The Shadowglass (The Bone Witch, #3)(80)

“Your Majesty.” Tears filled my eyes, my guilt bubbling within me. “I am so sorry.”

“I am not. The things that he said—they were unforgivable.” Kance’s voice grated, ax on whetstone. “I thought at first that his rantings were the result of his madness. Gibberish that had no foundation in truth. But as time went on, he spoke of deeds I knew to be authentic. About how he collaborated with Aenah and how he was willing to sacrifice Khalad for Aenah to gain her shadowglass. He would curse my brother often, refer to him as a sodomite, as not a man or child of his.

“And you. He would scream your name like it was a curse, day and night, more than he would scream Khalad’s. He’d scream about all the horrible things he’d planned to do to you, of the terrible things he still wanted to do. I realized then that he’d been insane long before you’d turned him mad. He’d learned to hide it behind hearty laughs and an occasional wave to the crowd.”

“I am sorry.”

“Lady Tea.” For the first time in so long, Kance took my hand in his, the gesture at once gentle and achingly familiar. “I killed my father because it was the right decision, not for you. I’m not sorry for killing him. I am only sorry that I had not done so earlier. The headaches plaguing me during the months that I cared for him disappeared the night I smothered him. I slept like a baby, undisturbed by nightmares. I no longer needed Althy’s herbs for sleep. My father was the tumor I needed to excise. And whenever I allow myself to feel shame for being a kinslayer, I only remember his horrid ravings, and it passes soon enough.”

He dropped my hand and added quietly, “But I do not trust the Dark, nor its powers that you wield. It is too much for any one person, and possessing that power can only end in tragedy. Odalia remains closed to you, Lady Tea—for the time being. I cannot risk my kingdom. My father did enough damage to last my lifetime. I will accept your help and your alliance for this war with Drycht, but only because I intend to see every Faceless wiped from these lands. If Druj resides within those mountains, then I will see him burn myself.”

“I understand, Your Majesty.” Kance is no longer a friend, I thought with a pang of sadness. But his lack of animosity was the best I could hope for. “Thank you for your clemency.”

“Make no mistake, Lady Tea. If the Dark should take control of you—though I pray to the gods every day that will not be so—then I will not hesitate.”

“Should the darkrot take me, Your Majesty, then I pray for the awareness and the acuity to lay my head on the block for your killing blow.”

Much to my surprise, his hand found mine again, gripping it tightly. “Do not jest,” Kance snapped. “Do you think I await that day? You were one of my trusted friends, Tea. You were the sister I never had. Do you think it doesn’t hurt me to be at odds with you? That it doesn’t scare me to imagine that the power you wield will wind up killing you? If there was a way to extract the Dark from you, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

“The Dark has always been a part of me, Your Majesty. And it came with benefits. It was drawing in the Dark that led me to your acquaintance. It was the Dark that enabled me to raise my brother from the dead. That I have lost both your trust does not make me bitter in the experience.”

Kance looked troubled. His heartsglass glowed pale red.

“And if it were not for the Dark, I would never have met Kalen, and that alone is enough to be thankful for, regardless of whatever else may happen. I am happy that you do not hold me in so poor a regard as you did in our last encounter, Your Majesty. I only hope to improve my standing with you in the coming months by proving there is more to me than the Dark you fear.”

“What makes you think I shall change my mind?”

“Because you told me about your father’s death. That you thought to place your trust in me despite all that has happened…I am glad. The fault has always been mine, Your Majesty, and I never once disagreed with your decision to exile me from Odalia. If anything, you were more merciful than I ever was. Should my time come, I hope to find that same mercy, undeserving as I am of it.”

“Tea,” Kance began, but fell silent when Kalen drew beside me.

“Kance,” Kalen greeted, his gaze sliding to me curiously.

“Lady Tea and I were catching up,” King Kance murmured. He offered me a bow. “Thank you for your time.”

“What was that all about?” Kalen asked, watching the King of Odalia leave.

“King Telemaine died,” I said, unsure if it was my place to tell anyone about Kance’s hand in his father’s passing, even if it was Kalen. He sensed my hesitation and didn’t press for further details. “He hasn’t forgiven me.”

“Not yet. It’s different when one’s own father dies, no matter what he’d done.”

I leaned closer toward him.

“Is that what’s troubling you?”

“No. I’m just glad he’s put aside his hostility toward me, if only for the moment. It’s more than I expected.”

“Having second thoughts?” Kalen teased. “Should I be jealous?”

I made a face at him. “You know I’m not. But our conversation’s left me wondering—if Odalia knows of Drychta here at Mithra’s Wall, then surely Kion must have had some news of it too. But there has been no word from them.”