The Shadowglass (The Bone Witch, #3)(74)

“Nothing within that mountain merited the price it asks for, milord.”

“Our value changes depending on how we perceive our worth, Lady Tea. You will always be welcomed here, no matter how far you go.”

“Thank you, Lord Agnarr. We shall leave in the morning.”

“It feels like this was all a waste of time,” Likh complained.

“Not necessarily. We didn’t lose anything making the journey. We have time to spare to join the Odalians and Yadoshans.”

Khalad shot her a careful, deliberate glance. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. “I think we need to talk.”

Likh glanced at us, blushed, and turned to him. “Tea, Kalen. If you will excuse us?”

“What are those two up to?” I asked, watching them head off.

“A lot happened while you were asleep. Khalad hasn’t voiced an opinion yet, but after the shock wore off, I don’t think he’s against the idea that Likh likes him.”

The snow had gotten worse, and our meals were served to us in the small houses allotted for our visit—hot mutton stew and fresh loaves of bread. Kalen was quiet for most of the meal, chewing on bread and staring out the window. The Fire runes in the room kept us from the cold, but outside, we could hear the storm growing in strength. Above us, the wooden roof creaked.

“What’s on your mind? You seem preoccupied,” I said.

Kalen smiled briefly. “Just a little tired. I haven’t had much sleep.”

“Because you were watching over me while I did,” I remembered. “Don’t stay up on my behalf. Our hosts were kind enough to prepare beds for us. We have a long flight tomorrow—”

“After you answer me one question. What made you refuse the last trial?”

I stopped, looking into his serious, brown eyes. “I’m not sure why this is important,” I hedged.

“It is to me. You told us everything about the trials of Duty and Honor, but you were recalcitrant when it came to the last. What is it that you’re not telling me?”

I trembled, wavering between confessing and lying, though the latter was no longer an option where he was involved. “It was you. You were dead in a pool of blood. Fox was there, telling me that you were a necessary sacrifice for me to be worthy. And I couldn’t—you were dead, and I couldn’t…”



I saw no surprise in his heartsglass, only a quiet sadness.

“You knew?” I whispered.

“I knew it was a possibility.” He gathered my hands in his. “The world is a much bigger place than the space I occupy, and with even greater consequences.”

“There will be no world if you aren’t here with me, Kalen.” I was shocked by the vehemence of my words, my anger that he would even consider it.

“I asked you to run away with me, to make our own small mark in the world.” His voice trembled, proof he was more shaken than he would have me believe.

“If I agree to run away with you, and we learn that Kance is in trouble a month later, would you stay away?”

He hesitated.

“And yet, I know you love me.”

“Let me modify my original proposal, then. Run away with me. And if a daeva returns, or if Fox or Kance or Mykaela or anyone else finds themselves in trouble, then we discuss the means to aid them without attracting the elders’ attention.”

“That’s not very fair of you,” I whispered.

“I’m not trying to be. The only thing stopping you from saying yes is your guilt.”

“I don’t deserve a happy ending.”

“You’re wrong.” He kissed my temple. “We deserve this, Tea. Come away with me. Wherever we wind up, I’ll love you till the end of my days. Please.” His voice broke. “I don’t want you to die, Tea. Don’t leave me alone.”

It was selfish.

I was selfish.

But I had already given up far too much.

“Yes. Yes, I’ll run away with you.”

The hail pounding against the roof was the only sound in the room. Kalen’s heartsglass flickered from the purest silver to the deepest, darkest red.

We came together violently, a tangle of limbs, his hard frame against mine as we stumbled blindly into bed. His hands were eager, his fingers experienced from older memories of us. The robes I wore were promptly discarded, his own following after. We clung like starved folk finding safety in each other and drinking our fill as the blizzard outside increased in intensity, matching our desperation.

In the middle of it all, I began to weep. Perhaps the thought of more death unsettled me, the idea finding traction in my skin. My choices shaped the topography of some unseen map; every decision dictated a far-reaching repercussion, rippling into outcomes I did not intend. Did the summoning of an azi set off a king’s madness or the slaying of a beloved mentor? If I had never insulted a young runeberry picker from Murkwick village, might I have not murdered my sister? Had I never raised Fox from the dead, would shadowglass be someone else’s problem, or no problem at all?

If I had done none of them, would I have fallen in love with Kalen?

And that’s what it all boiled down to, didn’t it? Kalen.

“Tea?” Kalen lifted his face, wet from my tears. He brushed slick, dark strands of hair off my face. He lifted himself to lie beside and gathered me close, our fervency no longer important.