame. Jane’s reproach. Logically, I know Gravelle distorted those moments and used them to manipulate me. I know my dad and Jane don’t blame me for my mother’s death, for Oliver’s death. But still.

The wind slaps at my face, and I begin to sob. I stare off Hades Point, knowing it would only take a second for me to stop the noise and calm myself forever.

The toe of my right foot skims the edge of the rock. I scoot forward. I’m about to leap. To my death? But I don’t actively wish to die. Not now. Not at all.

I don’t want to plummet to the rocks below. I don’t want the earth to close in on me like a giant fist, crushing every bone in my body. I don’t want my life to be over. I may be without my mother and Ollie, but everything I still strive, love, and hope for…

And yet, I can’t stop. Some force greater than myself pushes me forward. I take in a deep breath and air fills my lungs for what might be the last time. I resign myself to my fate.

I am free-falling. As my body hurtles toward the rocks below, I wonder how long it will take for the pain to cease, for my body to break. I close my eyes, bracing for impact.

It doesn’t have to be like this, a voice—my voice?—says.

I open my eyes, confused. The rocky crags are below me. I’m still falling. Time has slowed, but the rocks grow closer. Surely they will devour me.

You don’t have to do this. You can live. You will live.

I can’t tell if this voice is mine or someone else’s, or something else entirely—but it gives me pause.

You are in control. You can stop this, Emma. You can change your fate. You can change the course of your life.

Without warning, without knowing how, I stop, hovering in midair. Inexplicably, I’m no longer careening toward my imminent demise. I’m floating. I’m flying.

It’s impossible to understand, but somehow my body is being carried upward. I’m rushing toward the sky, toward the clouds—away from death.

I stretch out my arms, hesitant at first, then with more confidence. I raise my face to the wind and let it carry me up. Up to safety, to something otherworldly. I am flying. Flying.

I’m not a bird; I’m still me, and yet I’m soaring through clouds. I look down at Hades Point, taking in its majesty. From this angle, it’s not ominous. It’s beautiful. I see trees, Darkwood. I can see the whole world from here, and it is glorious. I’m not afraid. I close my eyes, and this time, I feel powerful. I feel free…

I wake with a start. I’m back in the chair in the compound. My heart is racing. I’m panting, bowled over by an acute pain in my chest.

I take a minute to catch my breath, and when I do, I try to catch Levi’s gaze. It is such a relief to see his face. But he looks ineffably sad.

“That is our latest technology, Emmaline,” Gravelle says, coming up beside me. I don’t like how he’s looking at me. It’s different from when I first arrived. Goose bumps flush over my arms. I’m shivering.

“Congratulations,” Gravelle continues. “Only a handful of select and very lucky candidates have had a chance to demo the VR Obsidian.”

“Did he do this to you, Levi? When you lived here? Was this part of your…education?”

“Yes,” Levi says, his voice hollow. “He hoped to strengthen our minds the way he’d trained our bodies. Make us tough enough to withstand emotional torture.”

I take that in, my mind reeling. “What did he show you just now?” I ask. “All the worst moments of your life?”

“Not exactly,” Levi says.

“What?”

“The only way to explain is to show you,” Levi says. He looks so lost—so sad—I want to wrap my arms around him to reassure him. But I still can’t move.

“Oliver?” Levi says, raising his voice. “We’re ready for you.”





Oliver


A teenage boy enters the room. He strides deliberately toward us. He looks exactly like my dead best friend. He looks like Levi too, of course, but he is more Oliver. He has Oliver’s hair, Oliver’s slightly thinner build.