The Similars (The Similars #1)(20)

I stand abruptly. All nine other students turn to look at me.

Madison’s voice cuts through the silence. “I haven’t dismissed you yet, Emmaline.”

“I’m freezing. I want to change into dry clothes and go to bed.” I need to get out of here, to go somewhere I can think.

Madison’s smile is tight. “I said, I haven’t dismissed the meeting yet. Does everyone understand the task at hand?”

The others nod, but I can’t bring myself to.

“All right, then.” Madison turns to face me. “You are now officially dismissed.”

Pru and I huddle together as we walk down the dark Cypress hallway. We don’t speak until we reach the privacy of our room. As soon as the door shuts behind us, Pru starts talking.

“I had an alert ready to send to the infirmary,” she explains. “I cued it up the minute they ordered me to throw you into the lake and pull you out again. You know how strong my arms are from rowing. Plus, I’m certified in CPR. Otherwise, I never would have agreed to it. Emma—I would have died before I let you drown. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” I say, and I mean it. “I just can’t believe the Ten is so…twisted. Although with Madison in charge, I guess I can.”

“We could report her,” Pru suggests. “There’s no way the administration signed off on the hazing stuff she put us through today. The school would be horrified if it knew what their most accomplished students were up to in the middle of the night.”

“You don’t think Ransom knows about any of it?”

“I doubt it. He’d be in so much trouble if anything happened to one of us…” She pauses. “Emma?”

“Yes?” My heart is pounding as I try to process what went on tonight. And what it means for me and Prudence. And the other Similars in the Ten, including Levi.

“You can’t leave. If we quit the Ten…”

“We’ll rank in last place,” I supply.

“And I’ll lose my scholarship,” Pru says quietly. “I’ll go on academic probation if my rank falls to the bottom. And my mom, she’s counting on me graduating. A diploma from Darkwood will make her so proud. My dad too… I want to give her that. You know, in case…”

She dies. That’s what Pru can’t bring herself to say. My heart sinks. “How’d you know I was thinking about leaving?”

“I consider myself an Emmaline expert.”

“We can’t do what Madison asked us. We can’t bring her the name of a student we want to see fail.”

“Then we won’t. We’ll figure something else out. But if we quit—Madison wins.” Pru squeezes my hand, then moves off to her side of our room to get ready for bed, leaving me with my thoughts.

I dig in my backpack for the orange prescription tube, the one that holds the pharmas. I hurry to the bathroom, knowing I won’t be able to take back what I’m about to do. When I’m done, I won’t be able to escape Oliver—or Levi.

But if I’m going to make it through junior year and this Ten business alive, I can’t let my guard down. Or end up at the bottom of Dark Lake, dead this time at Madison’s hand. I wouldn’t put it past her. I pop the cap off the tube, tilting it toward the toilet bowl. The pills drop into the shallow water, and I flush the suckers down.

Then I step into the shower, letting the heat warm and calm me. After I dry off, I slip on flannel pajama pants and my favorite T-shirt that Oliver gave me, which says “Instant Yo-Yo,” and I climb into bed, making sure not to wake Pru, who’s already snoring. It’s no shock when sleep eludes me. It’s hard to stop the never-ending wave of thoughts. About Oliver. About Levi…their twin faces now interchangeable in my mind. Levi has begun to invade my precious memories of Ollie. The ones I rely on for comfort. Those memories are proof that he existed, and that what we had was extraordinary. Now, I see Levi in places where Oliver should be, and I hate him for it.

Footsteps outside the door interrupt the endless loop in my mind. Our room isn’t on the way to the bathroom, which is at the other end of the hall. Pru and I have the last room on this end, by the door that leads outside. I briefly wonder who might be out of bed at this hour and what they’re doing. The likelihood is that it’s another Ten member, still awake. But why would they be heading outside at one o’clock in the morning?

I pull on my gray hoodie and slip into my flip-flops, quietly opening my door and peering down the hallway, where I see a figure opening the door to Darkwood’s grounds. The exit sign above the door illuminates her face. Maude. It isn’t Madison, because this girl’s blond hair is pulled back severely. And her face—it looks determined but lacks Madison’s detached expression. Where is she going?

Without thinking, I follow her outside and down the path that leads to Dark Lake. She walks quickly, moving with the intention of someone who never questions herself. Is she meeting someone? I’m curious if she’s as outraged about the Ten as I am. If what she’s doing out of bed has anything to do with Madison’s orders tonight. Or if she’s meeting the other Similars, including Levi. As much as I want to deny it, I feel compelled to find out more about him, about all of them.

I must be losing my mind. After the emotional and death-defying day I’ve had, I should be resting for the first day of class, not following a Similar in the dead of night.